Wednesday, December 31, 2008
De-Ro is coming off a career year, and actually his numbers have only gotten better since getting here. But he is also in the lkast year of his contract, and Hendry would not be resigning him for more than he already signed for, so DeRosa was gone at the end of the year anyway. May as well get something for him now. Milers offers less field flexibility for more plate flexibility, which is where the Cubs failed 3 months ago.
Marquis was a good 5th starter. In many rotations he's a decent 3rd starter. So's Sean Marshall. We can totally live without him.
All of this though, just reeks of something bigger. Some maneuvering that will send 5 players to San Diego. Something like a Cendeno, Pie, two of the 3 prospects we just picked up and maybe a Rich Hill.
It's possbile. And it's also the only thing that will make this DeRosa crap not suck.
Sunday, December 7, 2008
The complete text of Greg Maddux's retirement speech to be given tomorrow. That's right tomorrow. Don't ask how I got it. It involved bribes, a solid "second story man" and a drunken panda, but I done did got it.
And I'm gonna share it with you.
You ready? Here it is. Every eloquent word that will flow from the master's mouth in just a touch over 24 hours. I'm sure you can imagine how Grego will convey this monumental decision of his. Well, now you don't have to. Here it is.
"I've decided to retire. Thanks."
Boo-yah baby! You tell 'em Greg!
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Headline: Cubs freeze 33 percent of ticket prices
Umm, that means they're raising 67 percent of ticket prices. Oh and adding a new "price tier". So let's recap the price tiers:
Economy - We recognize that everyone in baseball has cheap prices every now and again, so we'll give you 3-5 games - but only when the temperature is below 50 degrees and it's so cold, your only possibility of relief is drinking yourself warm and numb.
Regular - This is our normal price structure. Yes, these games only happen before June and after August, but it's "Normal"
Premium - June - August, otherwise known as the only really great time to coem out and watch a game. There are more premium games, than normal games. Wouldn't that make this "normal" then?
New Tier - Also known as the "Second Mortgage Tier" - You didn't actually want to come see one of these games did you? No problem, just skip a car payment or two, and come on out to the old ballpark.
All White Sox games will be in this last tier BTW. Try and hide your surprise. For a minute at least...
Thursday, December 4, 2008
You know what? That no-hitter wasn't about Lou, and wasn't about the Cubs, and it wasn't about Zambrano. That no hitter, and every no hitter is about baseball. It's about the magic that happens just every so often and when it happens you have to respect it. You have to respect the game and it's moments. And then, you get to sit back and just say "Wow." THAT'S why we all watch the game. That's why it's so special. Every once in a while, we get to see history, and recognize it for what it is at that moment. Not a year later, not a decade later, but right here, right now, THIS is history. And that deserves respect.
Screw John Kruk!
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
On the continued rumblings -- notably out of San Diego -- that the Cubs still might be pursuing starting pitching, such as the Padres' Jake Peavy or free agent Randy Johnson, even after the Ryan Dempster signing: ''No. Starting we don't need. We're set. We've got six good starters [including Sean Marshall], and they're all experienced. Getting Dempster back was the key. We're in good shape with our starting pitching. Bullpen-wise, [we're looking for] possibly one more experienced pitcher. We've got a lot of young kids out there.''
The Padres are trying to cut costs, and acquiring Marquis wouldn't do that. He's owed $9.875 million in 2009. The Cubs headed into the offseason knowing they could afford either Dempster or Peavy, but not both.
Two sources in one day. Yeah...would've been nice, but I guess Jake will be getting his snuggles elsewhere...
Thursday, November 20, 2008
The San Diego Padres say the Cubs are still interested in trading for right-hander Jake Peavy. The Cubs, however, insist they would need to be very creative with their finances and get another team involved to swing a deal.
So here's the question. What to do? A month ago, I would've said go after Peavy all hard and old school. However now, after a bit of reflection, here's your rotation-
Zambrano, Dempster, Lilly, Harden, Marquis.
I can actually live with that. Right now, the need is a bat. The Cubs will tell you they need a left handed bat. I would argue that they need a bat that can hit righties as well as lefties. But let's say for the sake of argument, we need a left handed bat.
Looking back if anything failed the team during the season/offseason, it was offense. Due partially to the fact the Kosuke dropped his kibble in the last half of the season, and D-Lee forgot how to hit home runs. So given that, it would seem the offense has to be the bigger priority. So, Jake, unless Towers folds, looks like you're off to somwhere else, or stuck on that crap-ace team. At least the beach is nice eh?
It's good to see that Handry and Dempster did the right thing. The deal Demp signed is fair, prolly a little home-town discount, but again, what can you do with 60mil that you can't do with 50?
Now Ryan - this is not a license to suck. At least not for a few more years...
Definitely more than a minute
Saturday, November 15, 2008
So is this kinda a if you can't beat 'em join 'em philosphy? I don't have a major problem with himReplacing Marquis. Prolly get us a few more wins. He's definitely not the Johnson of old, now he's just Johnson old.
So, noiw, thinknig ahead - Peavy, Zambrano, Lilly, Harden, Johnson?
Peavy, Zambrano, Lilly, Dempster, Johnson (with Harden gonig to Pads for Peavy)
Just a thought. for a mninute
"Sorry Wood, we can't pony up the dough for ya, so go, get your big, long-term contract. We'll still respect you in the morning."
"Um actually Jim, my wife and I have talked aobut it and we'd like to stay. If you can't do a long term thing now, I get that. So let's do a year and figure it out next year."
"No really, Woody. we're good here. We'll miss you and we hate to let you walk away..."
"But Jim. Seriously, Whatever you think is fair. it's all good."
"Aww Woody, it hurts so much, but we just can't afford you."
"Ok, so what. Maybe like a mil. How's that sound?"
"Woody, poor poor Woody. You'll be missed. The fans all love you and you're a good closer too. Say hi to Walt for me."
"Jim. how 'bout half mil. how bout the league minimum. Seriously, I've got cash, I'm not worried aobut it."
"No...it's horrible, we just cant' afford a pitcher of your great skill..."
"Jim. Tell you what. Buy me a Happy Meal, and I'll see you in February. Cool?"
"Oh Woody, I'm so sorry we can't scrape the fund together to keep you."
So really Jim. WTF? Woody offers you not only a 1 year deal, but undoubtedly way below market value, and you piss him away because you got Kevin Gregg? What is the REAL reason you don't want Woody here? We're listening. Speak up. Why did you not sign Wood to a 1 year deal and make our bullpen that much better? Why Jim. Your reasons are bulls@#$. Tell us the real reason. This is far and away the WORST move you have made in your time here, and we just want to know why.
Can you spare us a minute to explain?
Friday, November 14, 2008
From Paul Sullivan -
While Wood was understanding about the Cubs' decision, which Hendry said was made in the best interests of Wood and his family, he did say he would've been amenable to staying and "would have done anything" to stay a Cub. The Cubs told him to go get a three- or four-year deal for more money, but Wood said he would've agreed to a one-year deal to stay.
So Woody's available to stay for one year, like I suggested in my previous post, and you say no thanks?? Are you freakin' kidding me? Why? so you can be Woody's buddy and let him walk and significantly deplete our bullpen.
Jim...Get Kerry on the phone, and beg him to come back...at elast for a minute. The guy wants to stay...don't be a d#$%...
Thursday, November 13, 2008
I swear he better not end up in St. Louis.
So now we get this Gregg guy. 9, yes that's right Nine blown saves last year. He didn't cost us anything really. Just some kid who MAY grow up to be big and strong, but no help right now. But I also see it as, we lost Woody too.
Now, it's possible that Hendry is assuming Woody wants big bucks, or more prohibitively, big years, but maybe Woody, being the good Chicago guy he is, write another blank check. Gimme one more year to get through the sale and get your lefty bat, then we'll talk some business.
Maybe, but I don't see it. Well, fare thee well Kerry. This is just the latest in a long line of disappointments coming from your career. If you end up in St. Louis or Milwaukee, I hope you vomit up your own appendix.
Seriously, he better have enough respect to go out of the central division. If not, he's just a bee-otch.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Don't get me wrong, I was salivating over that rotation just a couple of weeks ago. But, if I remember correctly, and I'm quite sure I do, let's play a little pretend.
The Cubs get Peavy and send away oh say Pie, Marshall, Marquis (while eating some salary), and say a minor leaguer.
With the rotation of Peavy, Zambrano, Dempster, Lilly, Harden, and Marmol closing, I'm projecting, all things being equal, the following -
95 games in which the Cubs lead or are tied after 5th inning
25 games in which the lead is lost after the 5th inning
30 games in which long relief is needed, long relief defined as starting nit he 4th inning or earlier.
30 games in which the Cubs come back/win late.
Granted this is plus or minus 10%. But what it all adds up to is -
3 more losses in October.
1,000,000 "World Championship" t-shirts destroyed.
And at least another minute in the spotlight before wilting under the pressure...
"Blagojevich heaped praise on nearly every one mentioned, but refused to name any front-runners and said he hadn't even thought about it yet out of fear he would "jinx" Obama."
Yet this is the same guy who showed up for a Cubs Post season rally before THAT started...So Blago jinxed us? What the heck? You gotta get your priorities straight man. I mean this is the World Series we're talking about...not some stupid election...
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Dempster Will Test Open Market
So Ryan says he won't sign with the Cubs before other teams have had their say. So, Ryan lemme get this straight - We signed you fresh off of Tommy John, put you in the bullpen into the closer job you wanted, left you there even though the fans wanted you dead (except me and I will argue that til my dying day), and then put you in the rotation like you asked, but F-you, I wanna talk to some other teams?
Tell you what - how about you go work at WalMart (because that's where you would've ended up had we not gotten your crippled a-hole off the scrap heap) for a couple days, then get back to us.
You're going to pitch here little boy. Hendry would be foolish not to sign you. You just want to squeeze as much money out as possible? What exactly can you do with 60 million that you can't do with 50? Greed...It's a deadly sin...
Hendry - Get he Padres on the line!
Think about that for a minute.
Saturday, October 25, 2008
I'll sum up...
Trade D-Lee for Matt Cain and lefty reliever Alex Hinshaw
Trade Sean Marshall, Ronny Cedeno, Michael Wuertz and Micah Hoffpauir for Aubrey Huff and Luke Scott
Sign a cheapie backup infielder like Alex Cintron and sign Kevin Millar
Trade Cain and Pie for Ricky Nolasco.
That's the gist of it. So let's take a look.
First of all, with all due respect to BCB for their very well thought out and insightful moves, but there are some I gotta turn my head funny and look at it and say huh?
First off, Fuku ain't goin' nowhere. He's here for AT LEAST another year. Now does he HAVE to be in the majors? Not necessarily.
Second, there is no way in God's green earth that the Giants make that deal as is, at least not without further depleting our farm system.
Third, oh great a trade with the Orioles. Yeah...we saw how well THAT worked out last year.
as far as departures are concerned, not only will I let most of those guys go, I'll help them pack and drive them to the airport. Micah, I'm not ready to pull the plug on just yet. Yes, he's an outfielder with power who tears the cover off the ball in the minors, and we've heard that story before. Didn't like that ending either.
Marshall is a good solid pitcher who isn't cutting it with this rotation, Wuertz and Cedeno - SECURITY!!!
D-LKee hurts, be he's by far the most tradable of the big three. And if he can get us a Matt Cain or Ricky Nolasco, I can live with it.
That's all I got for this minute. More later.
Alfonso Soriano, who had not been bitten by the injury bug prior to his signing with the Cubs has finally revealed a long-standing bug that has plagued him since his days in Washington. The good news is, there is a very-progressive therapy for this ailment.
Mark O'Neal, head trainer for the Cubs, explains the treatment. "Basically Alfonso will be preceded anywhere he goes by at elast one person. Always. He will never enter or exit a room first. He will hold doors open for others, male or female, never sit at a table first, he'll even wait for someone else to go to the bathroom."
Soriano's condition, Egomus Maximus, is severe in Soriano's case. It is trainer O'Neal's hope that this treatment is effective and gets Soriano back to where he needs to be. "You know, like 5th in the Batting Order."
Jim Hendry commented, "This is a pretty aggressive treatment. We think it'll go a long way toward curing what is clearly a very serious mental--I mean physical...PHYSICAL defect. Hoepfulyl it won't be too much of a problem going forward."
Soriano still has 6 years left on his contract. "I plan to work hard with this treatment during the offseason and come back ready to go next spring. Now if you'll excuse me, we need to leave." Soriano then held the door open for four people, before leaving himself.
Seems to be helping.
Not true, not true, but it would be nice....
Friday, October 24, 2008
"Mark Grace says Cubs rolled over in playoffs
Says team should be humiliated after its latest playoff debacle "
''They [bleeped] it up, honestly,''
''That's twice now that this same group of players has gone out and played tight. ... I mean, come on, dude, are you kidding me?
''And to get swept out, they really should be humiliated.''
"Honestly, that team for some reason, when [James] Loney hit that grand slam, you're only down two runs with five innings to play and that team just laid down. The place turned into a tomb. Damn, you're just down two, and you had come back all year. The team laid down."
(Chris De Luca) - And based on his words Thursday, Grace's color commentary might not fly in that overly sensitive clubhouse.
Nahhhh....he'll be fine...for a minute at least...
Monday, October 20, 2008
In an odd case of life imitates occupation, Reed Johnson was left at the alter by his recent and very attractive fiancee.
Previously, Johnson admits he'd been with a much less attractive partner for several years before she unexpectedly dumped him. Almost immediately, he hooked up with his current beau and was engaged to be married recently. Unfortunately, it didn't work out.
Johnson wasn't left as at the alter, per se, more like his wife-to-be couldn't find her way. After making perfect strides with the details such as the wedding reception, champagne, dress, flowers, caterer, chapel, etc. it seemed she just couldn't close the deal.
"She got lost on the way to the church. Funny thing, she's always the one with the map in the car, and throughout our relationship, she'd been dead on," Johnson said. "Just just couldn't produce in the clutch I guess...wait...are we still talking aobut Melissa?"
The status of Johnson's relationship is in flux. Melissa did state he might be a good alternate husband if one of three other candidates don't work out. She promises to not get lost next year...er..I mean next time.
We ARE still talking about Melissa, right?
Blah blah blah...if you believe this, go back to grader school, blah blah....
Friday, October 17, 2008
Reportedly the Pads want a couple of pitchers and a center fielder. Be nice if we could pawn off Marquis and Pie, pay some salary. Add in Sean Marshall? Marquis would fit well with that universe-sized outfield. I hate losing our best lefty out of the bullpen, but let's face it - Marshall is a starter and the Cubs right now are holding him back. Or...And here's a crazy thought.
Trade for Peavy, buh ye Dempster. Sure he caught lightning in a bottle, and maybe he'll be his dominant self for the rest of career. But I like what I see, not what I suspect. Peavy is a proven dominant innings eater year after year.
It'd be a nice deal, but honestly I can live with the rotation as is.
Just some interesting thought is all...
Here's a minute for ya.
"Union says teams colluded against Bonds (AP)"
So does it really matter if all the teams said "he sucks and we don't want his baggage or his B$%^ing" collectively as opposed to individually?
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Jim Edmonds announced his inclination to retire today at a press conference attended by this reporter, Edmonds' dog, and several hundred cheering Cardinals fans. "While I have not made a final decision, it would seem that this year with the Cubs has been the pinnacle of my career. Yes, I do have a couple of World Series rings, and I'm building a third fireplace mantle to house all of my Gold Gloves, but since Lou [Piniella] said the team had a great year, and just because we didn't win a game in the playoffs [again], it doesn't mean this year wasn't a very successful year."
I mean Lou Piniella has been in this game for a long time, since I was in high school as a matter of fact, so if he says it was great, then who am I to judge. I must conclude that this was as good as it will get, and go out on top."
Edmonds, who has been classified by several scouts as "older than dirt" and "still owes Jesus six bucks" and "can't even keep up with a Greg Maddux fastball" seemed to be in a decline at the beginning of the year. He found himself playing center field at Petco Park where it would take a jet pack, and several 8 balls of cocaine to successfully defend. However, after being released, he was picked up by the Cubs in what could be characterized as the shrewdest no-brainer move of Jim Hendry's career.
"Well, not just anybody could've committed the financial resources to take a flyer on Jimmy, but I figured it was worth a limo and a pack of chewing gum," commented Jim Hendry who will pay a portion of Jim Edmonds' next contract should he decide to continue his play elsewhere - not because he has to, just because that's just what Hendry does. "It's true," Hendry admitted with a shrug.
If Edmonds decides to retire, it would cap a long and distinguished career on a super high note, according to Manager Lou Piniella. "Well, uh...Jim...let me tell you about Jim...He's ahhhh, a good ball player, and I prefer red licorice. Yeah."
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
In a press released issued by Ronny Cedeno which was written on a cocktail napkin and stuck to our front door with bubble gum, the backup shortstop announced he was signing a contract with the Detroit Lions as a punt returner. "Just like the great Bo Jackson, I plan to become a two-sport athlete. I figure I'm bad enough at one, so maybe if I suck at two sports, no one will notice the other one too much. My therapist calls it 'deflection'."
Cedeno's thereapist could not be reached for comment.
Cedeno, who has been the subject of trade rumors fueled by the desire to just get Cedeno the heck out of town, has excelled at waiting on the bench to be called. It's after that calling that he needs to work on.
"We're confident in Ronny's ability to sit on the bench and watch each and every game until a blow out, and then get on that field and try not to make too much of an ass of himself," commented Jim Hendry. "I think the Lions will be a good fit for him."
"We're happy to have Ronny Cedeno join our club and continue our tradition of mediocrity in this franchise," said a spokesman for the Detroit Lions front office. "We know he'll get in there and suck less than he did in baseball, because to suck more, you'd have to be a black hole. You know, like Rickie Weeks."
Cedeno ended his press release with a threat to Chicago Cubs fans. "Don't worry. I plan to be right back at spring training next March, ready to contribute."
Once again...not true...except for the Rickie Weeks part...
Kosuke Fukudome, originally believed to know only sparse words in English was spotted yesterday in an Old Country Buffet, declaring how much he "loves that chocolate puddin'!"
A deeper background check revealed that Kosuke D. Fukudome of Tokyo does not in fact speak English and has been working in a pet store since he graduated from Japanese high school late at the age of 11. In fact, the Cubs' superstar outfielder, Kosuke Leroy Fukudome is actually an Oxford grad with degrees in business and acting, both of which served him well last spring while negotiating his four year, $48 million deal.
"Well, I guess the proverbial jig is up then, eh old boy?" said Fukudome when interviewed later. "It's a shame because I was so bloody careful during the season I thought I could relax now that my collapse was complete."
Fukudome has since fired his interpreter, revealing that he was only hired because he was a distant cousin that needed a job to support his extensive rabbit farm.
"Well I'll be darned" commented Jim Hendry. "I mean here I thought the guy didn't speak a word. I guess I'll have to fire my PI, but keep him on the payroll anyway."
Manager Lou Piniella who was recently spotted just outside Fenway park stamping his feet and cursing could not be reached for comment.
Disclaimer disclaimer disclaimer, None of this is even remotely true, disclaimer disclaimer.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Now, I ALWAYS wear a Cubs hat. Every day for as far back as I remember, but today, that seemed like a bad choice -Ya think?? Garsh..
So I actually picked up a 2005 White Sox championship hat that I'd bought back in 05. Say what you want, it was still pretty cool that a Chicago team won...I just didn't know the extent of a-hole ism I would have to put up with since, but anyway...
When in Rome right?
Wrong. I couldn't do it. I just couldn't bring myself to put it on. So I did the next best thing - grabbed a non-baseball team hat - yes I do own one or two.
When in Rome, you don't necessarily have to do what the Romans do, but you damn well better not do what the Persians do...
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Oh plus, Marmol gets in a car accident today. Minor injuries, but dude...Don't be driving at 2am. Doesn't take a genius to figure this out.
No, what to do about that pesky free agent market...
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Like the postseason roster, we'll go by category.
FA's the need to be re-signed -
Ryan Dempster - this is kinda a flyer, but THE most consistent starter wire to wire
Kerry Wood - Should be even better as a closer next year, especially if he gets a similar deal
Henry Blanco - A better backup catcher cannot be found.
FA not to be signed -
Daryle Ward - He's a pinch hitter. Forgot how to hit. You gonna hire a carpenter without a hammer? Nuff said.
Howry - Buh bye. In fact, who are you? I don't know this man. Security!
Not UNTOUCHABLE, but whoever we get better have the last name "Ramirez"
Carlos Zambrano - A headcase, yes. But too damn good to give up.
Ted Lilly - Can you argue with back to back 15 win seasons?
Rich Harden - Take the option - make him a #3 or 4 starter.
Carlos Marmol - Actaully, you'd need two guys for him, and they both better be named Ramirez
Aramis Ramirez - Clutch power-hitting #4 guy. Not great in the post season, but he's won a lot of games for the Cubs. just stop double clutching.
Geovany Soto - If you even think of his name while on the phone, you need to be shot.
Mark DeRosa - Super Utility guy who can play ANYWHERE, short of beer vendor, and play it as well as a regular. You can't pay enough for that.
If you can get a good deal, deal them -
Derrek Lee - Oh my Gawd Lee? Yes DP Lee. Got hurt in 06, numbers plummeted since. Good hitter, not a power hitter any more.
Ryan Theriot - "The Riot?" Yes The Riot. Shortstop is becoming more and more of power position - Reyes, Rollins, Tejada. This is why it has to be a good, borderline GREAT deal. But he is dealable...
Sean Marshall - Quietly becoming a solid #4 or #5 starter. Left handed. Passable out of the rotation or the Pen.
Alfonso Soriano - Nobody will want his salary, so you don't move him unless they take it. Can carry a team single handedly, but only for 7-10 days and only twice a year. That's roughly 15 games out of 162. We can live without him.
Neal Cotts - a bubble pick. Right now our only lefty out of the 'pen. If we get Fuentes, he's a great #2 lefty.
Kosuke Fukudome - See Soriano, except for the carrying a team thing.
Mike Fontenot - Second baseman of the future at this point. Keep him around for off the bench work and for when DeRosa's off saving someone else's butt.
Jeff Samardzija - Have seen too little to make the call to outright deal him, but he's got some nasty potential as either a reliever or a starter.
Ronny Cedeno - Security! Seriously why do we keep giving him a shirt?
Jason Marquis - Switching things up this year - sucked to begin and a decnt second half. If he's youre number 5, and ONLY YOUR #5, keep him.
Felix Pie - Still just a prospect. And likely that's all he'll ever be in Chicago.
Now, for Johnson and Edmonds - The two of them make a pretty darn good center fielder. I think they're both on one-year deals, so they're Free agents. Re-signing them depends entirely on your plans for center field. If you can get a Nate McLouth, then screw th two of them. If that's not in the cards, keep them. If Edmonds retires, Johnson solo will do, but then plan on getting another outfielder.
So that's my take. May be revised at some point.
"Pirates GM Neal Huntington has declared nobody is untouchable, and the Pirates are looking to upgrade a poor minor league system and major league talent base, so McLouth's name has been tossed around."
Really? Nate McClouth patrolling centerfield in Blue? A left handed power bat? Now who was it that was looknig for a left handed power bat again? Oh..that's right...the Cubs!
As much as I like the WGN-named "Law firm of Edmunds and Johnson", Edmunds is thinking about retiring, and Johnson is a good 4th outfielder, or perhaps third outfielder if this from the Tribune comes to pass:
"According to scouts, Fukudome would have no value if Hendry tried to shop him. He isn't going to go back quietly and resume his career with the Chunichi Dragons, walking away from his deal with the Cubs. That would send a terrible signal as teams around the majors become more aggressive in pursuing players from Asia. One scout interviewed Saturday suggested a course of action that could be tough to swallow.
'He has to go to the minors,' the scout said. 'He has to get rid of all those habits, pulling out on pitches, collapsing. He'll never hit the way he's hitting now, and this is a tough place to work out your problems. Always has been.'"
THe 48 million dollar man working for Ryno?? Interesting...Wonder what Mclouth would cost the Cubbies...maybe....Pie?? I can TOTALLY live with that..
I need to hesitate when answering this question. After game 1, I was angry. Just flat out, beating small animals with a crowbar angry. After game 2, and actualyl pretty much once the ball popped out of DeRosa's glove, it was more disbelief and shock. Now, it's over...how do I feel?
Apathetic. Just completely, blankly, who gives a crap, apathetic. I don't care that they lost. I don't care that they got swept or played like toddlers. I just don't care.
Damn you Cubs for making me feel this way...
"So, tell me about your father"
I'll be honest with you, I probably won't post as much during the offseason as I did for the last 3 months or so, but there's plenty to do. Just a few things I have planned for your enjoyment -
A. Off season moves/don't moves.
B. Free Agent Shopping list
C. Commentary on Trade and FA rumors
D. Following the Cubs in the off season
This one requires a bit of explanation. What I PLAN to do, and we'll see how this works out, is to do a little creative writing, Heckler-style, and "follow" our team as they get off the field and go about their off-season lives. They won't be factual, accurate, ore ven relevant, but I hope they'll be funny as hell.
I've probably got a few days of flurry left so I can comment further on this fabulous regular seasons and train wreck of a post season, but after that, if I'm you, I'd plan on throwing this blog on an RSS feed or check back every week or so.
Until April...God it's a sad life we live...
This coming from the guy who started his worst-hitting regular starter in the first tow games, then said he was out the rest of the series, then gave him two more at-bats.
As Boert and Bernstein are so fond of saying, Who you crappin'?
Where oh where was Johnson? Did he get a single AB the entire post season? I don't think so? Why? Because of righty pitchers? That's a load of BS because I knwo for a fact that Johnson faced some right handed pitchers, and gosh Lou, I think he even managed to hit the ball once or twice.
Don't lament about your offense when you put bad offense on the field and made wrong call after wrong call all week. YOU lost this too Lou, just as much as your players did.
"Dude, your entire team just died" "Yeah, but we got father than those Flubs!!! Woo HOO!"
So it's not the team, it's the fans. F$%^& the Sox. Go down in flames like a $5 whore in a firehouse, just so I don't have to listen to your obnoxious fans for the next 6 months. If they would only shut up...
Then comes the playoffs and once again the Cubs coasted. But it doesn't work like that in the postseason. You need to strike early, and continue to add on, and scratch and claw your way to victory. Most of the Cubs seemed to think the World Series would just happen to them. And that is where they failed.
Or they just choked it like a hooker holding back some cash from "daddy". THat's possbile too. Maybe they couldn't stand up to the pressure. Maybe they got crushed under 100 years of hopelessness. Maybe they weren't expecting the Dodgers to put up much of a fight. They're from the NL West for crying out loud. The only reason they were there was because SOMEBODY had to come from there. Whatever.
It was a failure of monumental proportions. And it was unacceptable. This was a team that jogged through 25 miles and 5270 feet and tripped on their shoelaces at the finish line.
Whatever you want to call it, it was the grand poobah of suckiness and failure.
And Rickie Weeks is still playing in the postseason.
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Friday, October 3, 2008
Rumor has it, he almost got that out with a straight face...
Actually, I remember someone saying the exact same thing last year. I'm still looking for it. I'll post it when I find it. and I WILL find it...
Thursday, October 2, 2008
But you and your boys are just kicking back and waiting it to fall in your laps like some slave girl on the Riviera.
Was Seattle happy about going 1 and done in 2000 after 116 wins? I doubt it. You gave us a nice summer. Good job. But that was just foreplay.
Don't put on a condom if you're not going to F$%^.
I swear on my World Series Ringless finger, I will be the first person ever to be kicked out of the Cubs Convention...
Of course the Cubs couldn't hit the ball off a freakin' tee right now. So regardless of what Z does this game is looking more and more over. And therefore the series.
So how many detractors do I have now? How much does that piddly little no hitter mean now? Exactly donkey d#$%. That's how much. 97 wins means S$%^ if you get nothing to show for it. Oh...well, you get to put a flag on the building. So I guess we'll just be happy with that huh Lou?
F^&* that. Like a girlfriend who keps kicking you in the balls, just after she gets off her knees.
Well, you got the number 2 part right anyway.
Here's a crazy thought - how about we put the same lineup that won 97 games out there? Crazy I know. Stop pissing away games so you can catch the early flight back to warmer climes.
Soriano - 'Last October is last October,' - Umm actually dipsh^&, it's just October, and right now they're looking pretty freakin' similar...
Derek Lee - "It's just a loss. We're not even thinking about last year." - It's a BIG loss at home with your most reliable starter on the mound. START thinking about it.
And now my favorite -
Piniella - "It's only Game 1" - Have you gone completely insane. Do you not realize that there are only _5_ games int this series? Are you too busy thinking about your freakin' golf swing to focus on maybe the Marshall/Ramirez matchup was not the best option? How about, oh I don't know, maybe a RIGHT hander??
Ok Mr. "It's only Game 1". How about I cut off a finger for every game you lose from here on out. "Hay Lou, It's only 1 finger." Get serious. The only thing we've learned thus far is you SUCK in the postseason like the rest of the team. Stop looking at game 4 when you're in game 1. Any bullpen pitcher should be able to pitch back-to back days. Since TBS has taken the liberty to throw in an off day every TWO games, you can use Marmol, and Wood even if you're down to make sure you don't go down any farther.
This is a SHORT series, much like the fuses on Cubs fans while you're dicking around trying to save a pitcher for a game that WON'T happen.
Now get your sh$%^ together and win a fu#$%&^* ballgame.
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
You just can't walk seven guys...you can't...it's one step above a forfeit...funny thing is - Dempster almost got out of it...and once, I almost had a threesome...only differenece is, mine doesn't go in a record book....I can still lie to my grandkids...
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
So I guess in the end, no harm done, but really folks - let's get out poop together next time eh? Like the World Series montage better be scheduled correctly...:)
I ended up having to watch it on CBS, which the Guide showed was playing "Young and the Restless". And what do those CBS dipsh$%s do. Let me paint you a picture -
Jim Belushi - "WGN put together a nice little montage of this season. Let's take a look..."
Cut to commercial...
Somebody better rebroadcast this thing. I am so incredibly PO'ed right now I can't even begin to complain enough. I'd write a letter of complaint - BUT I WOULDN'T KNOW WHO TO WRITE IT TO!!!!!
Monday, September 29, 2008
"For people to say that this team is built for the World Series and if it doesn't win the World Series, it's not a successful year, I just don't buy that."
So, Lou's a great manager - one of the best - but yeah Lou, uou better freakin' buy it!! Yes the team's played well during the regular season. Good for them. But to say that anything less than a World Series title is a success? Um, actually NO! Are you serious??
Finish the job Lou. Don't tell the home owner that you built four whole walls, and no roof, buy hey you got walls, so what's the problem? That's pure unadulterated BullS#$. That's just damn wrong. Anything less than the World Series is failure. This is why they talk about 100 years of failure.
Interesting fact - the Cubs, as a franchise, have never been below .500 in total wins. Not once. Ever. And yet they're talking about a century of failure. Why, Lou, do you think that is? It's because we have nothing to freaking show for it!! Just an interesting little footnote in the baseball almanac, about 700 pages past the list of World Series winners.
You know what second place is? First Losers! - I wish I could remember what movie that was from. But it's all too true. We don't want to be first losers. So suck it up, realize this means something. Realize that you have failed otherwise.
Brew/Phil - Phil in 4. This is to account for 1 Sabathia game.
Cubs/Dodgers - Cubs in 3. As much as ESPN hates the Cubs and despite John Kruk's prediction that the no-no completely screwed Zambrano, I think he steps up. This is OUR series boys.
Rays/Twins or Sox - Rays in 3 - Doesn't matter who wins that crappy AL Central, they really have no place here...
BoSox/Angels - Angels in 4 This one's a tough call, but I figure BoSox can scrap one win before going away and leaving us all in peace. Beckett's injury doesn't help.
Cubs/Phil - Cubs in 6. While the Cubs have home field advantage, I don't see them beating the Phils more than once at home, so I'm banking on Dempster and Z shutting them down here, winning one on the road of the three, then winning once more at home. If it goes to game 7, I'll poop.
Angels/Rays - I think this is where the Rays fold. I've got the Angels in 5, thinking the Rays can manage one win. But mostly I think the Angels offense, pitching and closer are just too much for the Baby Rays.
World Series -
This is mostly a vanity pick. I've got the Cubs in 6. How this is all gonna play out, I have no idea, but I have to believe that this is the best Cubs team in decades and if it ain't won this year, I'm not sure how many other chances we get. So, this one is a complete flyer judging from the facts, but there ya go...
Sunday, September 28, 2008
I hate to see if but if Zambrano freaks out again, this is going to be a tough series. If he can stop psyching himself out and just pitch how he's capable, then we're golden. The first two games will determine the rest of the series. Dempster needs to grab that first win, so Z doesn't put even more pressure on himself. If we split, I can live with that. If the Dodgers win 2, may as well go out and party Sat night, cuz there won't be anything else happening...
If Z does blow his top, all is not lost. I feel good about Dempster, Harden and Lilly. If Zambrano steps up and proves he's the ace of this staff - grow up dude - then we can all start booking hotels.
With Lowe's sinker, the Cubs are going to be hard-pressed to get the big hits. It's therefore necessary on them to just hit the ball. Preferably to the holes in the infield. No swinging for the fences unless he's leaving them up. If he's not, God help us all...
Derek Lowe, Chad Billingsley and Hiroki Kuroda
Let's take a look shall we?
Derek Lowe - 14 - 11, 3.24
Chad Billingsley - 16 - 10 - 3.14
Hiroki Kuroda - 9 - 10 - 3.84
Lowe - 7IP, 4H, 0ER May 28 @ Wrigley
Chad Billingsley - 6IP, 4H 2ER May 26@ Wrigley
Kuroda - MLB.com freaked out when looking him up.
Overall, not pretty. Tell me again - why did we want to play them? Stupid Mets...But hey, last time I rooted for a team to play against the Cubs in the Playoffs, it was Florida, so I'm just gonna shut up and say, bring 'em on!!
Won't be going to Wrigley for this leg, due to the completely ridiculous "Ticket Lottery" crap the Cubs (maybe other teams) are pulling for this, so I'll be safely ensconced at home. Cross those fingers kiddies - It's go time.
Saturday, September 27, 2008
A. The opponent - Dodgers or Mets - Not nearly the pitching Arizona boasted last year. The Mets in particular will go down in fart flames with the Cubs lineup.
B. Home field advantage. Unlike last year, when the Cubs and 'Brewers both insisted on holding the door open for the other, the Cubs this year as soon as the Brewers tripped, snapped up the crown and ran with it all season, winning at least 10 more games than their less-than-impressive effort of 07.
C. The Lineup.
Lineup for Oct 3, 2007
Soriano - While not having nearly as dominating September as last year, has 3 less HR's and 9 more walks than last year, and that's with 27 fewer games. BA is down a bit.
Jones - Gone
Lee - Less of a power, but more consistent season this year. Seems to have remembered where the strike zone is this year.
Ramirez - Has been a clutch player both years, but check out these numbers - Games +16 Runs +24 Hits +1, 2B +9, HR +1, RBI +10, BB - and this is the big one - +31, OBP +.013.
Floyd - Gone
DeRosa - Career Year in HR and RBI, but potentially hurt.
Soto - MVP. Nuff Said
Theriot - Didn't slump during September, most offensive stats up, BA +.040.
Zambrano - Not starting. Instead it will be Dempster, the winningest pitcher on the staff. Solid performer al year. Did get slapped around a bit just before the break, but a .296 ERA. Dang.
Not convinced yet? Take a look at the team numbers -
G -3, AB -120, H +7, HR +31, RBI +98, OBP +.022, SLG +.022 AVG +.007.
Lovin' them minutes...
Friday, September 26, 2008
Nope. I don't even watch the Sox. Don't care enough. Admittedly, I do giggle a bit when I hear they lost. But only because it might shut the Sox fans up for a day. And the end of this season, losing 3 to the Twinkies. That makes me giggle. Even if the Sox get in, they don't get past game 4. Not with those old guys hustling down the lines with their walkers. Watching Jermaine Dye and Griffey side by side int he outfield makes me sad. You can hear the creaking joints in the upper deck.
But do I root root root for the Tigers? No. I don't care enough. The only time I root against the Sox is when they play the Cubs. Then F%^& 'em. But even then, I'm not rooting against the Sox, I'm rooting for the Cubs.
I am a LITTLE bitter that they got Steve Stone - Hey Sockies - straight up trade - Santo for Stone! Think about it for a minute.
Nope. Not even a little. See, that what the Sox fans I run into have to realize. I don't care. First of all, it's old news. WHAT-HAVE-YOU-DONE-FOR-ME-LATELY? Whether you won it 3 years ago, or 100 years ago - doesn't matter. Did you win Last year? No? Then shut up. Here's what winning in '05 really means - "At one time, MY team was better than YOUR team and MY team won the WORLD SERIES." Got that? Need to write it down? Ok...now...here's what winning in 1908 means - "At one time, MY team was better than YOUR team and MY team won the WORLD SERIES."
Is there an echo in the room?
So at the end of the day, it means squat. Bragging rights. As if I care enough about you to want to brag to you. Once again - get over yourselves.
You know who gets to brag for now? Whoever won most recently. I don't even remember who that was off the top of my head (Tigers?), because after the Cubs are eliminated, I no longer give a crap. Not even for a minute...
Are you kidding?? I would hope that if I were ever hit by a car on the Southside and btroke my leg, I would not have to wait for a friggin' Cubs fan to come along and drag me to the side of the road. I know I wouldn't refuse help to a Sox fan. Dude...it's just baseball. And most years, it's not even good baseball...relax.
There are folks who will claim that after every game Cubs fans are in the faces of Sox fans. And Vice versa. You know what my experience has been? Whoever won that day is in the faces of whoever lost. Because whoever lost has no leg to stand on. And by the way that's all anyone has ever seen, because for a fan of the losing team to get in the face of the winner is just plain freakin' dumb.
BTW: Half my family is Sox fans - you know how many of them I called after the Cubs won the divison last year after the Sox pulled up lame? Not even one. Why? Because I'm not an A-Hole. Not about this. It only lasts one game, then tomorrow they'll be calling me when the Sox kick the Cubs' brains in. No thanks.
So I'll tell ya what Cubs fans and Sox fans - get over yourselves. Your team is not that important, and you sure as hell aren't either. Not even for a minute....
Now, I know there are die-hardsout there who watched/went to games through thick and thin. I know that - this isn't directed at you, so please put down your pitchforks...But where were all you folks before July of '05?? Seriously...
I was probably too young to remember when Wrigley started filling up day after day, and maybe, just maybe, the same thing happened back in the 80's with Cubs fans. I just don't know. It just seems to me that all of a sudden, everyone's a Sox fan. Well fine - you'r4e a bandwagon jumper. Good for you.
You've been such a big fan for a minute now..
P.S. - Once again - if your rooted for the Sox or at least knew the usual starting lineup prior to 2005, this is not directed at you.
And speaking of which - our bullpen hasn't been all that wonderful of late. Gaudin, Samardzija, Howry. None of them are really blowing my skirt up these days.
The Hoff had a great day. Gotta love that. Great enough for a playoff spot? Eeeeeeehhhh...that's still TBD. But it sure was a good start.
Now all that needs to be done is b-slap the Boo-hoo crew once more so we get the "Lay-zin' Mets" in round 1, and we're golden. Not to mention, I'd sure like th eopportunity to beat that fat bee-otch one last time...
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
"Hello, this is Lou. Oh hi Bud. Yeah. Well, I did put a representative team on the field. Now Bud, that's not nice...Well, I know I could've put in Marmol with the bases loaded and two outs in the 8th. How was _I_ supposed to know Jeff would walk Ramon Martinez. The guy has one hit during the Bush administration. I know. And Howry? Well, it wasn't a save situation and you know how those closers are...yeah....they get all goofy..that's right...Howry's had such a good season and with Wright coming to the plate, I really liked that righty-righty matchup. Yes I know Marmol and Wood are both righties too." C'mon Bud, now you're just being unreasonable...ok...next time I won't hand them the game...yeah...ok...love to the family...you too."
Would've been funny...for a minute anyway...
Z had a BAAAAAAAD inning tonight. In my book he just became the game 3 starter. I'm thinking Dempster in Game 1, then Lilly, then Harden then Dempster again. It really depends who they're playing, but you can tell Z it's because he's the only one reliable enough to take an away game. That outta fool him.
If he starts at home, he'll have to be game 1. His psyche couldn't hack being #2, even tho that's how he's pitching recently. And I'm not referring to his being a second starter. He's actually pitching like #2.
If memory serves, Z didn't do so well at the end of last season either, but came back strong in Arizona. We'll see...
Monday, September 22, 2008
1. Ryan Dempster - the most consistent pitcher of the year. Potentially a Game 1 Starter. Best beard/goatee (GOAT!!!!) on the team.
2. Rich Harden - He can only throw 16 pitches - but those 16 are NASTY!!
3. Ted Lilly - One hitter and a clincher in the past two starts.
4. Kerry Wood - Reliable - about as much as Dempster last year. Think about THAT you Dempster haters.
5. Carlos Marmol - who needs a lights out setup man in the post season? These are all 10 - 1 games right?
6. Carlos Zambrano - Dang did he piss Lou off the other day, but he's still an ace, as long as another grandmother doesn't die.
Maybe kinda sorta probably:
7. Jason Marquis - in the bullpen. Get over your ego and learn how to warm up quick. He's pitched well enough to earn it of late.
8. Neal Cotts - need a lefty specialist in there. Not horrible, but let's just hope the game's not on the line.
9. Sean Marshall - Long guy or lefty guy. Rumor has it, the opposing teams might have more than one lefty available to bat, and maybe not consecutively.
10. Bob Howry - he sucks A-holes, but Lou likes him. We can leave him wherever he is when it's over. No need to bring him back to Chicago. We'll mail him his stuff.
11. Chad Gaudin - This is assuming he doesn't attack another dumpster. And he's healthy enough. Seriously dude. Vicodin - look it up.
1. Geovanni MVP - Er, I mean Soto.
2. Henry Blanco - In case Soto dies or something.
3. Derek Lee - The post season needs double plays too.
4. Aramis Ramirez - Let's hope he's more Mr. Clutch this October as opposed to Mr. I Can't Find The Clutch in My Porsche While Driving Home From Another Frickin' 0-fer" from last post season.
5. Ryan Theriot - "The Riot" I would like to see him run more - like hit and run, not stealing, cuz that's like a 50-50 shot with him.
6. (Sigh) Ronny Cedeno - The only viable backup shortstop on the team which is by the way the only reason he's still employed. Freakin' Niche markets...
7. Mark DeRosa - Hasn't played Catcher, pitcher, or Center Field this season, but hey - that's what clinching early is for. Seriously, that'd be freakin' sweet.
8. Mike Fontenot - Left handed bat with a bit of power, but otherwise a good hitter line to line.
9. Alfonso Soriano - Give him a blind fold in the outfield - it might help, but he's a game changer.
10. Jim Edmonds - Veteran leadership, strong defense, left handed hitter with pop and a boatload of postseason experience. He is one ugly SOB though.
11. Kosuke Fukudome - At the beginning of the season, he'd be number 1 on this list. Now, he's a defensive upgrade. Sad...
12. Reed Johnson - This dude's a gamer. Now if only someone would tell him what game that was.
Maybe kinda sorta probably:
(13). (Sigh) Daryle Ward - I seriously think this could go either way, but he's our pinch hitter. Had a couple good AB's of late, so that'll prolly get him in.
The X-factor - here's the 11/12 pitcher flop.
(14). Felix Pie - Upgraded from "Don't bother packing" - A defensive upgrade with speed just isn't quite enough kid. I understand Iowa has a hotel room with his name burned into the door.
(12). Jeff Samardzija - Only problem here will be Lou spelling his name correctly on the Roster. Hate to lose him on a technicality.
It's a pretty well known fact that pitching/defense wins the playoffs. This is why I see either Sam or Pie making it. The Cubs already have 2 center fielders, so Pie's on the bubble. But they also have no real stolen base threat for late innings, so I'm leaning more toward Pie here. Sorry Jeff. Better luck next year.
The only major upsets I can see here are A. The Hoff knocks off Ward, but he'll have to have one hell of a week - facing at least 3 lefties no less - to make it, or B. If Lou goes with 12 pitchers, leaving only 5 bench players. Not a lot of mix and match if you do that tho.
The one mistake Lou made last October, was a lack of "Win today" mentality. In Game 1, Z was unhittable, and yet Lou pulled him in favor of Marmol, so that Z could come back on short rest in Game 4. Only problem was - there was no Game 4. And Marmol who was as lights out last year as he was this year, got lit up for a Chris Young HR which ended up being the game winner.
In October, there is no tomorrow. No Game other than the one you're playing now. It's like a soldier holding down a fort, but saving ammo for when reinforcements arrive tomorrow. If 200 guys are charging you, USE THE DAMN AMMO!!!
At the point in the game last year, the D-Backs were so happy there was someone on the mound other than Z, it could've been Cy Young himself and they'd have felt on top of the world.
Lesson to be learned - if your starter is mowing them down like a tommy gun at a peace rally, leave him in. Worry about tomorrow, tomorrow. Don't hold back. Kick them while they're down, burn them and then piss on the ashes.
Or there will be no more minutes...
Dempster pitches better at home than on the road. Is he the #3 starter then? you can make that case. I certainly wouldn't mind.
Lilly can either be brilliant or very hittable. So you're making him starter number 2 or 4 as well for the same reason as Harden. Precautionary.
Zambrano, while he says he doesn't care when he starts - he cares. Make him #1. We'll need his A++ game against Santana, so run with it. He's also strong enough to go deep and if necessary come in in relief in game 3 or 4 to nail down the series, or come back in 5 if it's necessary.
so In the DS, I've got Zambrano, Lilly, Dempster, Harden.
Now a WS thought - not getting too far ahead of ourselves, but...
How about Zambrano and Dempster in Games 3 and 4. They're the best bat handlers in the lineup and those games are at Wrigley - in the NL. THIS CANNOT BE UNDERESTIMATED. In the NL, you have to think Defense and Offense from the number 9 slot. It'd give us one heck of an advantage over the AL counterpart.
Which makes Harden and Lilly games 1 and 2 starters on the road - former AL pitchers, used to the DH. The downside is, there's a better chance of previous AB's against them from the opposing lineup. Unfortunately, this is out-of-the-box thinking and will probably not enter Lou's head. Another option - Zambrano, Harden, Dempster, Lilly . This brings Z back in Game 5, also at Wrigley - if it gets to game 5. But it also means Harden goes game 6 with no off day after...
Soooo many possibilities in such a short minute...
Sunday, September 21, 2008
UPS shipping is so reliable, it's like a pitcher who throws 27 strikeouts per game...
So, it's like impossible? Or never been done?
This is just the latest in a long series of commercials that play off of baseball and sports in general. I like the others - Wow. A 95 MPH fast ball is almost as fast as an Oil Express oil change. Really? An oil change takes less than 1.8 seconds? Please..quite being so freakin' clever and just advertise your product without BSing my game? Please? It bugs the living crap outta me...
For longer than a minute.
So here's the realistic list of opponents in the NL Playoffs, and the cubs respective records against them home/away. Kinda surprising actually.
Astros and Brewers have owned the Cubs at home - losing records against both at home. Milwaukee is pretty much our beeotch in Miller, but that's based on one series. We only have an overall losing record to the Phillies, but I can live with 4 and 3. We can eliminate the Astros and Milwaukee for round 1 - same division. Let's look a bit deeper.
Phillies - Great power lineup, but not as deep as the Cubs. Pitching staff is very good 1,2,3, and if you're not winning in the 9th, you're not winning. I'll take Cubs pitching over Phil's, but that doesn't mean I want to face them.
Mets - Much like the Brewers, you could be down 10 runs in the 9th, and not be out of it. In fact, I heard a rumor that the Mets bullpen tried to pull a parakeet out of a toilet after a game, and didn't save that either. Santana scares me, but the rest of their staff is above average, but hittable.
Dodgers - Manny and Blake made this a good lineup, but the rest of the team is not scary at all. The pitching staff is dang good - lowest NL ERA, and yet the Cubs did seep them at home and split on the road. This all happened pre-Manny/Blake tho.
Diamondbacks - Their pitching rotation scaqres the livving crap out of me. They have just enough hitters to not suck, but this is why they're probably not in consideration. We don't have to worry aobut the West unless the Brewers sell their balls to the Devil, so I'm trying not to freak too much. Prolly a little 2007 left in me as well...
Marlins - Oh, I'm sorry...were we supposed to take them seriously?
If I had a choice, in order of preference or most to least, I'd like to face Mets, Dodgers, Diamondbacks, then Phillies.
We'll see how it turns out. Another minute in the future...
Think they clinched last night? I wonder...
There's a minute, which is aobut how long it'll take Looper to get thru the lineup the first time...
For those of you just joining us:
so good for the old guy. He lasted a few minutes longer than I expected.
P.S. Yes, I'm going to hell.
First, category - Duh!
1. Ryan Dempster - the most consistent pitcher of the year. Potentially a Game 1 Starter. Best beard/goatee (GOAT!!!!) on the team.
2. Rich Harden - He can only throw 16 pitches - but those 16 are NASTY!!
3. Ted Lilly - One hitter and a clincher in the past two starts.
4. Kerry Wood - Reliable - about as much as Dempster last year. Think about THAT you Dempster haters.
5. Carlos Marmol - who needs a lights out setup man in the post season? These are all 10 - 1 games right?
6. Carlos Zambrano - Dang did he piss Lou off the other day, but he's still an ace, as long as another grandmother doesn't die.
7. Geovanni MVP - Er, I mean Soto.
8. Henry Blanco - In case Soto dies or something.
9. Derek Lee - The post season needs double plays too.
10. Aramis Ramirez - Let's hope he's more Mr. Clutch this October as opposed to Mr. I Can't Find The Clutch in My Porsche While Driving Home From Another Frickin' 0-fer" from last post season.
11. Ryan Theriot - "The Riot" I would like to see him run more - like hit and run, not stealing, cuz that's like a 50-50 shot with him.
12. (Sigh) Ronny Cedeno - The only viable backup shortstop on the team which is by the way the only reason he's still employed. Freakin' Niche markets...
13. Mark DeRosa - Hasn't played Catcher, pitcher, or Center Field this season, but hey - that's what clinching early is for. Seriously, that'd be freakin' sweet.
14. Mike Fontenot - Left handed bat with a bit of power, but otherwise a good hitter line to line.
15. Alfonso Soriano - Give him a blind fold in the outfield - it might help, but he's a game changer.
16. Jim Edmonds - Veteran leadership, strong defense, left handed hitter with pop and a boatload of postseason experience. He is one ugly SOB though.
17. Kosuke Fukudome - At the beginning of the season, he'd be number 1 on this list. Now, he's a defensive upgrade. Sad...
18. Reed Johnson - This dude's a gamer. Now if only someone would tell him what game that was.
Maybe kinda sorta probably:
1. Jason Marquis - in the bullpen. Get over your ego and learn how to warm up quick. He's pitched well enough to earn it of late.
2. Neal Cotts - need a lefty specialist in there. Not horrible, but let's just hope the game's not on the line.
3. Sean Marshall - Long guy or lefty guy. Rumor has it, the opposing teams might have more than one lefty available to bat, and maybe not consecutively.
4. Bob Howry - he sucks A-holes, but Lou likes him. We can leave him wherever he is when it's over. No need to bring him back to Chicago. We'll mail him his stuff.
5. Chad Gaudin - This is assuming he doesn't attack another dumpster. And he's healthy enough. Seriously dude. Vicodin - look it up.
6. Jeff Samardzija - Only problem here will be Lou spelling his name correctly on the Roster. Hate to lose him on a technicality.
7. (Sigh) Daryle Ward - I seriously think this could go either way, but he's our pinch hitter. Had a couple good AB's of late, so that'll prolly get him in.
Don't bother packing:
1. Felix Pie - A defensive upgrade with speed just isn't quite enough kid. I understand Iowa has a hotel room with his name burned into the door.
2. Micah Hoffpauir - The Hoff didn't get nearly enough playing time late in the season to wrestle this spot away from Ward, but with the Cubs clinching early, watch for playing time from the next Geo Soto.
3. Michael Wuertz - I understand it's a requirement to throw the ball over the plate two out of every five pitches. Too bad Mikey.
4. Kevin Hart - Last year, you pitched your way onto the roster. This year, you pitched your way off it. Congrats.
5. Angel Guzman - not quite there yet, but could be a surprise substitue for Sam-whatever the heck his name is...or possibly Gaudin if he's too embarrassed to take the field again.
6. Koyie Hill - Hope you like the minors. At least until Blanco retires. No more playing with table saws.
7. The rest of the kids - that's why you're called kids. But look at it this way - no more pink backpack.
The past 6 months? That wasn't the stressful part by the way :)
Many minutes to come...
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Exciting game. Now, I haven't paid any attention to the Cardinals lately - why would I? but with Ankiel and Molina on the Bench, you send Aarom Miles to pinch hit? Ummmm....ok....
Sucks - Gameday didn't have any video highlights for this one. There were a few plays I wanted to see, but oh well. Bottom line - clear your calendars from October folks - it's gonna be a fun month!
There IS one more team to watch for a few more games...The Mets.
The answer for yesterday's question. The Number 4 is the magic number to clinch home-field advantage throughout the playoffs. It is, BTW, now 3.
Party on Cubs fans! There's more work to do, no doubt, but for now, it's Miller Time! At least for a minute or two...
P.S. Eat it Cardinals,...how does it taste?
2:55 PM The time that BOTH the Cubs and the Brewers games start. Un frickin' real. Even if the Cubbies drop their kibble, they still may be running around the field in front of adoring fans popping corks.
You want the weird part?
What if the Cubs clinch in the 7th inning? How ef'ed up would that be??
We'll just have to see...
Friday, September 19, 2008
And, by the way, your song makes me want to shoot myself. It's a depressing melody, man. We're depressed enough. You got no "I'm still alive" vibe for us at all? Some day we'll go all the way...yeah...someday we'll go all the way...
The lyrics are sweet though. I particularly like this line: There's magic in the ivy and the old scoreboard | The same one I stared at as a kid keeping score.
But hey, it's all good... We love ya Eddie...just would've been nice if you'd done it, say, 10 years ago...you know, before your career died...:D just kidding...
It was closer to five years ago...
Which would be 2,628,001 minutes ago, including this one...
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Un freakin' beleive able. Woody gets out of a Second-Third no out jam? KERRY Wood??? Nahh...not Kerry....wow. Geo Soto has officially become the OMC MVP and ROY. That's a lot of initials.
Dang. I need to sit...you know...for a minute...
Of course, as I write this, with two outs, Ramirez doubles, Edmonds singles, DeRosa singles, and Soto - MVP Soto - ties the game on a 3 run homer.
Just goes to show, I don't know shizzle about shizzle...
Stay tuned, this game seems to have another minute or two left...
With Sheets going to the mound, I gave it about a 30% chance the Cubs would win the game. Turns out I was right, but not for the reason I thought.
Sheets leaves - again - early because of shoulder stiffness. I call it "I'd rather not get slapped around like the little Bee-otch that I am" Stiffness, but you know - po-tay-toe, po-tah-toe. So one of the bottom 3 bullpens in the majors takes over for 7.1 innings, and we can't touch them. Argh. This is pretty much par for the course with how my day was going, so not entirely surprising.
Bottom line, the Boo-hoo Crew needed that game a lot more that the Cubs did. No biggie. We'll just spank Bush tomorrow and clinch over the weekend. Can't argue with that :).
Sheets pitched for about a minute right?
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Monday, September 15, 2008
Other than that you did a passable job, being our 4th starter and all. Have a good rest of the day, and we'll see what we can adjust in the bullpen session on Wed. Thanks Ted."
This minute just got really confused...
Oooooooo Kaay. Yeah...we'll be ready...yeah...love to the family...ok...buh bye."
Sunday, September 14, 2008
"The games been over for a good minute or two....WHERE IS YOUR POST????"
Hey man, I had phone calls to make and txt's to send and a kid to put to bed...
Wow. History. Yes, my 23 month old son stayed up for this. Yes my wife, son and I were glued to the TV. Yes, I watched/listened to the entire game. No, I did not go. But I was very tempted...If I'd known...eh well...
What a game. It's funny. This is not even close to the first time the Cubs and Zambrano flirted with a no-no. This season alone I remember prolly three or four that took it into the 6th, 7th, or 8th. But to go all the way - after being out for almost two weeks with "dead arm"/tendinitis. Ho-ly-frickin'-crap dude. I was shaking by the end. I jumped up at the end. There's only so mush you can say about a game like this. Z was battling the Astros - yes, the Kerry Wood 20 K Astros. He was also battling a crappy home plate umpire. There were MANY missed calls tonight. End of the day, you can't complain.
I think deep down, mostly everyone knew Z would throw a no-no. It seemed to be only a matter of time. So here's the real question - What are you nay-sayers saying now? I'll admit, I was leery. I have an earlier post saying "Harden and Z are out? WTF is going on here??" or something like that. I was nervous, sure.
Tonight was another remarkable accomplishment in a long season of remarkable accomplishments. It's history. I watched it. I'll tell my kids and grandkids about it.Do I think this is the clincher? That the Cubs are going to win the World Series? Do I think they're a lock now? Do I think this is the tipping point? That it's all the way to a ticker tape parade?
Hell Freakin' No.
Still got a lot of work to do boys. But...you get a cookie tonight.
Z - You get two minutes tonight. Now get back to work!!
A. That was a slider that just got away from him. You hate to see that with a 2 strike count. Zambrano just needs to buckle down and focus on this next batter and not let this get in the way or break his concentration.
B. Aww, that's just too bad. With two outs, only a pick-off play or a caught stealing will allow Zambrano to potentially finish this game having faced the minimum number of batters for the game. You hate to see it, but it happens.
C. He didnt want to do that. Wow. Gosh...ooohhh...He didn't wanna do that right there. Ahh.
I'll give you one guess as long as it isn't A or B.
What a schmuck...
He doesn't deserve a minute and his 15 are up. Now he owes interest.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Here's the really crappy part. After this, it's not even a sprint, it's kill or be killed. After this it's pull out all the stops time. Win today. Or go home.
Know what second place is?
FIRST LOSERS, SIR!
In the postseason - a minute is a long, long time.
Ok so first of all, if you're going to Miller Park, ya may as well just go to Wrigley. Either fans are drive 90 min to Miller, or fight traffic for 90 min trying to find parking at Wrigley. 6 of one half dozen of the other ya know.
Second, if you're a Milwaukee baseball fan going to the game - who do you root for? The Cubs, thereby pushing the Astros back in the Wildcard, or the Astros, giving the Brewers a boost toward the division title, but closing the gap to the Brewers in the Wildcard race. My vote - root root root for the Cubbies. A division title is becoming less and less likely as the season progresses, but at least if the Stros lose, the Brewers are still safe in the Wildcard. Unless of course they drop their kibble to the Phils, and they take over the wildcard lead...
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Pitched a heck of a game last night too. The bulldog eh? I believe it.
As short as minutes come...
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
So the Red Sox/Rays game goes 14 innings, well beyond the 3 hours slotted in the schedule for the game, and ends at 11:12PM. Ok, so BBTN was scheduled to start at 11:00. No big deal...But NO!
Frickin' Sportscenter. This ALWAYS happens...This is a show, that tomorrow from midnight to midnight on Thursday will run _14_ times. Yes FOURTEEN. Twice the show is 1/5 hrs. The others are 1 hour. So that's 15 hours of 24 they're showing Sportscenter. and YET. They preempt BBTN which runs, maybe 10 times in a WEEK for sportscenter. Really? I mean REALLY? C'mon people! out of the 15 hours of sportscenter, can we skip just ONE? that's 63% of the day you're running sportcenter. yes, that's right SIXTY THREE percent. can you please take 1 fifteenth of that and run BBTN? Is it really that hard? Is there THAT much thought involved that this almost kinda sorta makes just a TEENSY WEENSY bit of sense?
14 times!!!! In 1-24 hour day. that is just freakin' ridiculous.
Oh, and By the way, they skipped over BBTN at 9 b/c of the game too. That's just stupidity in it's purest, unadulturated form. All I want, to close out my night, is the 30 seconds of analysis you'll give the Cubs in between the 49 minutes of Yankees and Red Sox coverage. Is that too much to ask?
There's another minute, which is by the way, 60 second more than you'll see of BBTN tonight.
Somehow....that just makes sense. This is the same guy who stole Will Ohman's wheels during spring training in '06.
Gerald, you're not messing with the best hitter on the team are you?
If so...cut it the H-E-double hockey sticks out!!!!
Or I'll beat your minute lovin' butt!
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
I think that we could argue that the Cubs have been a "Team of Destiny" as evidenced by their best record in baseball status and their unbeatability at home. Recently well I think you could say they've sucked...actually sucked monkey balls...actually sucked the sweat off of dead monkey balls...here's the thing tho...
The Boo-hoo crew has sucked only just a touch less. During this horrid strech from Philly to Houston to Cincy and now Louie the Cubs have lost EXACTLY one game off of their lead.
A lot of things have to happen during a season to come out on top. One of those things is, your opposition needs to suck at times, and it helps if they suck at the same time as you suck.
If there is ANYTHING positive to take out of these two weeks - holy crap it's been two weeks - that's it.
Maybe later I'll feel up to writing about that train wreck in Louie tonight. For now one minute and one more page off the calendar...
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Ok, let's say it. The little Bee-otch lost the game. Although the writing was on the wall when Edmunds committed that dumb schmuck error to start the inning. Woody can't close if his defense doesn't do the job. I don't have the numbers here, but Wood's become a second Zambrano - when a error is committed, he completely loses it. Like "Hey, it's not MY fault he dropped the ball. Oh well, screw it."
Such a ridiculous loss, it boggles the mind. I got a dollar that sayus if Marmol is closing, this game looks different. Now I'm not calling for Marmol to close - Wood's done a passable job, but can we not soak our drawers when someone screws up?
Bottom line is Little B#$%^ needs to make that play. Worst case, it's a 1-run game.
But then I guess every team needs a Rickie Weeks. Shoulda traded him while he had value. Now he doesn't even have a minute.
But seriously yesterday apparently a football game between BYU-Washington was influenced by a 15 yard "Excessive celebration" penalty which probably helped whoever get an extra point that would've tied the game.
Excessive CELEBRATION??? How can you football fans take a game with a penalty called "Excessive celebration" seriously???
Actually that's not really true. Baseball has a penalty like that too. Only we call it a high and tight fastball...
Here's a minute....or would that be excessive? wusses...
But the bats came alive, which is hopefully a sign of good times to come. Time will tell, but in the meantime we can take solace in that the Cubs are hitting the piss out of the ball, and the magic number is sinking...
Fewer and fewer minutes until October...
Friday, September 5, 2008
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Ok seriously folks. Zambrano is getting all creepy and supposed to get an MRI, but doesn't. Harden's hurt? WTF is going on here?? Oh, and a minor little 5 games losing streak...Hey good times...
It's a good thing Milwaukee Sucks donkey butt or we'd be really screwed.
Don't get me wrong. I'm still on board. but this train's gettin' bumpy...
Still a minute...
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
The problem from what I heard tonight was frankly trying to hit the ball out of the park, with the wind howling in. Sheesh. Randy Wolf was just serving 'em up over the plate and daring the hitters to hit it out. Yes Wiggington did hit one out, but it was a line drive, not a power bomb. Remember the good ole' days when the hitters hit into the gap? The opposite way?
Eh well. The Brewers and Cardinals have sucked just as much. Better to suck now than suck in October...
A minute, no more, no less...