New Sherrif in town...

So, here come the Ricketts, the mighty Riiiiicketts...Ok, I've been watching too much hockey. So can I just tell you how excitied I am to have the Ricketts family owning the Cubs? This morning I woke up - and that's about the same amount of excitement.

I still don't get why everyone seems to think this Ricketts deal is the big turnaround we've all been waiting for. I don't. His name ain't Steinbrenner. It's not even Cuban. Even God wouldn't dump millions and millions into this team. The Cubs are in the top 5 for payroll already - they should be winning now, but they're not. More of the same is not going to help. Playing fundamentally sound baseball will help - and history is not on our side on this point.

Good luck Ricketts. I for one do not expect you to balloon the payroll, or spend just for the sake of spending. Everyone else in the known universe does. Just make sure you let everyone down easy.

And don't even THINK about keeping Bradley.

2009 Wrap up

A .500 team. A 140 million dollar .500 team. That pretty much sums it up. A disastrous offseason that lead to a mediocre season. Every time the Cubs threatened to grab a respectable hold on a +.500 record, they quickly squashed that dream with another losing streak. It was almost funny.

The GOOD news is, Jimmy-boy only signed one ridiculously bad contract. Had he dumped money into 3-4 bad contracts - well, then we have some serious issues. Fortunately, only "The Mistake" is destined to not earn a single dollar we'll be paying him next year.

Yeah. THAT'S the good part. Coming up, we'll be looking at some potential moves to be made. We'll continue breaking down the 2009 roster. We'll anxiously wait with baited breath to see what player Jim Hendry managed to win a bidding war against himself for. And we'll hope he doesn't share a name with a popular board game company.

More minutes to come.

2009 End of Season Roster

Updated daily until the World Series -ish.

Roster #1- Carlos Zambrano - Everyone except those who matter wants this guys gone. Fortunately, the ones who matter are right.
Roster #2 - Aramis Ramirez - Once again proving he's the most clutch hitter on the team. Almost an RBI per game. Sick.
Roster #3 - Carlos Marmol - 12 balls followed by 9 strikes. Named closer next year in an attempt to get it down to 8 balls before 3 K's.
Roster #4 - Ryan Dempster - Considering his daughter lived in a hopital through June, 11 wins is freakin' awesome. You are hard core.
Roster #5 - Ted Lilly - Had an "off year", leading the team in wins. The best starter for the last 4 years. Only All Star, well deserved.
Roster #6 - Mike Fontenot - Ladies and gentlemen, your 2009 starting second baseman - unfortunately. Get used to pinch-hitting.
Roster #7 - Reed Johnson - Good for one spectacular catch in April, then decent play the rest of the year. Still thinks he can bunt.
Roster #8 - Alfonso Soriano - Leg fell off in May, didn't tell anyone until September. Going to be here a while - get used to it.
Roster #9 - Milton Bradley - "The Mistake" Period. End of list. Can't get out of town fast enough. And take your lying-ass mom with you.
Roster #10 - Derrek Lee - Slow start, then took off like a rocket and didn't look back. Almost enough to carry the team. Almost.
Roster #11 - John Grabow - With Guzman and Marmol, he completes a deadly trio. And guess what Lou, HE'S LEFT HANDED!
Roster #12 - Kevin Gregg - Don't worry Gregg. I'm sure the 7 blown saves, 4.79 ERA and 13 HR's won't affect your contract opportunities.
Roster #13 - Rich Harden - Only starter to pitch almost the entire season. Missed 2 weeks b/c we all forgot he was supposed to be injured.
Roster #14 - Kosuke Fukudome - Much more consistent this year. Still spins like a top at the plate when he's off. Still a waste of money.
Roster #15 - Randy Wells - Spot starter ends up leading the team in wins. Can you say Wally Pipp?
Roster #16 - Geovany Soto - Duuuuude. You like totally got major muchies last year. No more twinkies. Let's hope you weren't a 1 hit wonder.
Roster #17 - Aaron Miles - Even Mendoza thinks you suck.
Roster #18 - Ryan Theriot - When Piniella says "Drive the ball" from now on your first thought should be "Which car should I take?".
Roster #19 - Koyie Hill - I have it on good authority that he once threw out Jesus trying to steal a base - with 1 hand. Hard freakin' core.
Roster #20 - Jeff Baker - Rumor has it, the Cubs have asked him to change his last name to "DeRosa".
Roster #21 - Sean Marshall - Dear Sean, you're a bullpen pitcher and the sooner you get that through your head the better off you'll be.
Roster #22 - Tom Gorzelanny - Not as hard to spell as Samardzija, but close. Is hoping to rehash his 2006 not-too-shabbiness.
Roster #23 - Aaron Heilman - We just found out why two teams didn't want him last year. Decent 11th bullpen guy,
Roster #24 - Angel Guzman - Wants to change his name to "marmol" and move into the setup slot. Welcome. Stay healthy and it's yours.
Roster #25 - David Patton - I had to google him to make sure he was still a Cub. Elvis was seen more often at Wrigley than this guy.

Honorable Mentions:
Micah Hoffpauir - Still the hoff, but no longer capitalized. Hitting .239 will do that.
Jake Fox - Think Pedro Serano. If you make the mistake of throwing a fastball, he'll hit the piss out of it. If not....
Sam Fuld - Quickly replacing Reed Johnson as the fans' favorite backup outfielder.
Bobby Scales - Proved without a doubt that he can only play on dirt, not grass.
Andres Blanco - Made the play of the year. Couldn't get to 1st base in a women's prison with a fist full of pardons.

Predicitons vs. Reality

This is almost comical, but here we go -

Predictions vs Reality

Total wins - Predicted - 94

Wow...that was a laugher. Knowing the issues facing this team going in, I only trimmed 3 wins off their record. Sheesh. The boys ended with a ridiculous 83 wins.

1st NL Central by 5 games

Ok, I didn't expect the Cubs to be a remarkably 500 as they were, but nobody saw St. Louis coming. And by nobody, I mean really nobody. Cubs ended up diown by 7.5 games, remarkably still in second place.

Team Batting Average - .264

I wasn't too far off on this, all things considered. The Cubs could hit just fine. It was situational hitting where they failed, spectacularly, every single freakin' day...Anyway. .255.

Milton Bradley games - 96

Let's add a caveat here - I should've said Milton Bradley full games. He ended up with 124 games, BUT he pinch hit 16 times, which brings the total down to 108. Add to that the 15 days he SHOULD'VE spent on the DL at the beginning of the season, but for Jim Hendry's pride, and the total is down to 93. However, Jimmy did finally sack up and suspend "The Mistake", so 108 sounds right, and only 12 more than I thought.

Fukudome games - 100

Fuky appeared in 146 games this year, but again, only started 129. Bear in mind that Fuky was consistently average this year, with the ups not nearly as up, and the downs not nearly, thankfully, as down. So he got more starts - still a waste of money.

Rich Harden Starts - 24

Rich was the only Cubs starter to pitch a full season, until he was shut down in Mid-September. Considering most of the civilized world thought he'd be having shoulder surgery in June, that's remarkably consistent. He started 26 games. Boo yah.

Rich Harden Starts of 7+ innings - 5

5. Boo yah. One freakin' predicition thus far. Yippee for freakin' me.

Over/under 200 innnings for starters -
Dempster - over
Lilly - over
Zambrano - over
Harden - under
Marshall - under

DL stints affected my three overs and with 200, 177, and 169.1 respectively, I gotta say I whiffed on all three of those. Marshall and Harden - shocker of all shockers didn't climb over 145. Next year I'll make it more challenging and set it at 185.

No surprises there.

Home Runs -
The Hoff - 13 9

Initially predicted 13, then switched it to 9. He ended up with 10. Minor league stint didn't help his numbers. Nor did his .239 BA.

Bradley - 25

"The Mistake" managed only 12 home runs. Out slugged by Aramis "82 games" Ramirez. Nice job dipsh*t.

Lee - 20

Lee made a strong comeback this year after breaking his wrist 2 years ago. Finished the year with a team-leading 35. He may be back ladies and gents. But remember, and I will next year too - he's a slow starter.

Ramirez - 33

Only played in 82 games, and hit 15. Multiply that by 2 - that's 30. So I was close.

Soriano - 35

Dude, "manning up" does not always mean playing hurt. Sometimes it takes a bigger man to acknowledge that you're not helping your team. You only hit 20 HR and overall sucked worse than you usually did, and I suspect it was largely because you could barely walk for 4 out of 6 months.

Fontenot - 23

This is such a f*cking joke it's barely worth the bandwidth.

Soto - 19

Pot smokin' hippie. Stay of the green stuff and drop another 35 pounds. No more twinkies.

Yes, Fontenot will have more home runs than Lee. - see above comment.

Starters ERA - 4.25
Relievers ERA - 3.85

These two eras are all over the place with all the spot starting etc. Let's put it this weay, for the bulk of the season, starting pitching was NOT the problem.
For the first couple of months, the bullpen was a HUGE problem, but even they got their crap together come August-ish.

Marmol ERA - 2.49

Marmol would've been fine if he hadn't gotten so upset about not being made closer. I don't suspect that was his whole problem, but it was a lot of it. Given the fact that he consistently walked the bases loaded before striking out the side, his 3.41 ERA is a blessing.

Gregg ERA - 3.15

I guess, I really can't explain what I was thinking. Maybe I assumed that Hendry couldn't have had a total clusterf*ck of an offseason and at least ONE move had to have worked out and maybe you wouldn't be that bad. God that was freakin' dumb. 4.72 - Nuff said.

Runs Per Game - 4.89

Off by .5 run - 4.39. Lost way too many games with a 1 or 2 run differential.

Runs Allowed Per Game - 4.35

I was actually really close on this one - 4.17. As I said, the pitching was for the most part, not the problem.

One Run games W - 59%

.421 - I didn't count on having such a crappy bullpen at the start of the year, and a crappy closer for the rest of it.

Home Wins - 52

46

Road Wins - 42

37

Once again, off by 11 games - they had to come from somewhere. Cubs gave away a lot of games, both home and road. Their overall record speaks for itself.

So that's it. Of all the prediations I made, I was only right about Rich Freakin' Harden. Good for me. Stay tuned for the season wraps in the coming months.

Acceptance?

So everyone everywhere is now talking aobut how the Cubs have been "officially" eliminated from playoff contention as of the Rockies win last night (vs. the Boo-hoo Crew no less), and now it's time to accept that it will be 102 years....blah blah blah.

Ok, saying that the Cubs have been "officially" eliminated is like having a 113 year old man diagnosed with pheumonia and saying "Oh my God! He's going to die!" Put another, more sensitive way - it's not like this is a shock to anyone. Now, we'll examine the why's and the how's of it later, but honestly, I threw in the towel back in July, when it became evident that against greater-than-mediocre teams, the Cubs just panicked and buried thier heads in the sand and hoped to not get swept. Even when they touched first place briefly in August, you knew, if they managed to hold it, that they were doomed to another 3 and out performance.

So honestly folks, let's put aside our "shock" and "numbness" that the Cubs have failed - again - and move on to more surprising things. I understand the sky is blue today. Let's all take a minute and look at it.

Blackouts...

Dagnabbit. I was just thinking to myself that MLB.TV would be a nice christmas present to myself. Watch the games at work, or on the computer when my wife want's to watch something else. Heck, watch them on the netbook while at starbucks, or wherever. I even have a friend in Detroit who can get the package for me, use their CC and they'll have THAT zip code. Sadly though, IP address is used to determine your location as well. But I could use a proxy server to alter my IP address, and maybe I could get around it that way.

Bottom line - if anyone is willing to go to these measures to watch games on their computers, maybe MLB should wake up to the 21st century and re-think this Blackout BS.

Does MLB really think that anyone in the world would rather watch a baseball game on their 8" netbook rather than a 40" plasma? Really? IF IT WAS AN OPTION, WE WOULDN'T NEED MLB.TV.

What a frustrating minute.

A message to the NLC Champ Cardinals and their fans.

Burn in hell, you rat bastards.

No seriously, I'll say congratulations to you in the same way I said it to the White Sox in '05 - I'm flipping you off behind my back the entire time. You made the right moves, specifically Holliday (I'm personally convinced the DeRosa trade was just to make our lives hell), and took advantage of a sad-sack Cubs team (who now seems to be playing well, now that there's no pressure - thanks a freakin' lot) and got into the post-season.

Right now, I'm going to ask you to kiss something. Take a wild guess.

Another phone call

This one will be made around the end of November

"Hi Milt, It's Jim. Yeah, so I wanted to let you know, I'm having a heck of a time moving your contract. It's not you, but...ok, well yeah it is you, but the money doesn't help either. So anyway, I got an offer from the Rangers that if I pay 19 million, they'll take you back. Oh really? I'm glad to hear that you'd be happy with that move. Here's the thing though. I talked to Crane and we're actually going to go ahead and turn that down. Instead, you're going to sit on your little butt there and watch other teams play baseball. You will not see a live pitch thrown at you for the next two years. You won't even remember where your glove is by the time this contract runs out. But don't worry Milt. I'm sure two years sitting on the shelf will not affect your free-agency when you turn the young age of 33 in 2012. Oh and by the way, we're gonna fly you in here every once in a while so you can hold a press conference and talk with the media that will undoubtedly miss you so much.

Oh you don't like that option huh? Well gee that's too bad because you know we have this contract here, and boy oh boy if only there was a way that you didn't have to stay under our control for the next two years. Yeah, I sure wish there was a way for someone to, oh I don't know, opt out of a contract or something.

Huh. Well anyway Milty-boy. We're sending you over a case of Margarita mix since that's all you'll have to do for the next two years. I appreciate your time Milt and thank you so much for everything you've done already."

Really? Really?

The player's Union is considering challenging "The Mistake's" Suspension. First of all, if Chris De Luca's report:

The real reason behind Milton Bradley's suspension: Clubhouse dustup with coach Von Joshua had as much to do with it as the negative talk.

is accurate, then Milt is lucky he only got suspended. Second, if I'm Jimmy, here's my phone call to Milt.

"Hey Milt. So, I'm told the Players' Association is considering filing a grievance. Tell ya what buckaroo, consider it lifted. Yes, absolutely. Get on a plane and fly your happy little buns back to Milwaukee. You will spend the next two weeks sitting in uniform on a bench watching how a real team plays. You will travel with us, and you will talk to the press for as long as they want. Every day. Don't bring your glove or bat - you won't need them. You will be riding the pine for the rest of the season, but you won't be suspended. Be carefull how you walk though, because if you so much as stub your toe, I will put you on the DL so fast your head will spin and maybe that third year won't be so much of a guarantee.

So what do you think Milt? You wanna just stay suspended? Yeah. I thought you might."

And for the alst time this season -

Bobby Abreu watch - .295/.394/.429/.823

Boy..thank God we didn't sign THAT guy at 3/30

Get-Rid-Of-Milt-Athon

Last night, I was reading my buddy Bruce over at the Daily Herald and I see this line pouring out of The Mistake's mouth - "...and you can see why they haven't won in 100 years here."

Believe me this got a blog post going in my head. Something like "F^ck you. F^uck your mom for forgetting to take her pill. F^ck your dad for not drowning you at birth..." You know...something like that. But then I realized - that would just be negative, and lord knows we can't let Milty-poo hear any negativity. Noooooo. So I decided to start a cause - the Get-Rid-Of-Milt-Athon. Here's how it works.

I'm sure, if Tommy Ricky asked, he could find 2 million people who would each be willing to donate $10 raise the $20 million we'd need to cut Milt loose and still retain enough financial flexibility to make the signings we need. So, on Twitter, I started the cause. You can tweet your pledges (in $10 increments) to @onetwittedcubs
to get Milt the heckle out of town.

Naturally, right now this is all informal. No ACTUAL money will change hands, it's more of a scenario, but I'd be interested to see how much we could raise. Heck, if it's enough - I could always email Jimmy.

So pledge now! Rid yourself of an underachieving, whiny, cry-baby of a right fielder - no, not THAT one. We already got Jerry Hairston for him...

If I were GM Part III

So there's all this talk aobut, OMG, what are we gonna do this offseason? How do we trade for? Who do we sign? There's still 6 weeks left here folks. What do we do now? On more accurately, what do we do come September 1?

Simple. If the Cubs are within 4 games of first place - not completely impossible, then it's business as usual. Call up a few guys, but for the most part, stick with the core, plus The Hoff and ReJo. That way, we're shooting to make up one game per week to make for an exciting final week. Once we get to the psot season, we'll have our A##es handed to us, but that's another blog.

The last 4 weeks, with the exception of the Cardinals, Sox and Giants we don't even get to play spoiler. Just 3 weeks of really sadly meaningless games.

Which is why I propose the following if the Cubs find themselves 4.5+ out of first.

1. Platoon A-Ram and Fox every other day at third. A-Ram ain't healed yet.
2. Get Fox behind the plate - he may be a viable candidate for catcher. Wouldn't mind him seeing more time at first either.
3. Platoon The Hoff and Sorry-I-Suck in Left. Hoff will need the playing time and AB's, and Soriano, like it or not - we're stuck with him for another 5 years, so lets do our best to keep him healthy.
4. Call up Samardzija and go with a 6 man rotation - Zambrano, Lilly, Dempster, Harden, Gorzelanny, Samardzija. This will ease the strain on the starting staff and allow Gorzy and Sammy to audition for the #5 spot for next year.

That's all I got for now.

If I were GM Part Deux

This offseason can be ruled a success with relatively few moves, and that's a really good thing because there are few moves the Cubs can realistically make.

Kapper starts off his assumptions that the Ricketts will eat salary and move Milt. While that wouldn't be an entirely bad thing, depending on the move, let's not make that assumption and assume instead that what you see is what you get.

And that means the following positions are filled:

1B - Lee
2B/SS - Theriot
2B/SS - Vacancy
3B - Ramirez
LF - Sorry-I-Suck
CF - Johnson/Fuku
RF - Bradley
Catcher - Soto

SP1 - Zambrano
SP2 - Lilly
SP3 - Dempster
SP4 - Wells
SP5 - Gorzy/Samarjy/Marshall/Vacancy

Closer - Marmol/See Below
Setup - Guzman/Grabow/See Below
Bullpen - Heilman + above, et.al.

The biggest gamble from a starting position perspective was "Can Fontenot produce the numbers he produced as a part-timer as a full timer?" with the answer being a resounding Heckle-me Elmo NO!. So, there's a hole there and IMHO, the biggest need on the team. Releasing Harden to Free Agency allows this hole to be filled by one of the following names in order of preference - Orlando Hudson, Marco Scutaro, Freddy Sanchez, Mark DeRosa, Miguel Tejada, or David Eckstein. Now, because all of these gents will soon be receiving their baseball AARP cards, here are the take it or leave it offers made to these boys -

Any of the top 3 would be offered 3 years at 4-8 mil/year.

Marco Scutaro - Solid hitter, some power, and he does it in the AL East - 4 Mil is 4 times his current salary

Orlando Hudson - Switch-hitting Freddie Sanchez - 5 mil is 2 more than this year, but not quite his peak. 4th option year

Freddie Sanchez - Solid hitter, minimal power - He'll cost 8 mil AT LEAST. Listed third because of cost. 4th option year

Mark DeRosa - 2 years/5-6 mil - 4th on the list because the legend of DeRo will never be as good as DeRo. Plus he's 35.

Miguel Tejada - 1 year, 5-6 mil - Solid hitter, Power hitter, but by his own admission maybe isn't great for SS any more. He will likely laugh at this offer.

David Eckstein - In lieu of Ryan Theriot, I'd have loved to have this guy on our team 6 years ago. But, since we have a Ryan Theriot, he's really not necessary and is last on the to-do list - 1 year/3 mil. - 3 times his current salary.

Now, for the fun picks - Above, I mentioned Marmol would be the provisional closer, one guy could not be had - Jose Valverde. Quite possibly the scariest man to ever don a baseball uniform. I'd love to have him closing games and Marmol will just have to realize that the 7th inning is just as important, if not more important than the 9th.

Finally, one last fun pick. I wouldn't mind, but won't get in an uproar if it doesn't happen, taking one last shot at Nomar in a backup 3rd base/first base role. Solid serviceable bat and good defender - just right for those times that Lee or Rami need a nap.

Now the touchy issue I know Kapper will hate. Leave the starting rotation alone. Zambrano when he's on - and I know that's a huge if - can go toe to toe with anyone. Dempster and Lilly can face down any #2's or 3's, and Randy Wells over the season, despite the length of service, hasn't gotten caught up to yet. At that point, I'd go with Gorzy (big asterisk here based on the rest of his body of work for this season) for the #5 slot keeping 2 lefties in the rotation. Marshall goes to the pen when he's frankly better suited and spot starts as necessary.

If Zambrano proves again that he just can't hack it as a #1, then see who's available come July.

Bear in mind, we are working on a budget here, and Lackey made 10 mil last season. So there ya have it. I may change my mind tomorrow, but that's what I got.

If I were GM...Part I

So Kapper, the ultimate Cubs fan, seems to have thrown in the towel. Already talking about next season. And well he should be. The Cubs are pretty much toast now, so yes, let's play Hendry for a few moments. Here's his actual tweet:

@thekapmanLatest post up on Kap's Corner. You play Cubs GM. Best plan wins dinner! Tweet this out to all your Cubs fan friends! http://bit.ly/1cg3ss

challenge accepted.

I'm gonna mull this one a bit, but names are already floating around like Sanchez, Tejada, Pinero, Lackey...hmm...Watch for this to come next couple of days...

This one is a toss up

So we can't go to San Diego without pointing out the following correlation -
Step 1. Cubs want to be more left handed.
Step 2. Henry Blanco ain't, but he IS a mentor to Geo Soto
Step 3. Henry goes elsewhere
Step 4. Geo Sucks.

So HEndry obviously dropped the ball right? I sure as heck know _I_ made this argument a couple of times. However - hindsight is 20-20 - even the strongest Blanco lovers have to admit, there is no way in hell that Henry Blanco catches 26 games in a row when Geo goes on the DL for smoking, er I mean his side.

Koyie Hill has been a serviceable backup. I would argue that over a season, I would probably rather have Hank White as a backup, but for a 1 month stretch of not having Jake Fox behind the plate, Hill will do.

Really, this one is a coin toss.

Excuses abound.

To follow up on this twitter post -

August 19th - Musky the Cub's blog - "8/19 Hendry: "It's 'whatever it takes' time" - Except of course actually doing anything...

The following was posted as a comment on the blog - just bringing it here to share as well.

It's whatever it takes time, but when the questions come about what does it take, he points to the field. Oh no, _I_ can't do anything of course! It's the players! THEY have to do whatever it takes. I certainly can't be expected to pick up a veteran leader with closing experience. No, I'll just let him trot down to St. Louis along with everyone else in the world...cough...DeRosa...cough...Holliday...cough.

See folks - this is the difference between action, and sad-sack excuses. You do not get a pass Jimmy b/c you put together a 97 game winner LAST year. If anything, you're MORE under the microscope.

Jim Hendry has just morphed from good GM to donut-munching moron.

I'd suggest Jim, that you avoid the press and keep your head down until you're officially fired this off season - about the only positive thing that'll come about from this ownership situation.

Is it over?

Weeeeeeeellllllll...

It ain't good. With the Cardinals showing no signs of slowing down and the Cubs playing - well like they are it doesn't look too good. Keeping in mind that only 12 of the last 50 games this season are against teams that are above .500, there is a chance that they might back into the playoffs. Once they get there? Well, the 83 win Cardinals jump to mind, but frankly here's what would have to happen - we're going to assume that somehow the Cubs get to the post season - for the Cubs to win.

1. Zambrano wouldh ave to stay sane for a solid three weeks.
2. Harden would have to stay whole for a whole 3 weeks.
3. Dempster would have to throw strikes for a whole three weeks
4. Lilly would pretty much just have to be the Lilly we've all seen.

Plus.

5. Soriano would have to stop swinging at pretty much any breaking pitches.
6. Lee would have to be Lee of May/June, not April or July
7. Ramirez would have to remember how to hit after October 1.
8. Bradley would have to not be the guy he's been all year.

That's a lot of not sucking. But hey, I'm a Cubs fan. That whole blind-optimism thing is kinda how we roll..

A picture's worth

"So let's see here, 50 games left this year, plus the off season, then 45 days of Spring training and another 162 games next year, minus 4-5 ejections, I figure I've got about 300 games left of this BS before I go to the Yankees..."

Just for fun, Lou switches between calculating the number of games and the number of calendar days left on his contract. Sometimes, he figures out hours, but he needs a calculator for that.

Unmasked

Hey! This guy -


You're kind of an a-hole. You've done the near-impossible and actually given Cubs fans a worse reputation than they already had. On ESPN. You stupid barrel of monkey spunk. Don't go to any more games. Don't wear that ugly-ass hat. You're not welcome here. We don't serve your kind. There's plenty of room in that park 8 miles South for degenerates. Have fun - they actually have a chance of not sucking this year.

And the sunglasses - really? Are those like Marty McFly specials? Really? Looking forward to that Tron release?

Knock Knock. Who's there? Opportunity...

Is John Smoltz this year's Jim Edmonds? With Carlos Zambrano chatting up his buds off in DL Central, Lilly out of the picture for another couple of weeks, Samard-however the heck you spell his name-our only option for starter #5, and Kevin Gregg's recent issues. Umm...Anyone know where we might be able to pick up a servicable 5th starter with elite closing experience?

Granted Smoltz isn't at the top of his game, but to be fair, Smoltz at 75% is better than many options the Cubs have right now. Jim Edmonds was released from the weakest hitting team in baseball last year and still came over and made a solid difference - didn't excactly wipe the floor with anyone, but he was definitely a difference-maker and more than once. Besides, he'd be a good band-aid to cover the #5 starter slot. As long as he doesn't allow 20 runs per game, who cares who the #5 starter is? And if he does, have a nice day.

Not to mention Smoltz might be the veteran leader, coming from a winning tradition, who might be able to get this team all on the same page.

And he's cheap. Is he left handed by chance? No silly. If he was, he'd already be signed...

You're the manager - Manage

Say what you want about Gregg - and beleive me the twittersphere has been SAYING things - At least he took responsibility last night:

"Two pitches. Twenty-five guys put together great efforts, and [because of] two pitches we walk out of here losing."

That about sums it up. But here's a couple of other quotes -

"He's the manager; you do what he says," Dempster said of Piniella...

and

"I don't know. I don't make those decisions." (about calling up BJ Ryan from AAA) and - this one's my favorite - "Why should I?" When asked if maybe Piniella might consider the possibility of changing Gregg's role as closer.

Right now, it seems like most of this team is padding themselves so when the inevitable crash comes, it won't be on them. Hey, I'm just a player. I listen to the manager. Hey I'm just the manager, I listen to the General Manager. Kiss my purple pimpled butt. But we'll get more into that later.

Look, at this point, you may as well leave Gregg. Marmol can't close the Dutch, let alone a major league team. Guzman, while he's shown dominating stuff at times, has no experience and isn't as consistent and one would need. Heilmann - shoot I almost got that out with a straight face.

Maybe Ryan will be the answer later - not now. But I wouldn't mind seeing him up here soon. Meantime, don't call for firing someone until you have someone else step up. GRegg gets just a touch more rope to hang himself with. After that, we'll need to talk a bit more.