Who the heck is "The Miz"???

So wrestling came to town the other night allowing dozens of trailer park security guards to take the night off. During this little Hicks Gone Wild soap opera, some dude called "The Miz" called out Soriano who was, unbelivably, actually there, and proceeded to bash Alfy and our beloved Cubbies, using all the standard cliches and proving that WWE script writers are drastically overpaid and should probably be returned to their respective zoos.

Here's the thing Mr. Miz.:
A. there are many many easier targets on the Cubs to rip this year. Sori's actually been somewhat of a Godsend this year, so bashing him only further illustrates your ignorance.
B. It will take more on your resume than "has been MTV reality show cast member" before anyone takes you seriously.
C. Sori makes more money per games than you d in a year.
D. Unlike your occupation and your wife's orgasms, what Sorino does is real.

So sit down Miz, come up with a stage name that doesn't make you sound like a pompous woman, and most importantly - Know your role and shut your mouth!