Reflections on Cincy

Things we know
- The bullpen still sucks
- It will suck for a long, long time
- They can't blow it every game
- They sure can give it a shot.

Things we suspect
- Maybe the Cubs didn't get hosed on Silva
- Zambrano doesn't suck, but that doesn't mean he's great
- Sean Marshall may save this bullpen single-handed
- The 8th inning will be our Achilles heel

Coughing up the lead in two games over the weekend during the in the 8th inning is painting a pretty clear picture on how much we need Lilly to come back and move Gorzy back into the bullpen.

In the meantime, one week in, it's too small a sample size to make any sort of definitive opinion, but it ain't pretty so far. I get the sense this season is going to be very much like when we as kids used to download naughty pictures with our modems over the course of an hour or two - one line at a time. Sadly though, it will take far too long to determine whether this picture will of Christina Applegate or Margret Thatcher.

Reflections on Atlanta

Things we know:

- Zambrano is not, nor is he ever likely to be, our Ace
- We need Ted Lilly
- Our bullpen blows hairy donkey balls
- I am apparently, a bad Cubs fan

Things we suspect:

- Randy Wells got some cheese.
- He can pitch too
- Tylermania! is overrated, but it'll be a fun ride until it blows a tire
- Marlon Byrd can only hit home runs.

Was Atlanta bad? You betcha. Will break our season? No. Our bad bullpen will break our season. It was a bad series, magnified by the fact that it was opening weekend. Had this series happened in June, it'd still be bad, but it probably wouldn't look as bad. So really the only thing we should take away from this series is Carlos Zambrano should never pitch the opener for anything ever again.

I'm a fan. Not a f*cking idiot

So my fandom was called into question today because I was a bit sardonic about our Cubs' (specifically a certain "Ace") performance today. The tweets in question were:
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- @oneminutecubs you're getting pretty annoying.
- @oneminutecubs are you a cubs fan, or no?
- @oneminutecubs you're acting like this game is how the rest of the season is going to go. #shutup
- @oneminutecubs how about you find a new team?
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Guess what, Punky Brewster - Kiss my fuzzy ones.

Just because I don't like the performance of my team that I dedicate my mind, soul, money and heart to, doesn't mean I have to blindly find the good in it, and pretend the rest doesn't exist. It does exist, and at the moment, it was kicking me in the nuts.

I'm not so sure what I said that 349 other followers didn't care about but got your panties in a bunch. It was certainly consistent with what the rest of the twittersphere (At least the ones I follow) were saying. Mine is one of the below:

- If they're all like this / 161 more / I doubt I can take

- So...maybe Big Z is trying to get EVERY SINGLE bad play out of his system now? .......It's about time for a balk

- I'm starting to think I'll be enjoying #TheComedyOfZ this year.

- No way Z calmly walks into the dugout after this inning. So much for the new Z

So which one is mine? It must really be jumping of the page at you. Oh wait.

What it boils down to is you can be a fan, or you can be an idiot. Or in this case, both. You have a choice in this - Stop fucking following me. I will not beg, nor will I apologize. I make no secret of what I will say nor how I will say it. And 349 other people seem to get a kick out of it.

Take your lonely ass back to momma's basement and call me when you get a clue. I'll be over here at the smart kids table taking time to understand what I'm seeing, not just someone who douses their drawers when dreamy Derrek Lee hits a ball a long, long way.

Ring ring

You get a phone cal out of the blue and there's your old friend on the other end of the line, hoping to catch up with you. Hey! Whatcha been doing?

Well, we picked up a new centerfielder. Seems like a good guy. Great with kids and the best part is, his mom doesn't take interviews. We also brought back all the oldies-but-goodies, Zambrano, Lee, Ramirez, you know. The whole gang.

We miss Jake, but there's this new guy Tyler. He's a real spark plug. He put on 25 pounds over the winter, just like uncle Morty, but in an entirely different, and much less scary way. He's been hitting the bejezus out of the ball. We're not POSITIVE he can hit a curveball, but we'll find out soon enough.

We've got some new kids, John and Ezmiralda or something like that. They'll be just fine, but a little...oh let's say raw. They looked really good pitching against those first graders in AZ, so we're sure they'll be fine. How are you?

"Oh, me? Good. Making fudge."

Right.

Sleep deprived predictions and other sheep.

Baaaa...Yeah I'm freakin' tired. Couldn't sleep last night. That may skew my results and if it does, 75% of these were slated to be wrong anyway, so fahrfugnugen.

The Cubs will be an annoyingly average team this year and pound out 86 wins which will not do the job in the NL Central. The Cubs will finish 2nd in the division and 5th in the Wild Card and 12 in Miss Congeniality.

Derrek Lee will get off to his typically slow start and there will be calls for Kevin Millar to replace him except Millar will already have signed with the White Sox beacuse, well, f*ck the Cubs. Teases...

Aramis will spend approximately 36 days on the DL after his shoulder grabs a random lamp he's passing by and smacks him in the shins with it. The shoulder will receive probation and community service.

The "New" Z will spend 6 1/2 - no, not days - innings with his new persona until Soriano commits his first error of the season at around 5:00 CST in Atlanta, and then go completely Bat-Sh*t crazy for the rest of the season. He will win 26 games and come in second for Cy Young voting to Mark Grace who will pitch one perfect inning of relief during a 21 - 3 loss in a Father-Son game.

On a related note, Zambrano will also start a twitter account, @crazierthanOzzie and will pull a hamstring while tweeting about Wonder Years reruns.

Marlon Byrd will be driven out of town - by a chauffeur - whenever he flies. But that really won't make news so forget I mentioned it.

Tyler (not Durden) makes the roster.

Boy, wouldn't it be just all sunshine and roses if Tyler Colvin didn't sit on the bench for a week before he got one pinch hit opportunity and then another week, etc. You would like to think that Colvin would be able to be rotated in and out of the lineup and that all 4 outfielders would play nice, but that just won't happen.

There is no way Colvin starts 2 games per week, barring an injury or trade - hey, we can dream. Now will this turn out to be ultimately bad for the kid? Who knows. I can't imagine it'll be great. Will it irrevocably damage him or launch him into stardom? Neither will probably happen but I would argue that damage is infinitely more likely.

In a perfect world, Colvin could rotate in once for each starter once per week or every other week or so. Actually, I take that back. In a perfect world, Colvin learns to play second base, but that's another conversation.

Let's hope this roster move is more Gordon Beckham than it is Corey Patterson.

Hold on! Wait! I have an idea!

Seeing as how we're a two team radio station, let's get rid of sports talk! Yeah. There's an idea. Sounds idiotic right? Well that's just what WGN is doing -

WGN-AM recasts Kaplan as 'sports insider,' gives Laski 'Sports Central' slot

First, the y get rid of weekend sports central which, at times, tempted me to leave work early to listen. Now, weekday Sports Central. But don't worry. Kapper will still be there as a talking muppet during postgame. That is until he wakes up and heads over to ESPN or the Score.

Look, I wasn't a Kathy and Judy fan. In fact I sustained many injuries diving for the radio to turn it off. But this latest trend to turn WGN into controversial radio is just ridiculous. My DAD listens to FM radio now since Pig Vomit took over. My Dad. Until recently, I'm not sure my father realized the dial on the radio turned, WGN was such a mainstay in his truck - even Kathy and Judy lord only knows why.

Feeling the loss.

Ok. I'm a little miffed. I have stuck out my neck on a few occasions over the past few months to defend Paul Sullivan a.k.a. @PWSullivan a.k.a. What the fuck are you blocking me for??. And all that was turned on its head today by a simple little message on twitter:

"This user has blocked you from following them."

So I got curious...what could I have possibly said to add myself to the illustrious ranks of A League of Her Own, Another Cubs Blog, etc who Paul thinks don't like him?

So I went back over my Twitter feed for two months and here is my list of atrocities:

Please @PWSullivan, please stop writing about MB so every other blogger in the city can stop writing about how much they hate you. - 11:24 AM Mar 10th

Yeah we're pretty sure Lou will be managing in April too. RT @PWSullivan: Oz sez Lou will return to Cubs in 2010: http://bit.ly/bdDxHo 1:58 PM Mar 6th

@PWSullivan Tell Lou, at this point, we don't care who he hits like, just so long as he hits the damn ball. 7:46 AM Feb 27th

History is written by the winners. RT @PWSullivan: Hendry says arbitration battle vs. Theriot wasn't "adversarial." 10:40 AM Feb 20th

Bastards.. RT @PWSullivan: ESPN Classic now showing Game 6 Cubs-Marlins for Valentine's Day Heartbreakers Marathon 5:16 PM Feb 14th

@PWSullivan Do you really think it's appropriate to refer to a player on the team you cover as "The Riot"?? #tongueplantedfirmlyincheek 11:21 AM Feb 4th

@doc_blume @PWSullivan So what? Neither can Silva. 6:31 PM Feb 3rd in reply to doc_blume

# Reading/listening to @thekapman or @PWSullivan is like watching Michael Moore. As long as you go into it knowing there's an agenda... 11:02 PM Feb 1st

All due respect but WTFE RT @Aisle424: RT @anothercubsblog: Paul Sullivan is a liar http://ow.ly/1nXL19 10:38 PM Feb 1st

I'm just curious as to which on got me the hatchet? My guess is one of the two most recent -

Please @PWSullivan, please stop writing about MB so every other blogger in the city can stop writing about how much they hate you. - 11:24 AM Mar 10th

Yeah we're pretty sure Lou will be managing in April too. RT @PWSullivan: Oz sez Lou will return to Cubs in 2010: http://bit.ly/bdDxHo 1:58 PM Mar 6th

Here's the thing Chicken Little. Every time PW writes anything about Milton Bradley, a lot of bloggers that I follow go completely ApeSh*t and go off on another tangent about how PW is a horrible man and a horrible reporter, blah blah blah blah. Dude. I was just sick of reading about it.

The other reference - maybe it was a typo, but you're a reporter. You report to thousands of people. Someone's gonna call you on it. You said Lou will be managing in 2010. IT IS 2010!

I have done nothing but support PW and his right to say whatever her wants because I recognize that there's an agenda there. Most of the time his quips are funny, so I ran with it, even if it did stretch the limits of what might be considered respectable journalism in some circles. But now I'm blocked. WTF? I guess to say Paul Sullivan is thin skinned would be like saying Hitler wasn't a very nice guy.

Well guess what Paully. You jsut became my new twitter crash test dummy. I can't read ya. But I CAN reply to ya.

I Think You Are Underestimating The Amount Of Sneakiness Sir

Hey everyone guess what? Baseball's coming! It's really sneaking up on us this year. It's being Vewy vewy qwiet. Maybe it's the Blackhawks heading toward the playoffs (which I'm actually following for the first time). Maybe it's the snow on the ground. Maybe it's because there are really very few compelling stories in Spring Training this year. Whatever it is, I'm having trouble coming to grips with the fact that Baseball is 15 days away. This time last year, I was halfway through my 2009 roster breakdown. Which reminds me I should probably get going on that.

It's just one of those springs where it's just sneaking by and we're completely unaware. Or at least I am.

It could also have to do with the fact that I have no high hopes, nor low hopes for this season. I'm not really looking forward to watching a .500 team play 162 games....again. Cuz it was such a joy last year...

Bullpen? Who needs it?

Because I'm sure all of our starters will go deep into every game, you know like they used to.....back.....in the.......60's....

Anyway. Guzman's shoulder has finally packed its bags and headed home, dragging Angel behind it, so we're left with a more scary version of our bullpen including Marmol, Grabow, Caridid (for a couple weeks anyway), Marshall, and...and....Crap...

I hold out hope for John Grabow - maybe not 4 million dollars of hope, but hope. He did a pretty good job with the club last year after his acquisition. Caridad is making a good show of himself in camp this year, but it's Spring training in Arizona - not exactly a good guage for a set up man. Oh Jimmy why did you not get Putz or Capps. Either one of them would be a welcome addition to what we have now. Eh well. I'm sure it will contribute to what is destined to be a frustratingly boring and uninspired 84 win season.

But I still can't wait for baseball to start!

Chicago was a perfect fit for MB

So everyone in the world has been saying that Chicago was not the best fit for Milton. I disagree. I think Chicago was the perfect place for Milton. Here's why:

Chicago has a lot of media and fans who will listen to the sh*t dribbling out of his mouth. Heck, even now that he's gone, he's still getting airwaves on Chicago's dime. The NY Post, or Times, or whatever (it's all F'ing New York), and now ESPN are giving Milton the opportunity to continue to spout his drivel, because in Seattle, no one pays attention long enough to care. What Milton didn't realize was, he blew his load too soon.

He had a full three years to spout, and could've gone on unabated if he'd just paced himself. Ya know? Year one could've been about how uncomfortable he was, then year two, he could've brought up how no one in the club house likes him. By year three, his walk year, he could've brought up the racist hype and honestly, even after he resigned somewhere else with someone who could "change" him, he would've so incensed the crowd here he could've ridden that train until 2020 - on 20/20 no less.

Too bad we missed all that...

Spring training....meh

So Spring Training games are here at last. Words cannot express how happy I am that we can all watch and listen to live baseball again. Words cannot express it, because I simply do not care. These games don't mean anything, and I frankly stress myself out enough during the regular season, so when it comes to Spring training, I really, really don't care. Hang on. Let me try to care.

Nope. Not working. I care about Spring Training games just a hair more than rugby games in the outback between two aboriginal tribes. The only, small, incomprehensible way this affects my life in the slightest is that now the Cubs reporters are back to their full time jobs so there's more to read and digest. But honestly, I won't care until April. That's when I go all in. Wait. I think I feel some excitement building....nope false alarm. Burrito....

Maybe they won't be so bad....

Ok, let's be clear about something. The 2010 Chicago Cubs will not suck. Not like Pirates or Royals kind of sucking anyway. Cubs fans, we loves our dramas. So while we all curse and rail that this team will be so bad, yeah well, they could be worse. Far worse.

So let's be realists here. The Cubs are looking to be a probably slightly higher than .500 team at this point. And that's probably the worst of it. Not so bad that we get to really complain about it (not with any real leg to stand on anyway), but not good enough to overtake the Cardinals or possibly the Boo-hoo Crew. Our 2010 Cubbies are probably gonna be ridiculously average. And that's the really sad part. Expectations are so high after 2003, 2007, and 2008, that the "average" that would've been welcome relief in the 80's and 90's is torture in the 2000's.

I'd write more, but I'm tired and need a nap....

Zambrano's fuse....

A couple of other folks have sounded off on this piece by Danny McWhackadoodle of Chicago Tribune and WSOX fame.

Ok first of all, Danny Mac does not (nor anyone else at the southside radio station) keep secret about his baseball allegiance in this town. I can only imagine the whiplash caused by the double take when McNeal handed this piece to his editor - "You're writing about what?"

While we're on the subject, Dan McNeil ranting about someone else's temper is like Hitler saying "I don't know, that's a little harsh." Maybe we shouldn't be listening to the guy that was both suspended and fired by a certain other sports radio station within a year.

You want tantrums and general stupidity Danny? I'd suggest you tune into WSOX from 9-1 every weekday.

Today is the day!

All the off-season moves, the excitement, the wonder, the Wrigley renovations, it's all so mesmerizing. It's inspired my wife and I to plan our summer very carefully and map out everything we want to see from this year. It's so exciting and so motivating. I've got my two computers here. I'm pushing for a personal best 120 virtual waiting rooms. Everything is ready. Everything is planned for our....

2 games.

Spring is in the air...So the hell what?

This is my obligatory "Pitchers and Catchers" blog posting - everyone needs one. So here's mine. Since it's officially time to look forward to the season, here's what I'm looking forward to.

A completely forgettable season. There won't be any controversy, no great events, no horrible events. The Cubs will probably finish second or third, or whatever ain't first. There will be highs and lows. A walk-off against the Cardinals. A walk off by the Cardinals. The Sox will make us grab our ankles when they show up with Peavy, Buehrle (or whoever you spell his name - how about Bueller?), Danks, Damon, Quentin, etc.

People will talk and rant about how Zambrano is a nut case, he needs to be traded, Lee should be traded, Theriot should be traded, where's Castro, what the hell is Castro doing here, we miss the Hoff, blah blah. We will search for something to get excited about - good or bad - and the best we'll come up with will be something Carlos Silva's mom says.

Gonna be boring folks. Strap in and enjoy the virtually flat ride.

But in the meantime, here's some obscenity-laced Metallica for you:

Not so much "Presale" as it is a "sale"

The Cubs announced recently that fans will have the "opportunity" to purchase individual game tickets before everyone else during their "pre-sale" starting February 15th at 10am and going through noon on Feb 18th. For the privilege of buying tickets before everyone else, you need only pay 20% above face value. Ok - a couple of things:

1. If everyone can buy tickets during the "pre-sale", it's a SALE. Just call it what it is. There's not unique opportunity here. Everyone is invited. If you want the good seats, you gotta pay the good prices.

2. There's a business model that generates profit by inflating ticket prices of good seats and selling them above face value. It's called "scalping". Once again call it what it is.

Long story short - either fans are getting screwed or fans are getting screwed. Either you pay the inflated prices for the good games. Or you pay the regular prices for the games nobody cares about. Oh wait, they already have that in the tier system. So wait. I'm confused.

Long story short, I've only heard about the Cubs doing this which means they're the only franchise with the balls to try and pull it off. It's sad that withholding my money is the only way to protest which only means I'm depriving myself of the experience while 20,000,000 other lackeys step into my place.

I fought the law, and I won....

I apologize to all my readers, er ok, both my readers, but this is neither "one minute" nor Cubs.

Shawn Wasson, a.k.a. "The News Junkie" was broadcasting his usual show on Saturday morning. He was reporting a story in which a principal sent a student home for wearing the wrong jersey to school. According to Wasson, The principal singled the student out in class, berated the student publicly, then denied the student his education by sending him home for supporting the wrong team. He and I needed to have a chat - Email sent:

Greetings News Junkie,

I happened across your radio program on my lunch break earlier, and unfortunately, did not have time to call in - 30 minutes just isn't as long as it used to be. You were discussing the merits of a principal sending home a 17 year old student for wearing a Colts jersey on Black and Gold day. So I found the following story, and wanted to comment on your position:

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,584975,00.html?test=latestnews

First of all, while requiring student to wear uniforms is not a popular stance among the students, one could easily argue that wearing standard uniforms in an academic environment is considered a normal practice by schools across the country. The theories behind adherence to a dress code range from child safety to student focus on curriculum. Whether or not the practice of a dress code policy is right or not is not in question here. The problem comes when the school relaxes those policies for whatever reason.

According to the news article, "A Livingston Parish School Board member said Frost wasn't sent home, but was told he couldn't wear the blue jersey at school. Keith Martin, whose district includes Maurepas, said the school uniform had been relaxed only for black and gold."

Please note the two phrases - "Frost wasn't sent home" and "the school uniform had been relaxed only for black and gold". It is not uncommon for schools to allow "Dress down days" or similar practices for special events such as fundraisers, sports teams, school spirit, etc. In this case, the school relaxed their policies to support the New Orleans Saints team in the Super bowl. The school did not require any student to wear the Saints' colors. It offered them the option.

The article goes on -
"According to Martin, a friend of Brandon Frost's had asked Vampran on Thursday whether Brandon could wear a Colts jersey, and had been told "no."" - self explanatory

"During a class on Thursday, Frost said, he talked about his plans to wear his jersey rather than Saints colors. He said the teacher warned him he'd get in trouble." - Self explanatory. He's been told no twice.

"Larry Frost said he didn't know about that when Brandon asked Thursday whether he could wear the jersey. He said he told his son to come home if he was hassled too much." - Sounds like Dad is the one sending him home.

"Brandon Frost said Vampran called him out of his first class Friday and told him, "I don't recall saying you could wear a Colts jersey on Black-and-Gold Day."" - 100% accurate. The Principal did not say the student could wear "any jersey". - Please note "Called him out of his class" - he did not confront the student in front of other students as you suggested on your show.

""He started to get angry with me," Frost said. "I thought I remember him saying, 'If you like Indiana so much, why don't you go back?"'" What? You mean a principal got upset when a student - who had already been told he was wrong twice - started mouthing off to him about a jersey. I particularly like the sentence "I thought I remember him saying..." You mean as opposed to "You're going to have to change shirts"?

Then Dad, decides to call the ACLU about this affront to his son's free speech. This isn't free speech. This is a t-shirt. This is a dress code. Even the ACLU doesn't want to take that one on.

I could frankly go on and on, but at the end of the day, when you send your child to school, you are not buying "an education". You are paying for the teachers to dispense knowledge at a facility. This facility has rules and regulations for a reason. Flagrant disregard of these rules make for a hostile learning environment. Teachers have a hard enough time teaching. Telling 17 year old kids that they do not have to honor those rules that are put place to facilitate learning only leads to a breakdown in the learning process - more so than asking a kid to change his shirt or go home.

I am willing to concede that perhaps the principal did say the remark about going back to Indiana, only because as the article state, he acknowledged that he should not have done so. If so, that was wrong. But not ACLU wrong. However inappropriate, I can only guess what equally inappropriate/downright offensive things the student in questions must've said in the exchange. You'll notice those quotes were left out of the paper.

Bottom line: even if this dress code policy was not written down or set in stone, two things remain clear:
1. The student was told no, 2 1/2 times. Twice in school, and one half when the father admitted that there may be trouble. While he didn't say it wasn't allowed, granting permission to come home if there's trouble seems to be at least a tacit acknowledgement that this is not - for lack of better words - "a good idea"

2. The student clearly violated the spirit of the rule. Black and gold day was clearly meant to celebrate the home town's team and their accomplishment. Not only did the student violate that rule, he completely went in the opposite direction. I somehow think that if the students were told to wear school colors, and this student wore something not in the school colors and he were sent home, this would not be an issue.

This was a 17 year old kid flagrantly violating a rule, and being allowed to do so by his parents, the neighborhood, the newspaper, and the ACLU. Clearly THAT is the wrong message to be sending - not "my team is better than yours".

Hey you, Ryan, yeah you. Come here....

What are you an idiot? Sullivan might think so. (couldn't resist) You're going up against the Cubs in arbitration? Did you know I'm a psychic? You're gonna lose. Badly. And you'll be a not-so-happy-go-lucky plucky, scrappy little infielder. You'll be a bitter angry upset little infielder and you'll still have a rag arm, but you won't be as aww-shucks-like.

Don't get me wrong kid - you're kinda cute in a "I won't throw the puppy out in the cold unless he chews my mattress" kinda way. But beyond that, you're a slap hitter and an average fielder. Not exactly the gateway to Jeterdom ya know?

So lighten up kid. You're gonna lose, and lose bad. Take whatever bone the Cubs are throwin' ya and run away like a bandit, because that is probably the best steal you'll get all year without being picked off.

This is yet another example of the written word that I wish could be spoken word because it comes off in my head so much better than it looks.

An open letter to WGN RE: Steve Cochran

Dear WGN,

This Blackhawks season has brought to light something that concerns me. Something that I'm afraid will continue into the Cubs season. It seems whenever a sports team who broadcasts on WGN has a game following Steve's show, for whatever reason Steve Cochran is given the go-ahead to broadcast remotely from that location. It would seem that along with that permission also comes permission to drink heavily, become an ass, and generally become less funny than he is on a normal night - no easy feat.

Just why Steve is given the green-light to drink like a catholic priest just before a courtroom appearance while on the air is a mystery, but when the listener can't tell who's further under the table - the host, or Bobby Hull - that's a problem.

Since we're on the topic, if there's any other way to reduce the frequency of the daily 6:30 "Steve's not-as-funny-as-me friends" segments featuring Patti Vasquez and Mark DeCarlo or the bi-weekly Wine "Diva" visits with the same dipsh*ts calling and asking the same dipsh*t questions ("No you should not drink the red wine that's been sitting in your attic since 1692.") it'd be very much appreciated.

I'd go on, but Steve just said something that made me throw up in my mouth a little bit.

Love,
OMC