Cubs Convention Induced Optimistic Post Of The Year

So, the Cubs are going to be crap this year. We all know it despite what wonders Garza will do for our rotation. As Lou preached for 4 years - "If you can't score runs, you can't win."

But wait.

Fukudome is going to be introduced to the fine American tradition known as "the contract year" and he's going to be raking all year long, trying to finally justify earning half the money he's made.

Byrd, Pena, Soriano and A-Ram will power this offense fueled by the hard pounding Castro and the slap hitting and plucky DeWitt into a formidable force. Soto will provide his usual combination of light power and solid consistency to round out this font of offense. Here's the lineup-

Fuke, Castro, Byrd, A-Ram, Pena, Sori, Soto, DeWitt, Pitcher

And SPEAKING of pitching. O. M. G.

Zambrano's anger management will morph into knitting and Parcheesi and he'll turn in a 22 win season because of it. Garza will feast on the crap that is NL Hitting and come in second in Cy Young contention. Dempster will break his arm celebrating an almost win (foiled by an inconceivable double play) but he will STILL turn in 30 solid starts (it was his left arm after all) and win a Gold Cast award - the first of it's kind.

Wells and Gorzelanny will both continue to mature and fill out the back end of the rotation, with Silva having been traded to the Cardinals and Yankees for Puljos, Jeter, and a PTBNL (They'll both be assigned to Iowa, so they can routinely bitch-slap the Lehigh Valley Iron Pigs.)

The bullpen, with the 7th, 8th, and 9th being in the capable hands of Marshall, Woody, and Marmol will surely get the blood pumping, but all will fall in defeat to the 3 Kings of K's.

In the end, the Cubs will coast through the playoffs and into their first World Series in a dozen Presidents and win it in 5, having lost game 2 to Carlo Silva's left butt cheek in a 1-0 thriller.