This one will be made around the end of November
"Hi Milt, It's Jim. Yeah, so I wanted to let you know, I'm having a heck of a time moving your contract. It's not you, but...ok, well yeah it is you, but the money doesn't help either. So anyway, I got an offer from the Rangers that if I pay 19 million, they'll take you back. Oh really? I'm glad to hear that you'd be happy with that move. Here's the thing though. I talked to Crane and we're actually going to go ahead and turn that down. Instead, you're going to sit on your little butt there and watch other teams play baseball. You will not see a live pitch thrown at you for the next two years. You won't even remember where your glove is by the time this contract runs out. But don't worry Milt. I'm sure two years sitting on the shelf will not affect your free-agency when you turn the young age of 33 in 2012. Oh and by the way, we're gonna fly you in here every once in a while so you can hold a press conference and talk with the media that will undoubtedly miss you so much.
Oh you don't like that option huh? Well gee that's too bad because you know we have this contract here, and boy oh boy if only there was a way that you didn't have to stay under our control for the next two years. Yeah, I sure wish there was a way for someone to, oh I don't know, opt out of a contract or something.
Huh. Well anyway Milty-boy. We're sending you over a case of Margarita mix since that's all you'll have to do for the next two years. I appreciate your time Milt and thank you so much for everything you've done already."