Playoff roster part II

Lou today indicated that the playoff roster would probably include 11 pitchers. So let's reorganize the list a bit.

Pitchers:

Duh

1. Ryan Dempster - the most consistent pitcher of the year. Potentially a Game 1 Starter. Best beard/goatee (GOAT!!!!) on the team.
2. Rich Harden - He can only throw 16 pitches - but those 16 are NASTY!!
3. Ted Lilly - One hitter and a clincher in the past two starts.
4. Kerry Wood - Reliable - about as much as Dempster last year. Think about THAT you Dempster haters.
5. Carlos Marmol - who needs a lights out setup man in the post season? These are all 10 - 1 games right?
6. Carlos Zambrano - Dang did he piss Lou off the other day, but he's still an ace, as long as another grandmother doesn't die.

Maybe kinda sorta probably:

7. Jason Marquis - in the bullpen. Get over your ego and learn how to warm up quick. He's pitched well enough to earn it of late.
8. Neal Cotts - need a lefty specialist in there. Not horrible, but let's just hope the game's not on the line.
9. Sean Marshall - Long guy or lefty guy. Rumor has it, the opposing teams might have more than one lefty available to bat, and maybe not consecutively.
10. Bob Howry - he sucks A-holes, but Lou likes him. We can leave him wherever he is when it's over. No need to bring him back to Chicago. We'll mail him his stuff.
11. Chad Gaudin - This is assuming he doesn't attack another dumpster. And he's healthy enough. Seriously dude. Vicodin - look it up.

Position Players

Duh -

1. Geovanni MVP - Er, I mean Soto.
2. Henry Blanco - In case Soto dies or something.
3. Derek Lee - The post season needs double plays too.
4. Aramis Ramirez - Let's hope he's more Mr. Clutch this October as opposed to Mr. I Can't Find The Clutch in My Porsche While Driving Home From Another Frickin' 0-fer" from last post season.
5. Ryan Theriot - "The Riot" I would like to see him run more - like hit and run, not stealing, cuz that's like a 50-50 shot with him.
6. (Sigh) Ronny Cedeno - The only viable backup shortstop on the team which is by the way the only reason he's still employed. Freakin' Niche markets...
7. Mark DeRosa - Hasn't played Catcher, pitcher, or Center Field this season, but hey - that's what clinching early is for. Seriously, that'd be freakin' sweet.
8. Mike Fontenot - Left handed bat with a bit of power, but otherwise a good hitter line to line.
9. Alfonso Soriano - Give him a blind fold in the outfield - it might help, but he's a game changer.
10. Jim Edmonds - Veteran leadership, strong defense, left handed hitter with pop and a boatload of postseason experience. He is one ugly SOB though.
11. Kosuke Fukudome - At the beginning of the season, he'd be number 1 on this list. Now, he's a defensive upgrade. Sad...
12. Reed Johnson - This dude's a gamer. Now if only someone would tell him what game that was.

Maybe kinda sorta probably:

(13). (Sigh) Daryle Ward - I seriously think this could go either way, but he's our pinch hitter. Had a couple good AB's of late, so that'll prolly get him in.

The X-factor - here's the 11/12 pitcher flop.

(14). Felix Pie - Upgraded from "Don't bother packing" - A defensive upgrade with speed just isn't quite enough kid. I understand Iowa has a hotel room with his name burned into the door.

(12). Jeff Samardzija - Only problem here will be Lou spelling his name correctly on the Roster. Hate to lose him on a technicality.

It's a pretty well known fact that pitching/defense wins the playoffs. This is why I see either Sam or Pie making it. The Cubs already have 2 center fielders, so Pie's on the bubble. But they also have no real stolen base threat for late innings, so I'm leaning more toward Pie here. Sorry Jeff. Better luck next year.

The only major upsets I can see here are A. The Hoff knocks off Ward, but he'll have to have one hell of a week - facing at least 3 lefties no less - to make it, or B. If Lou goes with 12 pitchers, leaving only 5 bench players. Not a lot of mix and match if you do that tho.