Monkeys playing with their own poop

Would someone please explain to me why we're all root root rooting for these
dipsh1ts? What are we thinking? Adding insult to injury tonight, Lou Piniella has gone freakin batty now. Let's examine this move here -

Well, gee, I've got my left-handed (remember the l;eft handed crap????) third-baseman whoi is noramlly a second baseman playing out of position, comeing up to bat against a leftly reliever. I have the Hoff, Johnson, Ramirez, and Soto on my bench (and Gathright, but we don't really count him), let's see who I should pinch hit with -
A. The Hoff - nah lefty lefty combo.
B. Soto - Eh, he's been kinda weak recently, and I'm not sure I want to use my backup catcher in a pinch hitting role.
C. Ramirez - Pinch hit a natural, right handed, clutch hitting, third baseman for a third baseman playing out of position?

No, no, no. Here's a better idea - I'll pinch hit my weak-hitting center fielder, and THEN, I'll play my catcher at third base and put my backup catcher behind the plate.

Now, go ahead. Tell me I'm second-guessing. F-You. F-You hard at night. this isn't second guessing. This is common freaking sense.

What in God's name are we watching here????