Following the team drunig the offseason Part V

New rehab assignment for Soriano

Alfonso Soriano, who had not been bitten by the injury bug prior to his signing with the Cubs has finally revealed a long-standing bug that has plagued him since his days in Washington. The good news is, there is a very-progressive therapy for this ailment.

Mark O'Neal, head trainer for the Cubs, explains the treatment. "Basically Alfonso will be preceded anywhere he goes by at elast one person. Always. He will never enter or exit a room first. He will hold doors open for others, male or female, never sit at a table first, he'll even wait for someone else to go to the bathroom."

Soriano's condition, Egomus Maximus, is severe in Soriano's case. It is trainer O'Neal's hope that this treatment is effective and gets Soriano back to where he needs to be. "You know, like 5th in the Batting Order."

Jim Hendry commented, "This is a pretty aggressive treatment. We think it'll go a long way toward curing what is clearly a very serious mental--I mean physical...PHYSICAL defect. Hoepfulyl it won't be too much of a problem going forward."

Soriano still has 6 years left on his contract. "I plan to work hard with this treatment during the offseason and come back ready to go next spring. Now if you'll excuse me, we need to leave." Soriano then held the door open for four people, before leaving himself.

Seems to be helping.

Not true, not true, but it would be nice....