Tuesday, April 14, 2009

The Pretzel Saga...

Took my wife to Opening day for her birthday - yes, I have a wife who's cool enough to accept opening day tickets for as a b0day present. When we go there, she tells me about this 4-pound pretzel that everyone is talking aobut and how she really wants one. Ok, sweetie muffin honeycake, I'll get you one. So off I go. Bear in mind, we're sitting in section 236, which is almost on Sheffield Ave.

I went to the concourse, or "the basement" as I like to call it, and ask the first vendor I see. He blinks twice and says "go that way" and points to his right, which is by the waty the only way I can go without leaving the park. So I stop by another conseccion counter. Enter "Deer in headlights" guy who turns to the counter manager person, who also looks lost, but with an unmistakable air of authority to their losticity. They tell me to go near the main gate. Ok. So I go to a place by the main gate, and ask and they say "Go to stand 1" Ohhh..hey..stand one. That sounds like official terminology, so that's gotta be right. Stand 1 by the way is about 6 feet away from Waveland Ave - Remember where I said I was sitting? So I get to stand one, and they have no idea what I'm talking about, but I should try and find a roving vendor in the stands...right...So I go up stairs, back into the stands and find an usher who looks like they're just a hair under 85 - must be new - and ask them. No idea. right. So I climb the stairs, and ask another usher - this is because there are no vendors wandering the empty stands 30 min before scheduled game time (and aobut 90 min before actual game time) - go figure - and they tell me to go ask the stand that's right under the radio booth. Ok...So I ask them. They say they've gotta be in the concourse. Uh huh. so back down I go. I find another styand, and I'm told stand #7. Really? Where's that? oh you see right over there? Yeah. They have them...alrighty! Hi, are you stand 7? Great. Can I have a 4 pound pretzel.......Yeah...no idea. So I turn aorund and start my way back, when suddently it hits me - Customer Service - they gotta know. Excuse me, do you know where I can buy a 4 pound pretzel? And here's the words I've been looking for - "No, but I will find out...one moment." YES! I'm going to get my pretzel!!
So Morty comes down. His name is not actually Morty, but I call him Morty cuz he looks like a Morty. So Morty leads me to this place called "The Blue W" and there it is...One vendor among 100 that sells these damn pretzels and can I have one of those? 15 bucks?!?!? Fine..give me the dang pretzel.

And it was mine and it was good. My wife was very happy, and as they say on 'GN - Happy wife, Happy life.

Pictures to follow.

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