Sunday, May 24, 2009

Dumb A$$ things people have said about the Cubs

Constantly updated. Here's a few that have already happened (from twitter):

Mar 10th - Headline: "Vizcaino in jeopardy of losing spot in Cubs' bullpen" - WHAT? You mean he's not the ace out of the bullpen we all thought he was?

Apr 22nd - Headline: "Bradley returns to Cubs' lineup vs. Reds" Still can't hit.

Apr 26th - Headline: "Cubs seek clutch hitting in finale with Cards" - Actually, we'll just settle for hitting.

Apr 26th - Ron Santo quote of the day - "He definitely I think may be swinging. Or maybe not."

Apr 29th - Headline: "Unfazed Soto returns to Cubs' lineup" - Really? Cuz from here he looks fazed

Apr 30th - Headline: "So far, Hendry's moves haven't worked out for Cubs" - Oh my God! What a scoop!

May 3rd - The next one's my own dipsh*ttedness
Quade needs realize that Having DLee on deck is that much more reason to send the freakin' runner! Posted before Lee's AB for the record.
Derrek Lee then hit a Grand Slam, literally seconds after I posted that...

May 10th - Headline: Elbow injury has Cubs' Fox facing uncertain future (AP) - It should read "Fox having trouble accepting pretty darn certain future"

May 24th - Headline: NL scout: 'Derrek Lee doesn't drive the ball like he used to' - OMG! Really? Are you sure? I mean you DO have a scout's trained eye...

May 25th - Quote - And with the $15.65 million Aramis Ramirez on the disabled list, the $30 million Milton Bradley hitting .188 with a pitcher-esque .310 slugging average and 2008 rookie of the year Geo Soto still stuck at .202, Piniella's options for shakeups fall somewhere between few and none. - It's interesting because in this example, he cites the two positions - Right field and Catcher - that actually DO have "options for shakeups". Ahem Hoffpaiur and Hill.

May 28th - Headline: "Cubs Hendry defends trading away Mark DeRosa" - Yeah. Davy Crocket defended the'd that work out for him?

June 19th - Heeadline: "Cubs GM Jim Hendry wouldn't hesitate to deal" - Really? Cuz from here it looks like hesitating...
More to undoubtedly come...

June 28th - Headline: "Marmol isn't ready to give up his All-Star dreams" - Get Ready......Fast

June 29th - Headline: "Soriano needs final push for All-Star start" - Great. Happy to help. Where's the cliff?

July 16th - Headline: "Piniella meets President Obama" Any chance of a Bradley Bailout? How about Soriano relief? What's FEMA's position on bullpens?

August 13th - Headline: "Cubs look to finish season series [vs. Phillies] strong" - At this point, we'll settle for "not weak"

August 19th - via Twitter - @PWSullivan Cubs have no answers for August slide. - Oh really? How about the 2009 slide?

August 19th - Musky the Cub's blog - "8/19 Hendry: "It's 'whatever it takes' time" - Except of course actually doing anything...

August 23rd - Headline: Dodgers slap Cubs 2-0; Soriano open to some time off - You mean like, the next 5 years?

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