Thursday, December 31, 2009

Jim Hendry flips the Byrd to Chicago

I'm really just posting this because I didn't want to be scooped on the headline. MAybe in a bit, I'll have something substantive to write. For now, while I believe Marlon Byrd will be an upgrade over the "Fuld/Colvin/Johnson" alternative, I still beleive that money is getting used up where it should be put toward Hudson or Tejada, each of which would be more of an upgrade over Baker/Fontenot/Theriot.

In the meantime though, I have an awesome headline, so I'll be content with that.

Monday, December 21, 2009

I just don't get it

So I was thinking to myself - why are people so up in arms about this Bradley thing that they're upset that we traded him for Silva? So I tried to put an argument together. See boths sides. I could see people rightly thinking that, unlike Silva, Bradley has a much better chance of producing, the Cubs are a statistically weaker team now, and over the past two years, Bradley at his worst far surpassed Silva at his best. Good arguments. But there's one thing that fans don't seem to get but 29 other GM's knew for a fact.

Bradley would never ever do anythi ng productive while wearing a Cubs uniform. Ever. Done. Dead man walking. The ship has sailed. There are too many burned bridges. Actually they weren't burned. They were nuclear testing grounds. Only vapor is left.

Let's say the entire city of Chicago got a mega dose of prozac and was suddenly totally cool with him. Hendry, the Ricketts, the fans, the other Cubs players all said "Hey man, it's cool." What exactly - be specific and cite your sources - about Bradley's personalityt makes you think he's the forgive and forget type? Give me one shred of evidence. I dare you. HE was just as done with us, as we were with him. And nothing Jimmy did would ever convince anyone - fans, team, other GM's included - that this was not the case. No bluffing, no signing big deals, no throwing fatted calfs over the castle walls. Nothing.

You cannot complain that he's still here, then complain when he's gone. You only get to complain about one or the other. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go get Marlon Byrd's welcome reception ready...

P.S. Jim - don't make me put up the "Hudson Watch" in 2010.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Dumb A$$ Things People Have Said About the Cubs 2010 Season

Like our predecessor, constantly updated:

Quote: Hendry on Bradley: "No one could have really predicted how it turned out." Except of course, you know, everybody...

Headline: "Wild 2009 left Cubs looking to recharge" - Yeah, ok. We'll say 'Wild'

1/1 - Headline: "Ten questions facing the Cubs in 2010" Only ten?

1/10 - Headline: "Cubs sign LaHair" - Who gives LaCrap?

1/11 - Headline: Maddux joins Cubs as assistant to GM - Boy won't that be awkward when he wears a Braves hat to the Hall while working for the Cubs

1/21 - Headline: "Ex-Cub Edmonds confirms desire to play again" cough cough Brett-Favre cough

2/13 - Headline: "Hendry: Bad start doomed Bradley" No, birth doomed him.

2/28 - Headline: "Cubs' farm system starting to bear fruit" What's the big deal? It's been producing a bunch of lemons for years!

4/10 - Zambrano on yesterday's game "Basically, it was my first start..." Except, you know, it wasn't. (via @PWSullivan)

4/14 - Headline: "4/14 Soriano: "I like to play nine innings" - Well, we like to win games so you're sh*t outta luck. (via @CarrieMuskat)

4/24 - Headline: "More Milton Bradley: 'I'm as non-violent, non-threatening as they come'" - If by 'non-violent' you mean 'dickhead' then I agree.

5/6 - Headline: Ramirez back hitting fifth in lineup - Well, "hitting" is debatable...

5/16 - Headline: D-Lee: 'We don't come out here everyday to lose' - Damn, that's the one thing I thought you were good at.

6/1 - Headline: Piniella on Cubs' shakeup: 'Too much patience is stupidity' - God you're stupid

6/2 - Headline: Santo in good spirits after going to hospital - Funny, we were in good spirits that he went to the hospital (and was off the air)

6/29 - Headline: "Cubs look to Lilly to deliver win against Pirates" Maybe you should look to Theriot/Lee/Byrd/Soriano/Colvin/Ramirez/Soto/Castro ?

7/12 - Headline: "Cubs, Silva close first half with thud in LA" - I'd say more like a wet squishy splat like a bag full of poop, but ok.

7/16 - Headline: "Cubs send message in rout of Phillies" - Yeah like 'We can hit the crap out of senior citizens'

Friday, December 18, 2009

Buh bye Milt Buh bye

So there's dancing in the streets of Chicago because the Mistake is gone. Yes we're getting Carlos "look at the pretty ball fly away" Silva. But we're also getting $9 million from the M's. Really? That's a $6 million profit. Yes this will likely turn out bad. But really, anyone who thought this Milt saga would end with anyone in Chicago smiling was a foolish fool who never fooled a fool. Like even more foolish that Jim Hendry.

Trading Milt for anything without eating his entire contract was a plus. We actually made $6 million on the deal. As far as I'm concerned that's brilliant! Not exactly Eric Karros for Todd Hundley, but pretty damn close.

Jim, you have not even come close to redeeming yourself in anyone's eyes. But you managed to turn a ridiculously huge clusterf*ck and turn it into a really stupidly big mistake. That is an upgrade for those keeping score.

Now go get a centerfielder, middle infielder and a bullpen arm.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Here's what I'd do

For what it's worth - The Cubs need to bolster shortstop/second base, center field, and get an arm in the bull pen. Marlon Byrd is the best option for center field. So really, there are no options for center field. A quick look at the 2010 FA roster, Capps is the best option. So really, there are no options for the bullpen.

Which leaves us second base. There is one guy left on my wish list for second base, and that would be Orlando Hudson. As mentioned earlier, Orlando Hudson is basically a switch hitting Freddie Sanchez. at 283/.357/.417/.774, he's an upgrade over Fontenot and Baker, and he adds balance to the lineup.

One other thought - Miguel Tejada. After a slow start last year, he really picked it up after the first couple of months. He's a decent power bat, and he allows a move by Theriot over to second base - a more natural position for him.

One last thing: Signing the aging Tejada to a short deal - 1-2 years - would allow him to keep the spot warm for dreamy Starlin Castro who will undoubtedly revolutionize the way shortstops play. Tejada can also move over to thrid base when, er I mean if, Ramirez goes does, or worse, opts out of his contract at the end of this season.

Just a thought....

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Salary Capp?

Gotta love these contradictory back-to-back posts. No more pitchers followed by, hey, let's sign a pitcher!. Matt Capps was not offered a contract by the Pirates. Capps was the Pirates "closer" (in quotes, because c'mon a closer of the Pirates??) and he could be a good plan B after Marmol. In the meantime, he'd be a serviceable addition to the late innings incase Guzman surgically detaches his arm again.

Then again, having Grabow, Capps, and Gorzalanny all on the same pitching staff didn't work out so well for them. I'd view this as a similar situation to Putz. Make an offer in the neighborhood of 1.5-2 mil with an incentive or two, and Viola, there's your non-threatening-to-Marmol-backup-closer. Or in other words, Kevin Gregg II.

Toodles!

Friday, December 11, 2009

Not Another one...

Headline: "Cubs trade for minor-league pitcher" Thank God. We don't have NEARLY enough of those.

Seriously. How many minor league pitchers do we need? It seems like, if a starting 8 player goes down, there's panic - who's going to play 1st if Lee goes down? Well, we could move Baker to third, put Aramis at short, have Soriano stand on his head.... but if a pitcher goes down, it's more like - no big deal, we'll just decide between these 16 kids all ready to come up. I know the old saying is, 'You can never have too much pitching' but c'mon guys. We paid 10 million dollars for a minor league pitcher with less innings pitched than Mark Grace.

Enough is enough. Now I know why everyone is so excited about Starlin Castro - he doesn't stand on a mound...

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Winter meeting wrapup.

According to Musky the Cub: @CarrieMuskat: #cubs leave Winter Meetings with Milton still on roster. Hendry did talk to agents about FA CFs such as Byrd, Ankiel, Podsednik,

So whoopie. The Yankees get Granderson. Rich Harden said Ta-ta for less money than arbitration would've given him. And the Cubbies puleld off the biggest coup by doing absolutely dick. Methinks we are starting to see what Jimmy the Troll is capable of when his precious checkbook is taken away. And that adds up to a big fat nothing.

Seriously Jim. You had ONE job to do while you were there. Stop quibbling and just take Pat Burrell. Send Tampa all the money they want. Or, use my idea.

Didn't think I was serious about that did ya?

Friday, December 4, 2009

Did you hear that cry?

It was right around dinner time when our beloved Jake Fox packed his bags for Oakland. Unbeknownst to Oakland, inside Jake's handbag, was Aaron Miles. Jake was of course the only reason Oakland agreed to take on Miles. Well, that and their only other viable option at Shortstop is Bobby Crosby - that's a tough call.

Fox burst on the scene back in July-ish and was known for a solid bat, and less-than-solid-more-of-a-mucus-consistency glove. Unfortunately, like the All-State guy back in the 80's, couldn't hit a breaking ball to save his soul. So, overall no big loss. We got a bullpen arm back in the deal - Jeff Gray, who supposedly has a Guzman-like arm - only this one stays attached.

End of the day, we gave up a DH and a bad second baseman. I can live with that. Now all we have to do is unload the Mistake.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Cubs say "No Thanks" to another dominant pitcher.

So the Cubs passed on Arb for the following players -
Kevin Gregg - Heck, he's lucky we didn't shoot him, let alone take a pass on him.
Reed Johnson - On the fence for this one, but honestly Sam Fuld will do a passable job of 4th OF. So no big deal
Rich Harden - I don't get this one at all. Granted he's an injury risk, but I will remind you once more, Richy didn't even think of the DL until the last two weeks of the season. Frankly, I think that was more a ploy to scare off other teams. There was no reason to not offer him Arb this year, just as there was no reason to not offer Wood arb last year. Worst case - he accepts and you pay 8 mil - below market value - for a solid #1/#2 rotation guy.

Damn. That would suck.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

We promise - they're NOT windscreens!

Headline: Cubs install sign boards in Wrigley Field bleachers as part of dispute with local casino

In the Windscreens, take 2 saga, the Cubs have erected advertising boards in the left field bleachers. This is in accordeance with Tom Rickett's promise to emulate Boston in generating revenue with signboards. Ok cool. But these signboards happen to fall driectly in the line of sight from every camera to the Budweiser, er I mean horseshoe casino building across the way. And guess what - Good. Screw the rooftops.

I remember seeing pictures of a time when watching a game at Wrigley "from the rooftop" meant a bar-b-que and a deck chair. Now, they have reinfocred roofs, gates, ushers, security, and a freakin' petting zoo. I'm frankly sick of these money grubbers stealing the Cubs product. At least now there's revenue sharing between the rooftops and the Cubs. So, horseshoe - you're screwed. Guy who bought the Horseshoe building - you're screwed. The Cubs have sent a definitive message. We will not allow an immoral act to be advertised during our games. And we mean gambling, not drinking. Drinking's still ok.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Tasteless in Cincy...

Headline: Baker and Piniella to headline Redsfest

Really Reds? Really? You're going to invite the current manager of your Central Division rival (man I almost got that out with a straight face - Reds as a "Rival"...snicker...anyway) to come to your "fest" and speak to the dozens of attendees you're expecting? And you can't say it's to celebrate 20 years since the World Series, because that's NEXT year. Oh...and by the way Piniella's contact is up NEXT YEAR. Couldn't you have waited a year until the time that these two things actually made sense?

Don't get me wrong, I'm not really upset about this per se, but still guys. C'mon!

Here's hoping a bunch of Cub fans show up...

Friday, November 20, 2009

What Pitching?

http://www.mlbtraderumors.com/2009/11/blue-jays-contacted-cubs-about-halladay.html

So this comes across the rumor wire. Interesting. Some geniuses are saying "The Cubs HAVE pitching...." Oh really? Zambrano? Yeah? Which one is showing up today? Dempster? Really. He's a #3 that has occasional flashes of brilliance. Lilly? Had shoulder surgery which the Cubs say will delay his first start by a few weeks, which in Cubs time means July.

If there's any reason why this trade won't happen - and by the way, it won't - it will be because of two things -

1. No payroll room - Although if you're Ricketts, this guy'll bring in 15 mil in jerseys alone.
2. Nothing to trade for him. Oh yeah - Castro and Vitters and uh....uh.....yeah.

So let's not delude ourselves with this "we have enough pitching" - bullsh*t.

Friday, November 6, 2009

The offseason begins...

As I heard on WSOX last night, and I tend to agree - while the White Sox were busy making improvements to their team by trading for Tehan (as yet unconfirmed) and signing Mark Kotsay, the Cubbies were on a field trip to scenic Mesa driving to random locations in the desert saying "we could build a stadium here" knowing full well they'll be back in the Ho Ho come Feb. Gotta love posturing.

Lilly turns out to be not-so durable. Had surgery on his shoulder which according to the Cubs means he'll miss the first couple of months, ahem! I mean weeks, or the season, which mean Rich Harden just got one more bidder.

Offer
Him
Arbitration

Duh.

More to come in the following minutes...

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

New Sherrif in town...

So, here come the Ricketts, the mighty Riiiiicketts...Ok, I've been watching too much hockey. So can I just tell you how excitied I am to have the Ricketts family owning the Cubs? This morning I woke up - and that's about the same amount of excitement.

I still don't get why everyone seems to think this Ricketts deal is the big turnaround we've all been waiting for. I don't. His name ain't Steinbrenner. It's not even Cuban. Even God wouldn't dump millions and millions into this team. The Cubs are in the top 5 for payroll already - they should be winning now, but they're not. More of the same is not going to help. Playing fundamentally sound baseball will help - and history is not on our side on this point.

Good luck Ricketts. I for one do not expect you to balloon the payroll, or spend just for the sake of spending. Everyone else in the known universe does. Just make sure you let everyone down easy.

And don't even THINK about keeping Bradley.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

2009 Wrap up

A .500 team. A 140 million dollar .500 team. That pretty much sums it up. A disastrous offseason that lead to a mediocre season. Every time the Cubs threatened to grab a respectable hold on a +.500 record, they quickly squashed that dream with another losing streak. It was almost funny.

The GOOD news is, Jimmy-boy only signed one ridiculously bad contract. Had he dumped money into 3-4 bad contracts - well, then we have some serious issues. Fortunately, only "The Mistake" is destined to not earn a single dollar we'll be paying him next year.

Yeah. THAT'S the good part. Coming up, we'll be looking at some potential moves to be made. We'll continue breaking down the 2009 roster. We'll anxiously wait with baited breath to see what player Jim Hendry managed to win a bidding war against himself for. And we'll hope he doesn't share a name with a popular board game company.

More minutes to come.

Monday, October 5, 2009

2009 End of Season Roster

Updated daily until the World Series -ish.

Roster #1- Carlos Zambrano - Everyone except those who matter wants this guys gone. Fortunately, the ones who matter are right.
Roster #2 - Aramis Ramirez - Once again proving he's the most clutch hitter on the team. Almost an RBI per game. Sick.
Roster #3 - Carlos Marmol - 12 balls followed by 9 strikes. Named closer next year in an attempt to get it down to 8 balls before 3 K's.
Roster #4 - Ryan Dempster - Considering his daughter lived in a hopital through June, 11 wins is freakin' awesome. You are hard core.
Roster #5 - Ted Lilly - Had an "off year", leading the team in wins. The best starter for the last 4 years. Only All Star, well deserved.
Roster #6 - Mike Fontenot - Ladies and gentlemen, your 2009 starting second baseman - unfortunately. Get used to pinch-hitting.
Roster #7 - Reed Johnson - Good for one spectacular catch in April, then decent play the rest of the year. Still thinks he can bunt.
Roster #8 - Alfonso Soriano - Leg fell off in May, didn't tell anyone until September. Going to be here a while - get used to it.
Roster #9 - Milton Bradley - "The Mistake" Period. End of list. Can't get out of town fast enough. And take your lying-ass mom with you.
Roster #10 - Derrek Lee - Slow start, then took off like a rocket and didn't look back. Almost enough to carry the team. Almost.
Roster #11 - John Grabow - With Guzman and Marmol, he completes a deadly trio. And guess what Lou, HE'S LEFT HANDED!
Roster #12 - Kevin Gregg - Don't worry Gregg. I'm sure the 7 blown saves, 4.79 ERA and 13 HR's won't affect your contract opportunities.
Roster #13 - Rich Harden - Only starter to pitch almost the entire season. Missed 2 weeks b/c we all forgot he was supposed to be injured.
Roster #14 - Kosuke Fukudome - Much more consistent this year. Still spins like a top at the plate when he's off. Still a waste of money.
Roster #15 - Randy Wells - Spot starter ends up leading the team in wins. Can you say Wally Pipp?
Roster #16 - Geovany Soto - Duuuuude. You like totally got major muchies last year. No more twinkies. Let's hope you weren't a 1 hit wonder.
Roster #17 - Aaron Miles - Even Mendoza thinks you suck.
Roster #18 - Ryan Theriot - When Piniella says "Drive the ball" from now on your first thought should be "Which car should I take?".
Roster #19 - Koyie Hill - I have it on good authority that he once threw out Jesus trying to steal a base - with 1 hand. Hard freakin' core.
Roster #20 - Jeff Baker - Rumor has it, the Cubs have asked him to change his last name to "DeRosa".
Roster #21 - Sean Marshall - Dear Sean, you're a bullpen pitcher and the sooner you get that through your head the better off you'll be.
Roster #22 - Tom Gorzelanny - Not as hard to spell as Samardzija, but close. Is hoping to rehash his 2006 not-too-shabbiness.
Roster #23 - Aaron Heilman - We just found out why two teams didn't want him last year. Decent 11th bullpen guy,
Roster #24 - Angel Guzman - Wants to change his name to "marmol" and move into the setup slot. Welcome. Stay healthy and it's yours.
Roster #25 - David Patton - I had to google him to make sure he was still a Cub. Elvis was seen more often at Wrigley than this guy.

Honorable Mentions:
Micah Hoffpauir - Still the hoff, but no longer capitalized. Hitting .239 will do that.
Jake Fox - Think Pedro Serano. If you make the mistake of throwing a fastball, he'll hit the piss out of it. If not....
Sam Fuld - Quickly replacing Reed Johnson as the fans' favorite backup outfielder.
Bobby Scales - Proved without a doubt that he can only play on dirt, not grass.
Andres Blanco - Made the play of the year. Couldn't get to 1st base in a women's prison with a fist full of pardons.

Predicitons vs. Reality

This is almost comical, but here we go -

Predictions vs Reality

Total wins - Predicted - 94

Wow...that was a laugher. Knowing the issues facing this team going in, I only trimmed 3 wins off their record. Sheesh. The boys ended with a ridiculous 83 wins.

1st NL Central by 5 games

Ok, I didn't expect the Cubs to be a remarkably 500 as they were, but nobody saw St. Louis coming. And by nobody, I mean really nobody. Cubs ended up diown by 7.5 games, remarkably still in second place.

Team Batting Average - .264

I wasn't too far off on this, all things considered. The Cubs could hit just fine. It was situational hitting where they failed, spectacularly, every single freakin' day...Anyway. .255.

Milton Bradley games - 96

Let's add a caveat here - I should've said Milton Bradley full games. He ended up with 124 games, BUT he pinch hit 16 times, which brings the total down to 108. Add to that the 15 days he SHOULD'VE spent on the DL at the beginning of the season, but for Jim Hendry's pride, and the total is down to 93. However, Jimmy did finally sack up and suspend "The Mistake", so 108 sounds right, and only 12 more than I thought.

Fukudome games - 100

Fuky appeared in 146 games this year, but again, only started 129. Bear in mind that Fuky was consistently average this year, with the ups not nearly as up, and the downs not nearly, thankfully, as down. So he got more starts - still a waste of money.

Rich Harden Starts - 24

Rich was the only Cubs starter to pitch a full season, until he was shut down in Mid-September. Considering most of the civilized world thought he'd be having shoulder surgery in June, that's remarkably consistent. He started 26 games. Boo yah.

Rich Harden Starts of 7+ innings - 5

5. Boo yah. One freakin' predicition thus far. Yippee for freakin' me.

Over/under 200 innnings for starters -
Dempster - over
Lilly - over
Zambrano - over
Harden - under
Marshall - under

DL stints affected my three overs and with 200, 177, and 169.1 respectively, I gotta say I whiffed on all three of those. Marshall and Harden - shocker of all shockers didn't climb over 145. Next year I'll make it more challenging and set it at 185.

No surprises there.

Home Runs -
The Hoff - 13 9

Initially predicted 13, then switched it to 9. He ended up with 10. Minor league stint didn't help his numbers. Nor did his .239 BA.

Bradley - 25

"The Mistake" managed only 12 home runs. Out slugged by Aramis "82 games" Ramirez. Nice job dipsh*t.

Lee - 20

Lee made a strong comeback this year after breaking his wrist 2 years ago. Finished the year with a team-leading 35. He may be back ladies and gents. But remember, and I will next year too - he's a slow starter.

Ramirez - 33

Only played in 82 games, and hit 15. Multiply that by 2 - that's 30. So I was close.

Soriano - 35

Dude, "manning up" does not always mean playing hurt. Sometimes it takes a bigger man to acknowledge that you're not helping your team. You only hit 20 HR and overall sucked worse than you usually did, and I suspect it was largely because you could barely walk for 4 out of 6 months.

Fontenot - 23

This is such a f*cking joke it's barely worth the bandwidth.

Soto - 19

Pot smokin' hippie. Stay of the green stuff and drop another 35 pounds. No more twinkies.

Yes, Fontenot will have more home runs than Lee. - see above comment.

Starters ERA - 4.25
Relievers ERA - 3.85

These two eras are all over the place with all the spot starting etc. Let's put it this weay, for the bulk of the season, starting pitching was NOT the problem.
For the first couple of months, the bullpen was a HUGE problem, but even they got their crap together come August-ish.

Marmol ERA - 2.49

Marmol would've been fine if he hadn't gotten so upset about not being made closer. I don't suspect that was his whole problem, but it was a lot of it. Given the fact that he consistently walked the bases loaded before striking out the side, his 3.41 ERA is a blessing.

Gregg ERA - 3.15

I guess, I really can't explain what I was thinking. Maybe I assumed that Hendry couldn't have had a total clusterf*ck of an offseason and at least ONE move had to have worked out and maybe you wouldn't be that bad. God that was freakin' dumb. 4.72 - Nuff said.

Runs Per Game - 4.89

Off by .5 run - 4.39. Lost way too many games with a 1 or 2 run differential.

Runs Allowed Per Game - 4.35

I was actually really close on this one - 4.17. As I said, the pitching was for the most part, not the problem.

One Run games W - 59%

.421 - I didn't count on having such a crappy bullpen at the start of the year, and a crappy closer for the rest of it.

Home Wins - 52

46

Road Wins - 42

37

Once again, off by 11 games - they had to come from somewhere. Cubs gave away a lot of games, both home and road. Their overall record speaks for itself.

So that's it. Of all the prediations I made, I was only right about Rich Freakin' Harden. Good for me. Stay tuned for the season wraps in the coming months.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Acceptance?

So everyone everywhere is now talking aobut how the Cubs have been "officially" eliminated from playoff contention as of the Rockies win last night (vs. the Boo-hoo Crew no less), and now it's time to accept that it will be 102 years....blah blah blah.

Ok, saying that the Cubs have been "officially" eliminated is like having a 113 year old man diagnosed with pheumonia and saying "Oh my God! He's going to die!" Put another, more sensitive way - it's not like this is a shock to anyone. Now, we'll examine the why's and the how's of it later, but honestly, I threw in the towel back in July, when it became evident that against greater-than-mediocre teams, the Cubs just panicked and buried thier heads in the sand and hoped to not get swept. Even when they touched first place briefly in August, you knew, if they managed to hold it, that they were doomed to another 3 and out performance.

So honestly folks, let's put aside our "shock" and "numbness" that the Cubs have failed - again - and move on to more surprising things. I understand the sky is blue today. Let's all take a minute and look at it.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Blackouts...

Dagnabbit. I was just thinking to myself that MLB.TV would be a nice christmas present to myself. Watch the games at work, or on the computer when my wife want's to watch something else. Heck, watch them on the netbook while at starbucks, or wherever. I even have a friend in Detroit who can get the package for me, use their CC and they'll have THAT zip code. Sadly though, IP address is used to determine your location as well. But I could use a proxy server to alter my IP address, and maybe I could get around it that way.

Bottom line - if anyone is willing to go to these measures to watch games on their computers, maybe MLB should wake up to the 21st century and re-think this Blackout BS.

Does MLB really think that anyone in the world would rather watch a baseball game on their 8" netbook rather than a 40" plasma? Really? IF IT WAS AN OPTION, WE WOULDN'T NEED MLB.TV.

What a frustrating minute.

A message to the NLC Champ Cardinals and their fans.

Burn in hell, you rat bastards.

No seriously, I'll say congratulations to you in the same way I said it to the White Sox in '05 - I'm flipping you off behind my back the entire time. You made the right moves, specifically Holliday (I'm personally convinced the DeRosa trade was just to make our lives hell), and took advantage of a sad-sack Cubs team (who now seems to be playing well, now that there's no pressure - thanks a freakin' lot) and got into the post-season.

Right now, I'm going to ask you to kiss something. Take a wild guess.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Another phone call

This one will be made around the end of November

"Hi Milt, It's Jim. Yeah, so I wanted to let you know, I'm having a heck of a time moving your contract. It's not you, but...ok, well yeah it is you, but the money doesn't help either. So anyway, I got an offer from the Rangers that if I pay 19 million, they'll take you back. Oh really? I'm glad to hear that you'd be happy with that move. Here's the thing though. I talked to Crane and we're actually going to go ahead and turn that down. Instead, you're going to sit on your little butt there and watch other teams play baseball. You will not see a live pitch thrown at you for the next two years. You won't even remember where your glove is by the time this contract runs out. But don't worry Milt. I'm sure two years sitting on the shelf will not affect your free-agency when you turn the young age of 33 in 2012. Oh and by the way, we're gonna fly you in here every once in a while so you can hold a press conference and talk with the media that will undoubtedly miss you so much.

Oh you don't like that option huh? Well gee that's too bad because you know we have this contract here, and boy oh boy if only there was a way that you didn't have to stay under our control for the next two years. Yeah, I sure wish there was a way for someone to, oh I don't know, opt out of a contract or something.

Huh. Well anyway Milty-boy. We're sending you over a case of Margarita mix since that's all you'll have to do for the next two years. I appreciate your time Milt and thank you so much for everything you've done already."

Monday, September 21, 2009

Really? Really?

The player's Union is considering challenging "The Mistake's" Suspension. First of all, if Chris De Luca's report:

The real reason behind Milton Bradley's suspension: Clubhouse dustup with coach Von Joshua had as much to do with it as the negative talk.

is accurate, then Milt is lucky he only got suspended. Second, if I'm Jimmy, here's my phone call to Milt.

"Hey Milt. So, I'm told the Players' Association is considering filing a grievance. Tell ya what buckaroo, consider it lifted. Yes, absolutely. Get on a plane and fly your happy little buns back to Milwaukee. You will spend the next two weeks sitting in uniform on a bench watching how a real team plays. You will travel with us, and you will talk to the press for as long as they want. Every day. Don't bring your glove or bat - you won't need them. You will be riding the pine for the rest of the season, but you won't be suspended. Be carefull how you walk though, because if you so much as stub your toe, I will put you on the DL so fast your head will spin and maybe that third year won't be so much of a guarantee.

So what do you think Milt? You wanna just stay suspended? Yeah. I thought you might."

And for the alst time this season -

Bobby Abreu watch - .295/.394/.429/.823

Boy..thank God we didn't sign THAT guy at 3/30

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Get-Rid-Of-Milt-Athon

Last night, I was reading my buddy Bruce over at the Daily Herald and I see this line pouring out of The Mistake's mouth - "...and you can see why they haven't won in 100 years here."

Believe me this got a blog post going in my head. Something like "F^ck you. F^uck your mom for forgetting to take her pill. F^ck your dad for not drowning you at birth..." You know...something like that. But then I realized - that would just be negative, and lord knows we can't let Milty-poo hear any negativity. Noooooo. So I decided to start a cause - the Get-Rid-Of-Milt-Athon. Here's how it works.

I'm sure, if Tommy Ricky asked, he could find 2 million people who would each be willing to donate $10 raise the $20 million we'd need to cut Milt loose and still retain enough financial flexibility to make the signings we need. So, on Twitter, I started the cause. You can tweet your pledges (in $10 increments) to @onetwittedcubs
to get Milt the heckle out of town.

Naturally, right now this is all informal. No ACTUAL money will change hands, it's more of a scenario, but I'd be interested to see how much we could raise. Heck, if it's enough - I could always email Jimmy.

So pledge now! Rid yourself of an underachieving, whiny, cry-baby of a right fielder - no, not THAT one. We already got Jerry Hairston for him...

Sunday, August 23, 2009

If I were GM Part III

So there's all this talk aobut, OMG, what are we gonna do this offseason? How do we trade for? Who do we sign? There's still 6 weeks left here folks. What do we do now? On more accurately, what do we do come September 1?

Simple. If the Cubs are within 4 games of first place - not completely impossible, then it's business as usual. Call up a few guys, but for the most part, stick with the core, plus The Hoff and ReJo. That way, we're shooting to make up one game per week to make for an exciting final week. Once we get to the psot season, we'll have our A##es handed to us, but that's another blog.

The last 4 weeks, with the exception of the Cardinals, Sox and Giants we don't even get to play spoiler. Just 3 weeks of really sadly meaningless games.

Which is why I propose the following if the Cubs find themselves 4.5+ out of first.

1. Platoon A-Ram and Fox every other day at third. A-Ram ain't healed yet.
2. Get Fox behind the plate - he may be a viable candidate for catcher. Wouldn't mind him seeing more time at first either.
3. Platoon The Hoff and Sorry-I-Suck in Left. Hoff will need the playing time and AB's, and Soriano, like it or not - we're stuck with him for another 5 years, so lets do our best to keep him healthy.
4. Call up Samardzija and go with a 6 man rotation - Zambrano, Lilly, Dempster, Harden, Gorzelanny, Samardzija. This will ease the strain on the starting staff and allow Gorzy and Sammy to audition for the #5 spot for next year.

That's all I got for now.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

If I were GM Part Deux

This offseason can be ruled a success with relatively few moves, and that's a really good thing because there are few moves the Cubs can realistically make.

Kapper starts off his assumptions that the Ricketts will eat salary and move Milt. While that wouldn't be an entirely bad thing, depending on the move, let's not make that assumption and assume instead that what you see is what you get.

And that means the following positions are filled:

1B - Lee
2B/SS - Theriot
2B/SS - Vacancy
3B - Ramirez
LF - Sorry-I-Suck
CF - Johnson/Fuku
RF - Bradley
Catcher - Soto

SP1 - Zambrano
SP2 - Lilly
SP3 - Dempster
SP4 - Wells
SP5 - Gorzy/Samarjy/Marshall/Vacancy

Closer - Marmol/See Below
Setup - Guzman/Grabow/See Below
Bullpen - Heilman + above, et.al.

The biggest gamble from a starting position perspective was "Can Fontenot produce the numbers he produced as a part-timer as a full timer?" with the answer being a resounding Heckle-me Elmo NO!. So, there's a hole there and IMHO, the biggest need on the team. Releasing Harden to Free Agency allows this hole to be filled by one of the following names in order of preference - Orlando Hudson, Marco Scutaro, Freddy Sanchez, Mark DeRosa, Miguel Tejada, or David Eckstein. Now, because all of these gents will soon be receiving their baseball AARP cards, here are the take it or leave it offers made to these boys -

Any of the top 3 would be offered 3 years at 4-8 mil/year.

Marco Scutaro - Solid hitter, some power, and he does it in the AL East - 4 Mil is 4 times his current salary

Orlando Hudson - Switch-hitting Freddie Sanchez - 5 mil is 2 more than this year, but not quite his peak. 4th option year

Freddie Sanchez - Solid hitter, minimal power - He'll cost 8 mil AT LEAST. Listed third because of cost. 4th option year

Mark DeRosa - 2 years/5-6 mil - 4th on the list because the legend of DeRo will never be as good as DeRo. Plus he's 35.

Miguel Tejada - 1 year, 5-6 mil - Solid hitter, Power hitter, but by his own admission maybe isn't great for SS any more. He will likely laugh at this offer.

David Eckstein - In lieu of Ryan Theriot, I'd have loved to have this guy on our team 6 years ago. But, since we have a Ryan Theriot, he's really not necessary and is last on the to-do list - 1 year/3 mil. - 3 times his current salary.

Now, for the fun picks - Above, I mentioned Marmol would be the provisional closer, one guy could not be had - Jose Valverde. Quite possibly the scariest man to ever don a baseball uniform. I'd love to have him closing games and Marmol will just have to realize that the 7th inning is just as important, if not more important than the 9th.

Finally, one last fun pick. I wouldn't mind, but won't get in an uproar if it doesn't happen, taking one last shot at Nomar in a backup 3rd base/first base role. Solid serviceable bat and good defender - just right for those times that Lee or Rami need a nap.

Now the touchy issue I know Kapper will hate. Leave the starting rotation alone. Zambrano when he's on - and I know that's a huge if - can go toe to toe with anyone. Dempster and Lilly can face down any #2's or 3's, and Randy Wells over the season, despite the length of service, hasn't gotten caught up to yet. At that point, I'd go with Gorzy (big asterisk here based on the rest of his body of work for this season) for the #5 slot keeping 2 lefties in the rotation. Marshall goes to the pen when he's frankly better suited and spot starts as necessary.

If Zambrano proves again that he just can't hack it as a #1, then see who's available come July.

Bear in mind, we are working on a budget here, and Lackey made 10 mil last season. So there ya have it. I may change my mind tomorrow, but that's what I got.

If I were GM...Part I

So Kapper, the ultimate Cubs fan, seems to have thrown in the towel. Already talking about next season. And well he should be. The Cubs are pretty much toast now, so yes, let's play Hendry for a few moments. Here's his actual tweet:

@thekapmanLatest post up on Kap's Corner. You play Cubs GM. Best plan wins dinner! Tweet this out to all your Cubs fan friends! http://bit.ly/1cg3ss

challenge accepted.

I'm gonna mull this one a bit, but names are already floating around like Sanchez, Tejada, Pinero, Lackey...hmm...Watch for this to come next couple of days...

This one is a toss up

So we can't go to San Diego without pointing out the following correlation -
Step 1. Cubs want to be more left handed.
Step 2. Henry Blanco ain't, but he IS a mentor to Geo Soto
Step 3. Henry goes elsewhere
Step 4. Geo Sucks.

So HEndry obviously dropped the ball right? I sure as heck know _I_ made this argument a couple of times. However - hindsight is 20-20 - even the strongest Blanco lovers have to admit, there is no way in hell that Henry Blanco catches 26 games in a row when Geo goes on the DL for smoking, er I mean his side.

Koyie Hill has been a serviceable backup. I would argue that over a season, I would probably rather have Hank White as a backup, but for a 1 month stretch of not having Jake Fox behind the plate, Hill will do.

Really, this one is a coin toss.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Excuses abound.

To follow up on this twitter post -

August 19th - Musky the Cub's blog - "8/19 Hendry: "It's 'whatever it takes' time" - Except of course actually doing anything...

The following was posted as a comment on the blog - just bringing it here to share as well.

It's whatever it takes time, but when the questions come about what does it take, he points to the field. Oh no, _I_ can't do anything of course! It's the players! THEY have to do whatever it takes. I certainly can't be expected to pick up a veteran leader with closing experience. No, I'll just let him trot down to St. Louis along with everyone else in the world...cough...DeRosa...cough...Holliday...cough.

See folks - this is the difference between action, and sad-sack excuses. You do not get a pass Jimmy b/c you put together a 97 game winner LAST year. If anything, you're MORE under the microscope.

Jim Hendry has just morphed from good GM to donut-munching moron.

I'd suggest Jim, that you avoid the press and keep your head down until you're officially fired this off season - about the only positive thing that'll come about from this ownership situation.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Is it over?

Weeeeeeeellllllll...

It ain't good. With the Cardinals showing no signs of slowing down and the Cubs playing - well like they are it doesn't look too good. Keeping in mind that only 12 of the last 50 games this season are against teams that are above .500, there is a chance that they might back into the playoffs. Once they get there? Well, the 83 win Cardinals jump to mind, but frankly here's what would have to happen - we're going to assume that somehow the Cubs get to the post season - for the Cubs to win.

1. Zambrano wouldh ave to stay sane for a solid three weeks.
2. Harden would have to stay whole for a whole 3 weeks.
3. Dempster would have to throw strikes for a whole three weeks
4. Lilly would pretty much just have to be the Lilly we've all seen.

Plus.

5. Soriano would have to stop swinging at pretty much any breaking pitches.
6. Lee would have to be Lee of May/June, not April or July
7. Ramirez would have to remember how to hit after October 1.
8. Bradley would have to not be the guy he's been all year.

That's a lot of not sucking. But hey, I'm a Cubs fan. That whole blind-optimism thing is kinda how we roll..

A picture's worth


"So let's see here, 50 games left this year, plus the off season, then 45 days of Spring training and another 162 games next year, minus 4-5 ejections, I figure I've got about 300 games left of this BS before I go to the Yankees..."

Just for fun, Lou switches between calculating the number of games and the number of calendar days left on his contract. Sometimes, he figures out hours, but he needs a calculator for that.

Unmasked

Hey! This guy -


You're kind of an a-hole. You've done the near-impossible and actually given Cubs fans a worse reputation than they already had. On ESPN. You stupid barrel of monkey spunk. Don't go to any more games. Don't wear that ugly-ass hat. You're not welcome here. We don't serve your kind. There's plenty of room in that park 8 miles South for degenerates. Have fun - they actually have a chance of not sucking this year.

And the sunglasses - really? Are those like Marty McFly specials? Really? Looking forward to that Tron release?

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Knock Knock. Who's there? Opportunity...

Is John Smoltz this year's Jim Edmonds? With Carlos Zambrano chatting up his buds off in DL Central, Lilly out of the picture for another couple of weeks, Samard-however the heck you spell his name-our only option for starter #5, and Kevin Gregg's recent issues. Umm...Anyone know where we might be able to pick up a servicable 5th starter with elite closing experience?

Granted Smoltz isn't at the top of his game, but to be fair, Smoltz at 75% is better than many options the Cubs have right now. Jim Edmonds was released from the weakest hitting team in baseball last year and still came over and made a solid difference - didn't excactly wipe the floor with anyone, but he was definitely a difference-maker and more than once. Besides, he'd be a good band-aid to cover the #5 starter slot. As long as he doesn't allow 20 runs per game, who cares who the #5 starter is? And if he does, have a nice day.

Not to mention Smoltz might be the veteran leader, coming from a winning tradition, who might be able to get this team all on the same page.

And he's cheap. Is he left handed by chance? No silly. If he was, he'd already be signed...

Monday, August 3, 2009

You're the manager - Manage

Say what you want about Gregg - and beleive me the twittersphere has been SAYING things - At least he took responsibility last night:

"Two pitches. Twenty-five guys put together great efforts, and [because of] two pitches we walk out of here losing."

That about sums it up. But here's a couple of other quotes -

"He's the manager; you do what he says," Dempster said of Piniella...

and

"I don't know. I don't make those decisions." (about calling up BJ Ryan from AAA) and - this one's my favorite - "Why should I?" When asked if maybe Piniella might consider the possibility of changing Gregg's role as closer.

Right now, it seems like most of this team is padding themselves so when the inevitable crash comes, it won't be on them. Hey, I'm just a player. I listen to the manager. Hey I'm just the manager, I listen to the General Manager. Kiss my purple pimpled butt. But we'll get more into that later.

Look, at this point, you may as well leave Gregg. Marmol can't close the Dutch, let alone a major league team. Guzman, while he's shown dominating stuff at times, has no experience and isn't as consistent and one would need. Heilmann - shoot I almost got that out with a straight face.

Maybe Ryan will be the answer later - not now. But I wouldn't mind seeing him up here soon. Meantime, don't call for firing someone until you have someone else step up. GRegg gets just a touch more rope to hang himself with. After that, we'll need to talk a bit more.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

More lefties...

Let's hope they go on the "Not crappy" pile, but let's face it, history is not on Jimmy's side.

The Cubs acquired LHP John Grabow and Tom Gorzelanny from our Central Farm team, er, I mean the Pirates for Kevin Hart - yeah, the same one who won today - Jose Ascanio and 3B prospect not worth mentioning.

I was asked, via Twitter who moves into the 5th rotation spot then? Right now, I gotta go with Marshall until Lilly comes back. Gorzy is headed to Iowa because he recently started sucking and showed no sign of not sucking soon, but if he regains his form (circa 2006 I think) he could be a pretty good pickup. Grabow projects as a Type A Free Agent, which to the uninformed (myself included) means he should be good/very good -ish. So It looks like Grabow will be the lone lefty in the pen for now, with Marshall taking up the 5th starter role until Lilly comes back and then Marshall will no longer have to play left field - even though that was cool as crap when it happened...

That's how it looks right now anyway...

Pirates sell off everything, including the kitchen sink...Literally

The Pittsburgh Pirates have completed all transactions from the 2009 season, because they have nothing left to sell. After completing their latest trade of Freddy Sanchez to the Giants for a prospect and an old gym sock, Pirates GM Neal Huntington received a call from owner Robert Nutting.

"Neal, I'm out here on the golf course and I heard that we've sold off everything but the kitchen sink. Why is that sink still on our payroll?"

Hours later, Eric's Plumbing Gurus showed up at the Pirates clubhouse to remove the sink, affectionately known as "Drippy" and ship it off to Toronto in a deal for a Player To Be Named Later + 19.95 shipping and handling.

"It was tough to part with Drippy, but some really famous hands have been washed in that old girl - Barry Bonds, Freddy Sanchez, Aramis Ramirez, and of course the big R.C. They've all been traded away of course, but they used to."

Sources say Roy Halladay was excited about the move and couldn't wait to wash his hands in Drippy, preferably before the trade deadline.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Let me off.

Ok, it's official. I'm standing there bouncing around and finially I've had enough. I reach up and pull the cord. Stop. I'm done.

I am officially leaving the Lou Piniella bus. Check please!

Sorry folks - he's gone. Out of it. Lost his margarita-soaked mind. The last two straws were as follows:

Cubs will try to slot Rich Harden to pitch night games

So now our dominant starter can't pitch during the day? Don't get me wrong, he's great and all, but that 9:00 wake up call is just brutal. Oh and he can only throw 85 pitches per start. Oh and he needs to have the stadium rotated so the mound faces north. Is there anything else we can do for your majesty?

Piniella seeking lefty hitter with power

Umm Lou - You HAVE your left-handed bat, actually several of them and you know what? THEY HAVEN'T F^CKING HELPED!!! "The Mistake", Fukudome, Fontenot, Hill, Hoffpauir, there's your left handed bats, and the only one that does anything - the Hoff, you won't f^cking play him! Left handed bats are not the answer. BATS are the answer.

Seriously? Harden pitching only night games, which is bound to f^ck up the rest of the rotation by the way, and getting another left handed bat? This is what you have for us? Are you seriously out of excuses? Like "Uh, look son, we need another frontline starter" - you got that. "Oh, well then look, what we really need is a left-handed..." Lou, lou lou. You have that too. "Oh, well, uh, um..see there was this black cat....

I'm done. I'm officially off the Lou bus. Is this all his fault? Not all of it. But that's not enough to get him off the hook. Not any more.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Predictions vs. Half way Projections

Halfway point. Let's see how pathetically miserable we're doing. Current x2 projections are in parenthesis.

Total wins - 94 (82 - unfreakin' real)

1st NL Central by 5 games (down by 3)

Team Batting Average - .264 (.247)

Milton Bradley games - 96 (112 - of course many of those are pinch hit appearances)

Fukudome games - 100 (138)

Rich Harden Starts - 24 (26)

Rich Harden Starts of 7+ innings - 5 (no idea, but I believe he's had at least 1)

Over/under 200 innnings for starters -
Dempster - over (210)
Lilly - over (222)
Zambrano - over (192)
Harden - under (140)
Marshall - under

No surprises there.

Home Runs -
The Hoff - 13 9 (14 - I was closer on my first guess)
Bradley - 25 (12 - "The Mistake" nuff said)
Lee - 20 (32 - but he will not continue hitting at this sick pace. Like A-Ram, prolly closer to 22-25)
Ramirez - 33 (8 - but he did miss 2 months on the DL. Not gonna be 30, but maybe 22-25)
Soriano - 35 (28 - assuming he remembers how to hit at some point)
Fontenot - 23 (12 - who knew making him an every da player would freak him out so much...)
Soto - 19 (16)

Yes, Fontenot will have more home runs than Lee. (Umm..no...He won't)

Home Wins - 52 (50)
Road Wins - 42 (32)

This is based on nothing except gut. We'll see.

Soi basically what it boils down to is nobody saw THIS bad a performance coming. Lee is hitting much better than he has in the last 3 years, Soto is starting to hit the ball, and BRadley's fine as long as he's batting right-handed - hmmmm. Fontenot has performed way below expectations, and looks to continue that way. Overall, the division is still winnable but only because it's so incredibly bad. I thi k they'll end up with more than 82 wins - prolly closer to 86, but that's good enough to win this division. We'll have our asses handed to us in the post season once again, but hey...

Jim Hendry better start typing his resume if he doesn't get anyone as 2B or SS (which would then move Theriot to 2B) before the deadline. One more bullpen arm would be nice too.

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Mark DeRosa take 4??

So now the Cubbies have Jeff Baker. Lou summed up his senility in one statement to the press.

"He's a versatile guy, can play three infield position and the corner positions in the outfield, and he can swing the bat a little bit," manager Lou Piniella said. "So he will give us some versatility and a good right-handed bat coming off the bench."

Hey. That sounds great! Just imagine how valuable a super utility guy who can play infield and outfield and swing a solid right handed bat...wait...

Jeff Baker is not and never will be as valuable as DeRosa. He is simply the latest in what will be long line of utility players Jimmy will recruit to help repair him image as someone who did not royally screw all of us with a molten hot poker.

We see through your bullsh^t Jim, and it's still just as stinky. I would suggest you leave town before the Cardinals come in this weekend...

Monday, June 29, 2009

Enjoy Pittsburgh

Ok folks. Get your easy chairs - you know with the puffy cushions, and crack open your beers and kick back and relax. You have three games. Three games against the Pirates. Three games that don't mean a whole lot. Three games of worry free baseball.

Then home. vs Milwaukee. Then St. Louis. 4 games a piece with each. An 11 game stretch with the Braves sandwiched in between that could and most likely will determine the rest of the season. Make no mistake - these are the biggest games of the season so far, and will likely be the biggest games of the season overall. What OMC? OMG You're SO overreacting! Really?

Think back to a certain road trip up to Milwaukee last August. That 4-game sweep nailed the coffin shut on the Brewers. Remember the 5 game St. Louis series in '03? Yes it was in September, but it catapulted the Cubs to within 5 outs of the World Series.

So yeah - these games are THAT big. Cubbies it's time to get them swingin', and I don't mean the bats - but honestly those too. It's time to show the Cardinals that a one-man-band goes out of tune real quick. It's time to show the Boo-Hoo Crew, that while they're really cute, those kids are not ready to play with the big boys.

Or it's time to whimper and cry and curl up into a corner and let them take what is ours.

Your call. You've got three days to make your decision. Let us know if we're all wasting our time.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Apologies

Normally, I try to keep the blog as profanity free as possible. There's a lot of "freaking"s and special characters, and the like, and rest assured that minimal profanity trend will continue, except when talking about DeRosa and the F-up that Jim Hendry has become. In a future entry, we'll tackle some of the best and worst moves of Jimmy's career thus far.

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Caution! R-Rated post!!!

Fuck you Jim Hendry. Fuck you, fuck your mother, and fuck your dog. Bounce balls off your fucking chin, you worthless piece of cock sucking dog shit. This is the pretty little bow on your dismal clusterfucking failure of an offseason.

Headline: Cardinals Acquire Mark DeRosa
http://www.mlbtraderumors.com/2009/06/cardinals-acquire-mark-derosa.html

That's right. Mark DeRosa is now sleeping with the enemy, and more importantly, the Cardinals are about to bend you over a fucking rail and make you their bitches.

Just so we're clear - you traded away the most versatile player in the NL for three pitching prospects. Then, the team you traded him to traded him to our fucking rivals.

Fuck you Jim Hendry. Fuck you hard, fuck you long, and fuck you good. And by the way - ANYONE who even thinks about applauding for DeRo when he comes back here wearing red - fuck you even harder. It was fun to cheer when you only had to see him three games and then he could go rot in obscurity. He's a fucking Cardinal now, so all of you people even thinking about putting left hand to right hand better just sit down and shut the fuck up.

Jim Hendry - you better hope this team gets its shit together and makes it to the postseason, or you will be the most hated man in Chicago.

Friday, June 26, 2009

Home field advantage should be an advantage...

Some background From Red Line Rundown

This just in - Ozzie hates Wrigley

Yes yes Ozzie, go ahead and bash the Crumbling Confines once again - better that than talk about how abysmal your team is.

Could someone please show me the passage in the MLB rulebook that says it's the home team's job to make the visiting team comfortable? Because it seems like it's gotta be in there somewhere with all the complaining going on. If I were the Cubs, I'd make the visiting clubhouse smaller, and make one leg on every chair about 1/4" shorter than the rest.

It's called Home field advantage for a reason. You're not supposed to look forward to going there. Tell ya what - here's what we'll do.

We'll excavate behind the visitor's dugout and put the clubhouse there. Then, we'll install moving sidewalks from the clubhouse to the parking lot - so you don't have to walk. Then, we'll load you up with plushy vibrating massage chairs - two per player in case you want to sit more than once - each with it's own fridge microwave and flat screen TV. Then we'll block out half of the tickets in the stands for IP addresses located on the South side (online sales), area codes starting with 708 (phone sales), and people at the box office wearing Sox hats.

Will THAT make you happy Ozzie? You're going to the other team - it's our job to make you uncomfortable. Get over it.

Sorry Sori - You're Screwed.

I can't help but laugh at all the people who complain about Soriano leading off, and here's why - When he's hot, everyone complains that he's hitting too many home runs solo. When he's cold (or in recent history glacial), everyone complains that he doesn't hit enough.

Now, I'm the first to defend Soriano leading off - not because he's a leadoff hitter, but because that's the only place he's even close to being productive. He can't hit a beach ball with a tennis racket if he hits elsewhere. Stat upon stat upon stat backs this up and people just won't hear it. Lou is not coddling Soriano, or bowing to him, he's doing what a good manager does - he's putting his players in a position to succeed.

Now however, Soriano is sucking cheetah toes. So, it seems to me he can suck elsewhere in the lineup. Once he gets his swing back, he can go back to hitting leadoff home runs, but until then, he has to be moved, or he can ride the pine next to "The Mistake". Your call Lou.

Thursday, June 25, 2009

The Traffic camera thing in Illinois is Bogus...kinda

Sorry for the non-Cubs related post, but I had to get this off my chest, and posting here updates my facebook profile and gives me a public link I send to all the #$%^#$% that continue to spam my inbox.

Ok people, I'm sick of getting this email. STOP! It's not true. At least not entirely. For details see here -
http://www.snopes.com/politics/traffic/illinois.asp
Ok, yes snopes marks it as true, but we're gonna break this down:

Illinois will begin using photo radar in freeway work zones in July. One mile per hour over the speed limit and the machine will get you a nice $375.00 ticket in the mail. Beginning July 1st, the State of Illinois will begin using the speed cameras in areas designated as "Work Zones" on major freeways.

This is mostly crap because Illinois has been using these vans for 4 years already. It isn't THIS July, it's July 2005.

Anyone caught by these devices will be mailed a $375.00 ticket for the FIRST offense.
The SECOND offense will cost $1000.00 and comes with a 90-Day suspension.


This part is true. Steep.

Drivers will also receive demerit points against their license, which allow insurance companies to raise Insurance rates.
Total Horse crap. Illinois does NOT and never has used "Demerit points" on driver's licenses. Some states do, but not all. So the scenes in Fifth Element do have some basis - just not here.

This is the harshest penalty structure ever set for a governmental unit involving PHOTO speed enforcement. No idea, but sure why not?

The State already has two camera vans on line issuing tickets 24/7 in work zones with speed limits lowered to 45 MPH. Total crap, in that they have 5, not 2.

For more info: http://www.dot.state.il.us/press/r033005.html
This link results in a "page not found" or similar error, and here's why - look at the file name - r033005.html

Let me write that another way for you - 03/30/05. Yes. this was a press release in 2005. The most recent press release reiterates the true portions of this email -
http://www.dot.state.il.us/press/r062409.html

By the way - they have _5_ vans for the entire state of Illinois. Chicago has more than 5 expressways. You are in no more danger on July 1 of getting a ticket than you are today.

Long story short - do you HAVE to slow down in construction zones? Not because of these "NEW" laws. Should you? Absolutely.

So stop sending this to me!!!!

2009 Roster - mid season update

See the previous Roster breakdown

Here's your midseason update with 1 or 2 coming every day up until the All Star Game

Roster #1 - Milton Bradley - "The Mistake". Can't hit, can't field, can't count outs, can't keep his mouth shut. Everything we expected.
Roster #2 - Kosuke Fukudome - Little tip - it helps if you face the plate when the ball crosses it. Stop spinning, even if it is June.
Roster #3 - Kevin Gregg - Not exactly the dominant closer we were all looking for. Neither was Wood, but this guy's last name ain't Wood.
Roster #4 - Geovany Soto - Thought his weight gain in the offseason was rookie laziness. Turns out it was the munchies.
Roster #5 - Ted Lilly - Nobody liked this sign and nobody was right about what was to happen. Only All-Star candidate on the team this year.
Roster #6 - Carlos Marmol - Still can't close the Dutch, let alone an ML team. 12 balls then 9 strikes. You can almost set your watch to it.
Roster #7 - Aaron Miles - When you're batting .203, you're not a switch hitter. You're a switch stander.
Roster #8 - Micah Hoffpauir - The Hoff. That's right, the Hoff. 71 games in and he's still the Hoff. Boo-yah.
Roster #9 - Jake Fox - Never before has one dimensional play been so awesome.
Roster #10 - Derrek Lee - Suddenly realized that the Hoff can play 1st base. Hasn't stopped hitting since. In May, this is a different entry
Roster #11 - Aramis Ramirez - The savior of the Cubs, assuming he gets his stroke back before September and keeps it past October 1.
Roster #12 - Mike Fontenot - Your 2009 starting 2nd baseman - unfortunately. Following the trend of our other lefties.
Yeah, yeah..the rest of these are late. I'm working on it...

8-10-09 - You know what - these useless a-holes aren't worth finishing this roster. Get back to me at the end of september...

Roster #13 - Coming July 1
Roster #14 - Coming July 2
Roster #15 - Coming July 3
Roster #16 - Coming July 4
Roster #17 - Coming July 5
Roster #18 - Coming July 6
Roster #19 - Coming July 7
Roster #20 - Coming July 8
Roster #21 - Coming July 9
Roster #22 - Coming July 10
Roster #23 - Coming July 11
Roster #24 - Coming July 12
Roster #25 - Coming July 13

Reflections

I've been asked about more regular postings - any why not after all, and I was trying to keep up with the "Reflections" posts, but frankly how many different way can you say - Gawd- these guys ain't hitting. Yes there was that brief shining moment from Thurs - Sunday when the Cubs managed to beat a bad Sox team and then sweep a really crappy Indians team, but beyond those four days - newsflash - the Cubs have completely and totally 100% without exception sucked pretty large hemorrhoids.

Guess what folks - this is rapidly shaping into a repeat of the 2004 season. And Jimmy Henny is a large part of that - dismantling a team that won 97 games and repalcing them with inferior parts.

It is a freaking died int he wool miracle that the Cubs are only 3.5 games out of first right now. An absolute God-send. This, folks is a .500 team. Period. As the half way point approaches, we'll re-do the roster breakdown. In fact, let's start now - on twitter and here, leading up to the All Star Game.

Stay tuned.

Nearing the half-way point..

Anyone remember this?
http://oneminutecubs.blogspot.com/2009/04/predictions.html

Yep, as the Cubs play game #73, we near the half way point. We'll take a look at some stats at that point and see how woefully wrong I was, and still am.

I for one am not looking forward to this, but you undoubtedly are...

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Soriao needs a nap and other changes.

Lou recently talked aobut some "tough decisions" to come. One of those tough decisions better not be putting Soriano at second. Soriano needs to sit for a while. I was initially thinking a couple of days, but I saw a commenter somewhere suggest a DL stint, and maybe that's not such a bad idea either. Although the prospect of putting in someone who's actually worse defensively (read the Hoff or Fox) kinda scares me. But as long as someone's there who can hit, I'll take it.

Some other names that popped into my head during my 1 hour commute this morning of guys who might be available at positions we can actually change - Miguel Tejada - could play third for a while, then move back to short when Ramirez comes back, then put Theriot or Fontenot (whichever you didn'th ave to move to get Tajada) at second.

Dan Uggla - not thrilled by his defense, but he's shown a relatively consistent and decent power bat.

Brain Roberts - oh yeah. I went there. Not sure how trade-for-able he is tho. Granted these are just names with no research or anything, just names I've heard might be available going to positions we can change.

More on this later.

Friday, June 12, 2009

Vindication...

This pretty much sums up the day:

Yeah, I'm a Bad Ass.


OMG! I'm a dumbass!


What a dumbass...

You F^cking Dumbass...

Bobby Abreu watch - .297/.398/.415/.814

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Disclaimer

Hey folks, listen up, cuz I'm only gonna say this once.

I'm a blogger, not a journalist, and barely a "writer" though I do use the English language better than a lot. I don't have a press pass, I don't have any inside contacts, and the longest conversation I've ever had with an athlete was Mark Grace when I was 12 ("Hi!" "How are you?"). So everything I say is baseless. None of it has any substance and for the most part, unless I quote statistics, I don't even research this stuff. Most of what I say is my opinion based on what I see on TV or hear on the radio. Nothing more. If ever there comes a time that I do have anything of substance to report, I will probably die of shock and I WILL cite my sources.

Meantime, enjoy the dialogue, and by dialogue, I mean the posts, and by posts I mean...yeah.

One thing I can say for certain tho - Rickie Weeks does indeed suck - and suck a lot.

Been a while...

Ok, ok, so I've neglected my throngs of readers here on OMC. I've been tweeting up a storm tho, so hopefully you follow me over there. But in general, I haven't had much more than 140 characters worth to say.
One update - Milton Bradley shall henceforth be known as "The Mistake" - he still sucks.
Jake Fox was sent to the minors to make way for switch hitting Miles - nice move - actually - he could use the consistent AB's so I don't have too much of a problem with that.
Derrek Lee no longer sucks monkey balls. He's been upgraded to just not hitting for power, which still sucks, but...
Fuku has shocked the baseball world by not sucking in June.
Soto has shocked the baseball world by continuing to suck into June.
Ted Lilly is emerging as the Ace of the staff, tho Z did have a good showing last night.
Guzman is seeking full time employment in Marmol's job.

More to come undoubtedly...

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Missed opportunity...

So McClouth is a Brave now. This rather irritates me because, once again, as I called for back in Nov-Dec. I'd rater see McClouth in a Cubs uniform than Milt. Coulda saved us a bunch of money, gotten some speed and power in the lineup and prevented the necessity of other bone-headed moves (Read: DeRosa). Coulda had Mickey in center, and Fuku in right.

Now a move doesn't make sense, unless you're dumping Milt or Fuku - yeah right. So good for the Braves. Bad for Jimmy.

WSOX is on the air...

Well, congratulations Sox fans - you've got your own radio station now. The Score announced today that Dan McNeil - formerly of the Mac, Jerko and Harry show - will join the WSCR team on June 15th, replacing Holmes, Hampton and Murphy, and virtually guaranteeing that any talk about the Northsiders will be minimal and as negative as possbile. Granted, that won't be that hard this season. WSCR hasn't officially gone so far as to change their call letters to WSOX, but they've made their intentions pretty clear with this move.

Mac worked out so well for the ESPNers that he was both suspended and fired within the space of the last year, so have fun with that Scoreians. I will keep my radio locked firmly on WGN or ESPN, when I bother to venture into the AM world at all.

Murph - you weren't the best host in the world, but at least you could reliably at least refer to the Cubs on about a daily basis, and that will be missed. LHolmes and Hampton - I wasn't always awake for your show, but whne I was, it was ok to listen to, tho you're both far more football oriented than I normally care for.

So, to sum up, congratualtions Sox fans - you have your own station now. I'm sure you'll flock to the station in droves - as long as they keep winning. First losing streak, and I'm sure the Score will see how much a good idea it is to align their station with Sox fans.

P.S. All Score references from here on out will be referred to as "WSOX"

Thursday, May 28, 2009

No Defense...

Headline: Chicago Cubs' Jim Hendry defends Mark DeRosa trade

That should read: Jim Hendry attempts to explain his long series of bone headed moves, which happened to include Mark DeRosa. It included this little nugget:
"But there wasn't anywhere else to get left-handed, you know. And over time, I think we will see that we got pretty good guys for him. So we mixed and matched some of the dollars that were made with [DeRosa] and other guys who are not here, and added the guys that we did."

Ok, first of all, if I hear one more Cubs guys say the words "left-handed", in relation to bats of bullpen, one more time I'm going to go Farnsworth on your ass.

Second of all - let's examine how these lefties have improved the team:

DeRosa - 266/.333/.446/.779
Miles - .204/.250/.265/.515
Bradley - .200/.328/.390/.718
Fontenot - .223/.309/.385/.693

Wow...those lefties are really hitting the sh*t out of the ball huh?
Oh and PS. DeRosa has more homers than the other three...COMBINED!

And let's not forget
Blanco - .182/.262/.364/.626
Bako - Currently working as a boat cleaner in Dayton, OH.

As it turns out, Hill blows both out of the water, so to be fair - that one doesn't hurt too much.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Dumb A$$ things people have said about the Cubs

Constantly updated. Here's a few that have already happened (from twitter):

Mar 10th - Headline: "Vizcaino in jeopardy of losing spot in Cubs' bullpen" - WHAT? You mean he's not the ace out of the bullpen we all thought he was?

Apr 22nd - Headline: "Bradley returns to Cubs' lineup vs. Reds" Still can't hit.

Apr 26th - Headline: "Cubs seek clutch hitting in finale with Cards" - Actually, we'll just settle for hitting.

Apr 26th - Ron Santo quote of the day - "He definitely I think may be swinging. Or maybe not."

Apr 29th - Headline: "Unfazed Soto returns to Cubs' lineup" - Really? Cuz from here he looks fazed

Apr 30th - Headline: "So far, Hendry's moves haven't worked out for Cubs" - Oh my God! What a scoop!

May 3rd - The next one's my own dipsh*ttedness
Quade needs realize that Having DLee on deck is that much more reason to send the freakin' runner! Posted before Lee's AB for the record.
Derrek Lee then hit a Grand Slam, literally seconds after I posted that...

May 10th - Headline: Elbow injury has Cubs' Fox facing uncertain future (AP) - It should read "Fox having trouble accepting pretty darn certain future"

May 24th - Headline: NL scout: 'Derrek Lee doesn't drive the ball like he used to' - OMG! Really? Are you sure? I mean you DO have a scout's trained eye...

May 25th - Quote - And with the $15.65 million Aramis Ramirez on the disabled list, the $30 million Milton Bradley hitting .188 with a pitcher-esque .310 slugging average and 2008 rookie of the year Geo Soto still stuck at .202, Piniella's options for shakeups fall somewhere between few and none. - It's interesting because in this example, he cites the two positions - Right field and Catcher - that actually DO have "options for shakeups". Ahem Hoffpaiur and Hill.

May 28th - Headline: "Cubs Hendry defends trading away Mark DeRosa" - Yeah. Davy Crocket defended the Alamo...how'd that work out for him?

June 19th - Heeadline: "Cubs GM Jim Hendry wouldn't hesitate to deal" - Really? Cuz from here it looks like hesitating...
More to undoubtedly come...

June 28th - Headline: "Marmol isn't ready to give up his All-Star dreams" - Get Ready......Fast

June 29th - Headline: "Soriano needs final push for All-Star start" - Great. Happy to help. Where's the cliff?

July 16th - Headline: "Piniella meets President Obama" Any chance of a Bradley Bailout? How about Soriano relief? What's FEMA's position on bullpens?

August 13th - Headline: "Cubs look to finish season series [vs. Phillies] strong" - At this point, we'll settle for "not weak"

August 19th - via Twitter - @PWSullivan Cubs have no answers for August slide. - Oh really? How about the 2009 slide?

August 19th - Musky the Cub's blog - "8/19 Hendry: "It's 'whatever it takes' time" - Except of course actually doing anything...

August 23rd - Headline: Dodgers slap Cubs 2-0; Soriano open to some time off - You mean like, the next 5 years?

Friday, May 22, 2009

Knock Knock Knock

So, now we know the asking price for Peavy - two young ML ready pitchers with strong potential and two lower level prospects. Interesting. I'm still not thrilled at the prospect of a 4 for 1 swap, but Peavy called out Hendry - I'm here...just waiting for you to man up. "Middle America" cough cough Chicago cough cough. Peavy all but said I'm not going anywhere but Chicago - north Chicago that is. So bring him in Jimmy. Maybe he can catch a plane with us on Sunday...

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Jake Peavy to White Sox?

Sigh..

This would just be the final nail in the coffin that is the utter dismal failure of an offseason that Jim Hendry had. Have at him White Sox. Good for you. If anyone needs me, I'll be on the ledge.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Strike three called

Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called

Damn. It's really f%*ing annoying watching the same thing over and over again isn't it????
Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Who the heck is "The Miz"???

So wrestling came to town the other night allowing dozens of trailer park security guards to take the night off. During this little Hicks Gone Wild soap opera, some dude called "The Miz" called out Soriano who was, unbelivably, actually there, and proceeded to bash Alfy and our beloved Cubbies, using all the standard cliches and proving that WWE script writers are drastically overpaid and should probably be returned to their respective zoos.

Here's the thing Mr. Miz.:
A. there are many many easier targets on the Cubs to rip this year. Sori's actually been somewhat of a Godsend this year, so bashing him only further illustrates your ignorance.
B. It will take more on your resume than "has been MTV reality show cast member" before anyone takes you seriously.
C. Sori makes more money per games than you d in a year.
D. Unlike your occupation and your wife's orgasms, what Sorino does is real.

So sit down Miz, come up with a stage name that doesn't make you sound like a pompous woman, and most importantly - Know your role and shut your mouth!

Saturday, May 9, 2009

It kinda makes me wonder...

How many other failed center fielders we can send to the Orioles. Or right fielders for that matter. Patterson, Pie, Gathright - Here's the best part, the Orioles are sending us cash to make up for Freel's Salary. So let's examine this trade a bit -

Gathright - a "Speed guy" who's gotten picked off more often than the's actualyl stolen a base.
Freel - "Super-utility" man with the versatility of DeRosa, but not the bat.

I'll take Freel. Granted in this case he's the lesser of two evils, but if Piniella had any sense he wouldn't even give Gathright an uniform any more.

Hendry has just pulled off his first successful move since last October. So he's like 1 for 12, which coincidentally is also Freel's BA.

Friday, May 8, 2009

What does it take???

This is mostly directed to Aaron Miles and Milton Bradley but would someone please tell me whose rod we have to suck to get these pansies to swing the freakin' bats??? Are the Cubs just believing too much of their own press about how "patient" they are at the plate? Time and timw again just staring glass-eyed while the umpire calls strike 3. Aaron and Milt are by far the biggest offenders, but they're all doing it. Patience at the plate means exactly d*ck if you strike out every other AB.

So step up and swing the bats for crap's sake.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Manny goes down.

OMFG

All the posturing, all the glamour, all the crap.

He's Barry Freakin' Bonds. No wonder he wouldn't cut his hair.

About Booing...

Booing is a necessary part of the fan experience. It's overused and imprecise, but it's our right to do it.
Before the Home Opener, fans booed Glendon Rusch and Jason Marquis - why? Jason Marquis was traded - and probably shouldn't have been - either way - no choice there.
Glendon Rusch - c'mon the guy almost died. And the Cubs held onto him for the rest of the season when he almost died. He recovered and went elsewhere - that's not Booable - that's applaudable.

But anyway....Now, if all the fans could simultaneously say "Gee Lou, this lineup sucks" or "Hey Theriot, we really think you should've caught that ball", then yes booing in general is a bad idea. We however do not have the ability to sync up 40,000 voices to deliver a message - so we boo.

You're all big boys - get over it or get off the field. Go play in Kansas City where they expect mediocrity. Not here. Not any more.

Now shut up and stop screwing up.

Reflections on the Last week.

Normally, I'll reflect on each series, but it's been a weird week.
Good homestand bookended but complete nonsense.
Overall - That's more like it.
Last Friday - wtf?
Last Tuesday WTF?????
The "Lincecum Lineup" needs to go - you did a great misservice to the fans and Marshall throwing that crap out there.
The booing on Friday and Tuesday were WELL DESERVED.
The other games were more on par what we've come to expect. Friday and Tuesday were what we USED to expect.
Lou this isn't golf - you don't get a lineup mulligan.
I'm probably not done talking about the "Lincecum Lineup"

Friday, May 1, 2009

5 Reasons not to panic.

5. 87% of the season is left.

4. The Cardinals, Brewers, Reds, and Pirates are not that good.

3. The Cubs are not this bad.

2. Alfonso Soriano is showing more patience at the plate, and hitting the piss out of the ball for the past 30 days - well beyond his normal pattern

1. The Cubs started slow last year too - not THIS slow, but slow. In 2007, they were worse (10-14) and we remember how that season ended.

Five reasons to Panic

5. Virtually every move Jim Hendry made over the offseason has failed thus far.

4. Derrek Lee is still batting in the middle of the order.

3. Marmol's losing ways from the WBC don't seem to have ended with the WBC

2. The bullpen can't seem to find the strike zone with both hands and a flashlight.

1. 13% of the season is over

Thursday, April 30, 2009

Monkeys playing with their own poop

Would someone please explain to me why we're all root root rooting for these
dipsh1ts? What are we thinking? Adding insult to injury tonight, Lou Piniella has gone freakin batty now. Let's examine this move here -

Well, gee, I've got my left-handed (remember the l;eft handed crap????) third-baseman whoi is noramlly a second baseman playing out of position, comeing up to bat against a leftly reliever. I have the Hoff, Johnson, Ramirez, and Soto on my bench (and Gathright, but we don't really count him), let's see who I should pinch hit with -
A. The Hoff - nah lefty lefty combo.
B. Soto - Eh, he's been kinda weak recently, and I'm not sure I want to use my backup catcher in a pinch hitting role.
C. Ramirez - Pinch hit a natural, right handed, clutch hitting, third baseman for a third baseman playing out of position?

No, no, no. Here's a better idea - I'll pinch hit my weak-hitting center fielder, and THEN, I'll play my catcher at third base and put my backup catcher behind the plate.

Now, go ahead. Tell me I'm second-guessing. F-You. F-You hard at night. this isn't second guessing. This is common freaking sense.

What in God's name are we watching here????

Twittering Tweets

Just FYI folks - I update twitter far more often than I do the blog. If it can be said in 140 char or less, that's where it goes.

Most folks would say I'm more tolerable in small doses anyway...

I also accept any and all friend requests on Facebook.

http://oneminutecubs.blogspot.com/2009/03/omc-on-web.html

Reflections on Arizona

Lefties scare the bejesus out of our newly-refurbished left handed lineup.
In order to be successful, you have to know your role, even if that means you have to sit down for the currently-superior catcher - Koyie Hill.
Lou doesn't know that.
Arizona is not a Cub-friendly environment.
May may not be considered "early" anymore.
The Cubs got off to a slow start last year too - but not this slow.
Derrek needs to move down.
Milt tripled his hit count over the weekend and broke that elusive triple-digit batting average barrier.
The Cubs can walk in runs too.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

Reflections on St. Louis

The Cardinals are better than we all expected.
The Cubs aren't.
One cannot expect an offensive onslaught when one's four best hitters can't play - unless it's Sunday
Lou Piniella is Milton Bradley's prison b-$%6.
Tony LaRussa and Dave Duncan's kung fu is very strong
Daddy got Chris Duncan his job - that and the fact that he can hit the piss out of the ball.
Ron Santo is only alive because Pat Hughes keeps pulling him off the ledge.
It's only 17 games in, so it's early. But not THAT early.
We have found the one bench player even more worthless than Felix Pie - and he jumps over BMW's.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Top ten reasons why Jim Hendry sucked (base)balls this offseaon

The top 5 involve Mark DeRosa.
10. Signed Paul Bako to a 1 year deal worth $750,000 as backup catcher, only to realize later that a guy who cut off his hand catches throws and bats better. Meanwhile, the mentor of your now slumping primo catcher signed for the same price to the Padres.
9. Failed to close the door on Jake Peavy while the Padres were in a position of weakness. Now they're winning, and we suck. Good for you for not taking the ridiculous 5 for 1 deal, but you shoulda whittled it down to a 3 for 1 or something similar.
8. Signed the hot headed, but who really gives a crap about that, and more importantly INJURY PRONE Milton Bradley who right now is a 30-million dollar bench player.
7. Failed to resign Kerry Wood for a 1 year deal. Even at 10 million, which I honestly don't beleive it would've taken, he effectively turned a huge strength last year into a huge weakness this year. The loss of a dominant power pitcher at the end of the bullpen cannot be unerestimated.
6. Focused far too much on which side of the plate someone stands on without paying attention to other minor points, like i don't know, the ability to play.

And now...the D-Ro 5....

5. Traded Mark DeRosa, eliminating a clubhouse leader, a versatile player, a clutch hitter, and a fan favorite - not a good days work.
4. Attempted to repalce him with Aaron Miles, who is a switch hitter, but only plays middle infield positions. This would be the same Aaron Miles who the Cardinals did not want. This would be the same Cardinals who are now using a left fielder to play second base - Miles' position. If that's not a warning sign, I don't know what is.
3. Effectively eliminated a reasonable backup for Aramis Ramirez, who by the way, had to leave yesterday's game iwth a calf strain and seems headed for the DL.
2. Only received 3 prospects in the trade. Yes, I said prospects, not one of which is even close to ML ready. This move did not ultimately culminate in a Peavy trade making it a complete and total failure.
1. With two players not playing - Milt and Ramy - the missing D-Ro is magnified because he played both of those positions remarkably well.

So, in summary, while I have been a Hendry fan in the past, this past winter we completely dropped his kibble and obsessed with left-handed hitting, when just hitting would've sufficed.

Friday, April 24, 2009

You reap what you sow

Here is the latest and greatest from Musky the cub. Bradley, it seems doesn't like talking about being injured or him not hitting.
"You come in here and all they want to talk about is how often you get hurt and your attitude and everything. I've given them an example right off the bat. I just don't feel like getting caught up in all the negativity."

Here's a thought Milt - Stop getting hurt and hit the ball. Guess what? You can't not be hurt - this should be old to you by now. You've been on the DL so often, people are starting to think you retired. Get over it. You can't come to Chicago and be surprised that people - and by the way I should say - a $^&%load of people want to talk about you being a hot head in a wheelchair.

If the shoe fits, Milty.

Oh and by the way -

Abreu - AVG - .373 OBP - .433 SLG - .407 OPS - .840

I'm not sayin' - I'm just sayin'

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Reflections on Cincy

Ouch...that one hurt.
The first series we lost this year - Cincy.
Their pitching is pretty good.
Ours isn't.
Griffy? Dunn? Who needs 'em?
2 weeks does not a season make, but batting below the Mendoza line does not a baseball player make.
Ahem, Fontenot, Miles, Bradley.
Lilly may very well be the most consistently good pitcher on this staff.
That's a scary thought.
Samardzija may not be the answer.
We're not sure what the question is yet.
Soriano is not carrying us any more. Our 10 days are up. Please check back around the end of May. And as always, thank you for calling.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

The Return of Dusty...

Here's a story by Gordo Today - We're gonna break this one down a bit...

Three years later, all Dusty Baker has to do is walk on the field to make a pitching change with his new team, and the boos rain down from the stands at Wrigley Field -- the chorus every time he emerged from the Cincinnati dugout Tuesday night.

Cubs veterans who played for him in Chicago day he doesn't deserve it.


Um, yeah, he kinda does...MAYBE 3 years is a little extreme, but, yeah....he kinda does..

''I don't really understand it. I don't know what he did to still be getting booed here,'' said first baseman Derrek Lee, whose Florida Marlins ended Baker's first-year October run with the Cubs in 2003 before he played the next three seasons under Baker.

Well Derrek - he kinda sucked - a lot and failed to keep the team from sucking and made LaTroy a closer, and played Neifi all the time, and killed Wood and Prior's arms, and you get the idea....

''It's a little disappointing,'' he added.

So was 2006...

''It wasn't his fault,'' said third baseman Aramis Ramirez, who played all four seasons with Baker in Chicago. ''I mean, nobody could manage that team we had in [2006]. We had guys coming from AA. [Carlos] Marmol was a starter. We had Juan Mateo -- you guys don't even remember him, probably. We just had a bad team, and it's not his fault.

I know A-Ram...you're so right. I mean that'd be a improbable as, oh I don't know, managing an 83 win team into a World Series title...

''If you give Dusty a good team, I guarantee, he'll be in the playoffs, too.'

If you give ME a good team, I'll get you in the playoffs...

And Lou, I might actually win a game....