Thursday, July 30, 2009

Pirates sell off everything, including the kitchen sink...Literally

The Pittsburgh Pirates have completed all transactions from the 2009 season, because they have nothing left to sell. After completing their latest trade of Freddy Sanchez to the Giants for a prospect and an old gym sock, Pirates GM Neal Huntington received a call from owner Robert Nutting.

"Neal, I'm out here on the golf course and I heard that we've sold off everything but the kitchen sink. Why is that sink still on our payroll?"

Hours later, Eric's Plumbing Gurus showed up at the Pirates clubhouse to remove the sink, affectionately known as "Drippy" and ship it off to Toronto in a deal for a Player To Be Named Later + 19.95 shipping and handling.

"It was tough to part with Drippy, but some really famous hands have been washed in that old girl - Barry Bonds, Freddy Sanchez, Aramis Ramirez, and of course the big R.C. They've all been traded away of course, but they used to."

Sources say Roy Halladay was excited about the move and couldn't wait to wash his hands in Drippy, preferably before the trade deadline.

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