I am Jack's compete lack of surprise

WQow. Who could've seen this coming? Mike Quade is the new Cubs manager. I'm stifling yawns as we speak. Just goes to show ya Cubs fans - Buckle in. It's going to be a looooong couple of years. The good thing is, management seems to realize this and realize that things are bad now and they're going to have to suck a lot to get better.

Quade's a place holder for a couple of years for when this team might potentially not suck. Whether he's keeping the seat warm for Girardi, Sandberg or some other manager remains to be seen. The philosophy here is "This team is going to be full of kids, who will probably suck, so let's plug in a guy who can help these kids not suck a little and someone we can fire without drawing the ire of the idiots, er I mean fans"

Ladies and gentlemen,

Mike Quade

Fanfare!

For whom the bell rings....

So if you're like me, you've probably forgotten that there's baseball going on right now. Yes, there is. Sorta. Nobody I give a rat's butt about is playing, so I could care less, but then we'd be talking about soccer. So I heard something like this on the radio once, and I've been kicking around this random thought for a while now and I thought I'd share it with you both, er, I mean all.

A Ringer Draft.

It is exactly what it sounds like - A Ringer Draft. Each postseason, after the final game has been played, each team in the post season gets to "Draft" one player from a non-contending team to join their team as part of the roster. This can be any player - position or pitcher to be used as seen fit. There are a few rules:

1. Teams choose from best record to worst - Wild Card teams pick last. The best teams get the best players, period.
2. The team selecting the player pays that player's salary, including any missed time that may come from an injury. If Albert Pujols goes down with a torn ACL, the Yankees pay for his DL time too.
3. Drafting a ringer is optional, because...
4. The "Ringer" replaces one man on the 25 man roster. Someone's getting left out.
5. The Ringer, and the Ringer's team must both consent to the draft.
6. A portion of postseason revenues goes to the team who is lending out said player.

There are obviously more rules and regs that would follow, but it might make things a touch more interesting for fans of teams the ringers come from. I know I'd pay at elast a little attention of Marmol went to the Rangers or something similar. and I know what you're all thinking - What a STUPID idea. I mean what if one of your players got hurt while playing in a game that meant nothing to their team? It's not like this is the All-Star game or anything...

Offseason Moves - First Base

There are far, far too many options to lay out a best case/worst case scenario here, so let's just dive into it.

First off, I wouldn't at all mind seeing what Xavier Nady can do with a full season at first base and an off season separated from shoulder surgery. Second, the only reason I would hate to see Adam Dunn playing there is because I would then have to root for him, and no longer call him a "big dumb animal". Third, Paul Konerko playing really well in a contract year is no surprise. Not ready to throw him a treasure chest just yet.

There are a lot of options available for first base this year. You will hear a lot of clamoring for Adam Dunn, whom fans either love or hate with nothing in between. Some will argue a pigeon will catch as many balls at first base as Dunn will, others will argue that while that may be so, the pigeon will not be able to fly farther then the balls leaving Dunn's bat day. after day after day. Dunn will also want a pile of money for a team that will be knocking at the door of fourth place next year - no thank you.

I would like to see Xavier Nady sign another similar contract to this years' $3.3ish and if so, then 1.5 good years of Nady for 7 million will be the best FA signing of Jim Hendry's career.

If Paul Konerko wants to be a veteran presence for a discounted price then he would be a find. If he wants to ask more than 10mil per for more than 3 years, he'll be joining his old buddy Jermaine of the gold course.

Given a choice between PK and Dunn for 10 mil, I'd have a tough time deciding, but I'd have to go with Dunn. Yikes.

All this is moot since we'll probably end up with Lyle Overbay for 16 years/227 million, but hey. That's Jimmy!

Off season moves - The Manager

Best case scenario - Joe Girardi
Worst Case Scenario - Ryne Sandberg
What'll probably happen - Mike Quade

Yes, I said it. Sandberg is the worst-case scenario, but maybe not for the reason you think. Here's the deal. Sandberg is universally loved throughout Cubdumb and managers, especially managers hired during rebuilding years, are hired to be fired. Ryno hasn't proven himself a winner in AAA yet, let alone at the big-boy table. He hasn't even coached in the show yet, and 90% of the idiots out there are ready to hand him the keys to the castle.

Joe Girardi has proven that he can win with kids - Marlins, and with seasoned professionals - New York, is a media powder keg with a merciless owner. He also is a local boy with Cubbie ties and is close enough to please the unwashed masses with his Cubbie charm. He is also not an idiot and knows that the Cubs will not contend next year, or probably the year after. Therefore leaving the Yankees and going to the Cubs would be like hopping off a cruise liner to go sailing in a dinghy - with holes in it.

Therefore, we will likely end up with Quade, who despite his ridiculous insistence on letting Bobby Scales get dressed, seems to have a handle on this team - in September. But honestly, the teams they've faced - the Cardinals, Giants, Padres - have all been serious cookies, and the Cubs have handled themselves decently - not great, and not really good either, but decently.

Should be an interesting off season -

Next up, first base.