2009 End of Season Roster

Updated daily until the World Series -ish.

Roster #1- Carlos Zambrano - Everyone except those who matter wants this guys gone. Fortunately, the ones who matter are right.
Roster #2 - Aramis Ramirez - Once again proving he's the most clutch hitter on the team. Almost an RBI per game. Sick.
Roster #3 - Carlos Marmol - 12 balls followed by 9 strikes. Named closer next year in an attempt to get it down to 8 balls before 3 K's.
Roster #4 - Ryan Dempster - Considering his daughter lived in a hopital through June, 11 wins is freakin' awesome. You are hard core.
Roster #5 - Ted Lilly - Had an "off year", leading the team in wins. The best starter for the last 4 years. Only All Star, well deserved.
Roster #6 - Mike Fontenot - Ladies and gentlemen, your 2009 starting second baseman - unfortunately. Get used to pinch-hitting.
Roster #7 - Reed Johnson - Good for one spectacular catch in April, then decent play the rest of the year. Still thinks he can bunt.
Roster #8 - Alfonso Soriano - Leg fell off in May, didn't tell anyone until September. Going to be here a while - get used to it.
Roster #9 - Milton Bradley - "The Mistake" Period. End of list. Can't get out of town fast enough. And take your lying-ass mom with you.
Roster #10 - Derrek Lee - Slow start, then took off like a rocket and didn't look back. Almost enough to carry the team. Almost.
Roster #11 - John Grabow - With Guzman and Marmol, he completes a deadly trio. And guess what Lou, HE'S LEFT HANDED!
Roster #12 - Kevin Gregg - Don't worry Gregg. I'm sure the 7 blown saves, 4.79 ERA and 13 HR's won't affect your contract opportunities.
Roster #13 - Rich Harden - Only starter to pitch almost the entire season. Missed 2 weeks b/c we all forgot he was supposed to be injured.
Roster #14 - Kosuke Fukudome - Much more consistent this year. Still spins like a top at the plate when he's off. Still a waste of money.
Roster #15 - Randy Wells - Spot starter ends up leading the team in wins. Can you say Wally Pipp?
Roster #16 - Geovany Soto - Duuuuude. You like totally got major muchies last year. No more twinkies. Let's hope you weren't a 1 hit wonder.
Roster #17 - Aaron Miles - Even Mendoza thinks you suck.
Roster #18 - Ryan Theriot - When Piniella says "Drive the ball" from now on your first thought should be "Which car should I take?".
Roster #19 - Koyie Hill - I have it on good authority that he once threw out Jesus trying to steal a base - with 1 hand. Hard freakin' core.
Roster #20 - Jeff Baker - Rumor has it, the Cubs have asked him to change his last name to "DeRosa".
Roster #21 - Sean Marshall - Dear Sean, you're a bullpen pitcher and the sooner you get that through your head the better off you'll be.
Roster #22 - Tom Gorzelanny - Not as hard to spell as Samardzija, but close. Is hoping to rehash his 2006 not-too-shabbiness.
Roster #23 - Aaron Heilman - We just found out why two teams didn't want him last year. Decent 11th bullpen guy,
Roster #24 - Angel Guzman - Wants to change his name to "marmol" and move into the setup slot. Welcome. Stay healthy and it's yours.
Roster #25 - David Patton - I had to google him to make sure he was still a Cub. Elvis was seen more often at Wrigley than this guy.

Honorable Mentions:
Micah Hoffpauir - Still the hoff, but no longer capitalized. Hitting .239 will do that.
Jake Fox - Think Pedro Serano. If you make the mistake of throwing a fastball, he'll hit the piss out of it. If not....
Sam Fuld - Quickly replacing Reed Johnson as the fans' favorite backup outfielder.
Bobby Scales - Proved without a doubt that he can only play on dirt, not grass.
Andres Blanco - Made the play of the year. Couldn't get to 1st base in a women's prison with a fist full of pardons.

2009 Roster - mid season update

See the previous Roster breakdown

Here's your midseason update with 1 or 2 coming every day up until the All Star Game

Roster #1 - Milton Bradley - "The Mistake". Can't hit, can't field, can't count outs, can't keep his mouth shut. Everything we expected.
Roster #2 - Kosuke Fukudome - Little tip - it helps if you face the plate when the ball crosses it. Stop spinning, even if it is June.
Roster #3 - Kevin Gregg - Not exactly the dominant closer we were all looking for. Neither was Wood, but this guy's last name ain't Wood.
Roster #4 - Geovany Soto - Thought his weight gain in the offseason was rookie laziness. Turns out it was the munchies.
Roster #5 - Ted Lilly - Nobody liked this sign and nobody was right about what was to happen. Only All-Star candidate on the team this year.
Roster #6 - Carlos Marmol - Still can't close the Dutch, let alone an ML team. 12 balls then 9 strikes. You can almost set your watch to it.
Roster #7 - Aaron Miles - When you're batting .203, you're not a switch hitter. You're a switch stander.
Roster #8 - Micah Hoffpauir - The Hoff. That's right, the Hoff. 71 games in and he's still the Hoff. Boo-yah.
Roster #9 - Jake Fox - Never before has one dimensional play been so awesome.
Roster #10 - Derrek Lee - Suddenly realized that the Hoff can play 1st base. Hasn't stopped hitting since. In May, this is a different entry
Roster #11 - Aramis Ramirez - The savior of the Cubs, assuming he gets his stroke back before September and keeps it past October 1.
Roster #12 - Mike Fontenot - Your 2009 starting 2nd baseman - unfortunately. Following the trend of our other lefties.
Yeah, yeah..the rest of these are late. I'm working on it...

8-10-09 - You know what - these useless a-holes aren't worth finishing this roster. Get back to me at the end of september...

Roster #13 - Coming July 1
Roster #14 - Coming July 2
Roster #15 - Coming July 3
Roster #16 - Coming July 4
Roster #17 - Coming July 5
Roster #18 - Coming July 6
Roster #19 - Coming July 7
Roster #20 - Coming July 8
Roster #21 - Coming July 9
Roster #22 - Coming July 10
Roster #23 - Coming July 11
Roster #24 - Coming July 12
Roster #25 - Coming July 13

Opening Day!

Hendry finalized his roster yesterday. Took me until today. I was getting nervous about those last two spots, but thankfully, there are deadlines.

It's OPENING DAY!!!!! OMFG I'm so psyched. I've been chomping on the baseball bit for quite some time now and now I get to watch meaningful baseball....or at least baseball that counts...

Booyah!

Pitching decisions...

From the Gordo twitter -
Lou and Hendry met this AM: Final pitching decisions to go into weekend. 4 for 2 spots: Samardzija, Gaudin, Patton, Guzman

So, let's look.

Samardzija - started to hiccup just a bit late last year. Has had a less-than-impressive Spring. It's decision time - make him a reliever, which he did well for the bulk of his playing time last year, or move him to starter in which case means going to IA.
Gaudin - The Dark Horse better art of the Harden deal last year. Frankly hasn't impressed me yet, some good outings, some bad outings. Out of options - no way in hell he clears waivers and hasn't missed a bat all spring...But...keep him for now.
Patton - Pretty much unhittable this spring, but if there's one thing spring teaches us, it's that you have to read between a lot of lines to figure out what'll happen up north. However if you don't keep him, you lose him...
Guzman - Has never impressed me, at all. Not that he's not good. I'm sure he's a decent reliever, but just not needed right now.

Nothing to worry about?

So I'm listeing to WSCR Zach Z, and he's going on and on about how this is the best spring trianing and we have nothing to worry aobut and blah blah, and I'm thinking to myself - we have more holes than last year! Let's talk aobut a few things -

A. A closer that can't close out the Dutch
B. A starting pitcher who can't be relied on for over 80 pitches, maybe 25 times.
C. No full time second baseman with all due respect to Fontenot.
D. A Right Fielder who played 20 games in RF last year - this is not a knock on his defense. This is a knock on his health.
E. No backup for Aramis Ramirez.

Three Words - two-thousand-four. everyone was sitting pretty back then thinking we had it made....for a minute anyway...

2009 Roster

On twitter, I've been doing one roster member per day as a countdown to Spring training. I'll compile them all into here:

Roster #1- Carlos Zambrano - Being this crazy never looked this good. Scary when he's on. Scarrier when he's off.
Roster #2 - Aramis Ramirez - Mr. Clutch in the regular season needs a freakin' tennis racket in the post season.
Roster #3 - Carlos Marmol - Can't close against the Dutch, but I'm sure he'll do fine against the Cardinals and Brewers
Roster #4 - Ryan Dempster - #3 starter had a #1 year, due mostly to the fact that he twists his hand unnaturally and he's Canadian.
Roster #5 - Ted Lilly - Was supposed to not suck. Was supposed to eat innings. Then he goes and wins 34 games over two years. How dare he?
Roster #6 - Mike Fontenot - Your 2009 starting 2nd baseman. He's mini-me with a mega-bat.
Roster #7 - Reed Johnson - Platooning once again. Don't bunt to Longoria again - ever - and we'll be ok...
Roster #8 - Alfonso Soriano - He's going to lead off. Get over it. He can't hit a beachball if he doesn't. Theriot can lead off after him.
Roster #9 - Milton Bradley - More than 20 games in RF would be nice. Remember there's no wussy DH over here...
Roster #10 - Derrek Lee - He's a solid leader, both in the clubhouse and in double plays. No longer a #3 hitter - more like 5 or 6.
Roster #11 - Micah Hoffpauir - The Hoff. That's right. The Hoff. Got a problem with that?
Roster #12 - Kevin Gregg - Your new Kerry Wood, only not. Your new closer, only not. Your dominant setup guy, only not... Who is this guy??
Roster #13 - Rich Harden - Devestating stuff. The best pitcher in baseball - 20 pitches at a time.
Roster #14 - Kosuke Fukudome - probably won't suck as bad as he did last year...As Tom Seleck said "It's not a srump!"
Roster #15 - Neal Cotts - At this point the only lefty option out of the bullpen. Which is exactly the only reason he has a job...
Roster #16 - Geovany Soto - His dad gave him a catcher's mask when he was 3 and said "Shut up and wear it". Go dad....
Roster #17 - Aaron Miles - He's like a bargain basement Mark DeRosa wannabe who costs half the price - you get what you pay for...
Roster #18 - Ryan Theriot - The Riot! On-Base fiend. Thinks he's a lot faster than he actually is. If he can up the steal rate....scary...
Roster #19 - Koyie Hill - Gets his hand cut off and still catches 95 mph heaters. Frickin' hard core baby...Frickin' hard core...
Roster #20 - Joey Gathright - The new Felix Pie. Will come in handy if we need to steal a base or, you know, jump over a BMW...
Roster #21 - Sean Marshall - Should be the primary lefty bullpen option, but then Peavy should be wearing blue pinstripes...Cest La Vie
Roster #22 - Luis Vizcaino - You better not suck as bad as I think you're gonig to.
Roster #23 - Aaron Heilman - Traded twice during the offseason. So good, 2 teams wanted him.Wait.That also means 2 teams didn't want him.
Roster #24 - Angel Guzman - Keeping things warm for Samardzija or Hart until Piniella realizes just had bad this guy is..
Roster #25 - David Patton - Never pitched above A-ball? You'll fit right in. Welcome to the Cubs.