Monday, June 29, 2009

Enjoy Pittsburgh

Ok folks. Get your easy chairs - you know with the puffy cushions, and crack open your beers and kick back and relax. You have three games. Three games against the Pirates. Three games that don't mean a whole lot. Three games of worry free baseball.

Then home. vs Milwaukee. Then St. Louis. 4 games a piece with each. An 11 game stretch with the Braves sandwiched in between that could and most likely will determine the rest of the season. Make no mistake - these are the biggest games of the season so far, and will likely be the biggest games of the season overall. What OMC? OMG You're SO overreacting! Really?

Think back to a certain road trip up to Milwaukee last August. That 4-game sweep nailed the coffin shut on the Brewers. Remember the 5 game St. Louis series in '03? Yes it was in September, but it catapulted the Cubs to within 5 outs of the World Series.

So yeah - these games are THAT big. Cubbies it's time to get them swingin', and I don't mean the bats - but honestly those too. It's time to show the Cardinals that a one-man-band goes out of tune real quick. It's time to show the Boo-Hoo Crew, that while they're really cute, those kids are not ready to play with the big boys.

Or it's time to whimper and cry and curl up into a corner and let them take what is ours.

Your call. You've got three days to make your decision. Let us know if we're all wasting our time.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Apologies

Normally, I try to keep the blog as profanity free as possible. There's a lot of "freaking"s and special characters, and the like, and rest assured that minimal profanity trend will continue, except when talking about DeRosa and the F-up that Jim Hendry has become. In a future entry, we'll tackle some of the best and worst moves of Jimmy's career thus far.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Caution! R-Rated post!!!

Fuck you Jim Hendry. Fuck you, fuck your mother, and fuck your dog. Bounce balls off your fucking chin, you worthless piece of cock sucking dog shit. This is the pretty little bow on your dismal clusterfucking failure of an offseason.

Headline: Cardinals Acquire Mark DeRosa
http://www.mlbtraderumors.com/2009/06/cardinals-acquire-mark-derosa.html

That's right. Mark DeRosa is now sleeping with the enemy, and more importantly, the Cardinals are about to bend you over a fucking rail and make you their bitches.

Just so we're clear - you traded away the most versatile player in the NL for three pitching prospects. Then, the team you traded him to traded him to our fucking rivals.

Fuck you Jim Hendry. Fuck you hard, fuck you long, and fuck you good. And by the way - ANYONE who even thinks about applauding for DeRo when he comes back here wearing red - fuck you even harder. It was fun to cheer when you only had to see him three games and then he could go rot in obscurity. He's a fucking Cardinal now, so all of you people even thinking about putting left hand to right hand better just sit down and shut the fuck up.

Jim Hendry - you better hope this team gets its shit together and makes it to the postseason, or you will be the most hated man in Chicago.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Home field advantage should be an advantage...

Some background From Red Line Rundown

This just in - Ozzie hates Wrigley

Yes yes Ozzie, go ahead and bash the Crumbling Confines once again - better that than talk about how abysmal your team is.

Could someone please show me the passage in the MLB rulebook that says it's the home team's job to make the visiting team comfortable? Because it seems like it's gotta be in there somewhere with all the complaining going on. If I were the Cubs, I'd make the visiting clubhouse smaller, and make one leg on every chair about 1/4" shorter than the rest.

It's called Home field advantage for a reason. You're not supposed to look forward to going there. Tell ya what - here's what we'll do.

We'll excavate behind the visitor's dugout and put the clubhouse there. Then, we'll install moving sidewalks from the clubhouse to the parking lot - so you don't have to walk. Then, we'll load you up with plushy vibrating massage chairs - two per player in case you want to sit more than once - each with it's own fridge microwave and flat screen TV. Then we'll block out half of the tickets in the stands for IP addresses located on the South side (online sales), area codes starting with 708 (phone sales), and people at the box office wearing Sox hats.

Will THAT make you happy Ozzie? You're going to the other team - it's our job to make you uncomfortable. Get over it.

Sorry Sori - You're Screwed.

I can't help but laugh at all the people who complain about Soriano leading off, and here's why - When he's hot, everyone complains that he's hitting too many home runs solo. When he's cold (or in recent history glacial), everyone complains that he doesn't hit enough.

Now, I'm the first to defend Soriano leading off - not because he's a leadoff hitter, but because that's the only place he's even close to being productive. He can't hit a beach ball with a tennis racket if he hits elsewhere. Stat upon stat upon stat backs this up and people just won't hear it. Lou is not coddling Soriano, or bowing to him, he's doing what a good manager does - he's putting his players in a position to succeed.

Now however, Soriano is sucking cheetah toes. So, it seems to me he can suck elsewhere in the lineup. Once he gets his swing back, he can go back to hitting leadoff home runs, but until then, he has to be moved, or he can ride the pine next to "The Mistake". Your call Lou.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

The Traffic camera thing in Illinois is Bogus...kinda

Sorry for the non-Cubs related post, but I had to get this off my chest, and posting here updates my facebook profile and gives me a public link I send to all the #$%^#$% that continue to spam my inbox.

Ok people, I'm sick of getting this email. STOP! It's not true. At least not entirely. For details see here -
http://www.snopes.com/politics/traffic/illinois.asp
Ok, yes snopes marks it as true, but we're gonna break this down:

Illinois will begin using photo radar in freeway work zones in July. One mile per hour over the speed limit and the machine will get you a nice $375.00 ticket in the mail. Beginning July 1st, the State of Illinois will begin using the speed cameras in areas designated as "Work Zones" on major freeways.

This is mostly crap because Illinois has been using these vans for 4 years already. It isn't THIS July, it's July 2005.

Anyone caught by these devices will be mailed a $375.00 ticket for the FIRST offense.
The SECOND offense will cost $1000.00 and comes with a 90-Day suspension.


This part is true. Steep.

Drivers will also receive demerit points against their license, which allow insurance companies to raise Insurance rates.
Total Horse crap. Illinois does NOT and never has used "Demerit points" on driver's licenses. Some states do, but not all. So the scenes in Fifth Element do have some basis - just not here.

This is the harshest penalty structure ever set for a governmental unit involving PHOTO speed enforcement. No idea, but sure why not?

The State already has two camera vans on line issuing tickets 24/7 in work zones with speed limits lowered to 45 MPH. Total crap, in that they have 5, not 2.

For more info: http://www.dot.state.il.us/press/r033005.html
This link results in a "page not found" or similar error, and here's why - look at the file name - r033005.html

Let me write that another way for you - 03/30/05. Yes. this was a press release in 2005. The most recent press release reiterates the true portions of this email -
http://www.dot.state.il.us/press/r062409.html

By the way - they have _5_ vans for the entire state of Illinois. Chicago has more than 5 expressways. You are in no more danger on July 1 of getting a ticket than you are today.

Long story short - do you HAVE to slow down in construction zones? Not because of these "NEW" laws. Should you? Absolutely.

So stop sending this to me!!!!

2009 Roster - mid season update

See the previous Roster breakdown

Here's your midseason update with 1 or 2 coming every day up until the All Star Game

Roster #1 - Milton Bradley - "The Mistake". Can't hit, can't field, can't count outs, can't keep his mouth shut. Everything we expected.
Roster #2 - Kosuke Fukudome - Little tip - it helps if you face the plate when the ball crosses it. Stop spinning, even if it is June.
Roster #3 - Kevin Gregg - Not exactly the dominant closer we were all looking for. Neither was Wood, but this guy's last name ain't Wood.
Roster #4 - Geovany Soto - Thought his weight gain in the offseason was rookie laziness. Turns out it was the munchies.
Roster #5 - Ted Lilly - Nobody liked this sign and nobody was right about what was to happen. Only All-Star candidate on the team this year.
Roster #6 - Carlos Marmol - Still can't close the Dutch, let alone an ML team. 12 balls then 9 strikes. You can almost set your watch to it.
Roster #7 - Aaron Miles - When you're batting .203, you're not a switch hitter. You're a switch stander.
Roster #8 - Micah Hoffpauir - The Hoff. That's right, the Hoff. 71 games in and he's still the Hoff. Boo-yah.
Roster #9 - Jake Fox - Never before has one dimensional play been so awesome.
Roster #10 - Derrek Lee - Suddenly realized that the Hoff can play 1st base. Hasn't stopped hitting since. In May, this is a different entry
Roster #11 - Aramis Ramirez - The savior of the Cubs, assuming he gets his stroke back before September and keeps it past October 1.
Roster #12 - Mike Fontenot - Your 2009 starting 2nd baseman - unfortunately. Following the trend of our other lefties.
Yeah, yeah..the rest of these are late. I'm working on it...

8-10-09 - You know what - these useless a-holes aren't worth finishing this roster. Get back to me at the end of september...

Roster #13 - Coming July 1
Roster #14 - Coming July 2
Roster #15 - Coming July 3
Roster #16 - Coming July 4
Roster #17 - Coming July 5
Roster #18 - Coming July 6
Roster #19 - Coming July 7
Roster #20 - Coming July 8
Roster #21 - Coming July 9
Roster #22 - Coming July 10
Roster #23 - Coming July 11
Roster #24 - Coming July 12
Roster #25 - Coming July 13

Reflections

I've been asked about more regular postings - any why not after all, and I was trying to keep up with the "Reflections" posts, but frankly how many different way can you say - Gawd- these guys ain't hitting. Yes there was that brief shining moment from Thurs - Sunday when the Cubs managed to beat a bad Sox team and then sweep a really crappy Indians team, but beyond those four days - newsflash - the Cubs have completely and totally 100% without exception sucked pretty large hemorrhoids.

Guess what folks - this is rapidly shaping into a repeat of the 2004 season. And Jimmy Henny is a large part of that - dismantling a team that won 97 games and repalcing them with inferior parts.

It is a freaking died int he wool miracle that the Cubs are only 3.5 games out of first right now. An absolute God-send. This, folks is a .500 team. Period. As the half way point approaches, we'll re-do the roster breakdown. In fact, let's start now - on twitter and here, leading up to the All Star Game.

Stay tuned.

Nearing the half-way point..

Anyone remember this?
http://oneminutecubs.blogspot.com/2009/04/predictions.html

Yep, as the Cubs play game #73, we near the half way point. We'll take a look at some stats at that point and see how woefully wrong I was, and still am.

I for one am not looking forward to this, but you undoubtedly are...

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Soriao needs a nap and other changes.

Lou recently talked aobut some "tough decisions" to come. One of those tough decisions better not be putting Soriano at second. Soriano needs to sit for a while. I was initially thinking a couple of days, but I saw a commenter somewhere suggest a DL stint, and maybe that's not such a bad idea either. Although the prospect of putting in someone who's actually worse defensively (read the Hoff or Fox) kinda scares me. But as long as someone's there who can hit, I'll take it.

Some other names that popped into my head during my 1 hour commute this morning of guys who might be available at positions we can actually change - Miguel Tejada - could play third for a while, then move back to short when Ramirez comes back, then put Theriot or Fontenot (whichever you didn'th ave to move to get Tajada) at second.

Dan Uggla - not thrilled by his defense, but he's shown a relatively consistent and decent power bat.

Brain Roberts - oh yeah. I went there. Not sure how trade-for-able he is tho. Granted these are just names with no research or anything, just names I've heard might be available going to positions we can change.

More on this later.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Vindication...

This pretty much sums up the day:

Yeah, I'm a Bad Ass.


OMG! I'm a dumbass!


What a dumbass...

You F^cking Dumbass...

Bobby Abreu watch - .297/.398/.415/.814

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Disclaimer

Hey folks, listen up, cuz I'm only gonna say this once.

I'm a blogger, not a journalist, and barely a "writer" though I do use the English language better than a lot. I don't have a press pass, I don't have any inside contacts, and the longest conversation I've ever had with an athlete was Mark Grace when I was 12 ("Hi!" "How are you?"). So everything I say is baseless. None of it has any substance and for the most part, unless I quote statistics, I don't even research this stuff. Most of what I say is my opinion based on what I see on TV or hear on the radio. Nothing more. If ever there comes a time that I do have anything of substance to report, I will probably die of shock and I WILL cite my sources.

Meantime, enjoy the dialogue, and by dialogue, I mean the posts, and by posts I mean...yeah.

One thing I can say for certain tho - Rickie Weeks does indeed suck - and suck a lot.

Been a while...

Ok, ok, so I've neglected my throngs of readers here on OMC. I've been tweeting up a storm tho, so hopefully you follow me over there. But in general, I haven't had much more than 140 characters worth to say.
One update - Milton Bradley shall henceforth be known as "The Mistake" - he still sucks.
Jake Fox was sent to the minors to make way for switch hitting Miles - nice move - actually - he could use the consistent AB's so I don't have too much of a problem with that.
Derrek Lee no longer sucks monkey balls. He's been upgraded to just not hitting for power, which still sucks, but...
Fuku has shocked the baseball world by not sucking in June.
Soto has shocked the baseball world by continuing to suck into June.
Ted Lilly is emerging as the Ace of the staff, tho Z did have a good showing last night.
Guzman is seeking full time employment in Marmol's job.

More to come undoubtedly...

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Missed opportunity...

So McClouth is a Brave now. This rather irritates me because, once again, as I called for back in Nov-Dec. I'd rater see McClouth in a Cubs uniform than Milt. Coulda saved us a bunch of money, gotten some speed and power in the lineup and prevented the necessity of other bone-headed moves (Read: DeRosa). Coulda had Mickey in center, and Fuku in right.

Now a move doesn't make sense, unless you're dumping Milt or Fuku - yeah right. So good for the Braves. Bad for Jimmy.

WSOX is on the air...

Well, congratulations Sox fans - you've got your own radio station now. The Score announced today that Dan McNeil - formerly of the Mac, Jerko and Harry show - will join the WSCR team on June 15th, replacing Holmes, Hampton and Murphy, and virtually guaranteeing that any talk about the Northsiders will be minimal and as negative as possbile. Granted, that won't be that hard this season. WSCR hasn't officially gone so far as to change their call letters to WSOX, but they've made their intentions pretty clear with this move.

Mac worked out so well for the ESPNers that he was both suspended and fired within the space of the last year, so have fun with that Scoreians. I will keep my radio locked firmly on WGN or ESPN, when I bother to venture into the AM world at all.

Murph - you weren't the best host in the world, but at least you could reliably at least refer to the Cubs on about a daily basis, and that will be missed. LHolmes and Hampton - I wasn't always awake for your show, but whne I was, it was ok to listen to, tho you're both far more football oriented than I normally care for.

So, to sum up, congratualtions Sox fans - you have your own station now. I'm sure you'll flock to the station in droves - as long as they keep winning. First losing streak, and I'm sure the Score will see how much a good idea it is to align their station with Sox fans.

P.S. All Score references from here on out will be referred to as "WSOX"