No Defense...

Headline: Chicago Cubs' Jim Hendry defends Mark DeRosa trade

That should read: Jim Hendry attempts to explain his long series of bone headed moves, which happened to include Mark DeRosa. It included this little nugget:
"But there wasn't anywhere else to get left-handed, you know. And over time, I think we will see that we got pretty good guys for him. So we mixed and matched some of the dollars that were made with [DeRosa] and other guys who are not here, and added the guys that we did."

Ok, first of all, if I hear one more Cubs guys say the words "left-handed", in relation to bats of bullpen, one more time I'm going to go Farnsworth on your ass.

Second of all - let's examine how these lefties have improved the team:

DeRosa - 266/.333/.446/.779
Miles - .204/.250/.265/.515
Bradley - .200/.328/.390/.718
Fontenot - .223/.309/.385/.693

Wow...those lefties are really hitting the sh*t out of the ball huh?
Oh and PS. DeRosa has more homers than the other three...COMBINED!

And let's not forget
Blanco - .182/.262/.364/.626
Bako - Currently working as a boat cleaner in Dayton, OH.

As it turns out, Hill blows both out of the water, so to be fair - that one doesn't hurt too much.

Dumb A$$ things people have said about the Cubs

Constantly updated. Here's a few that have already happened (from twitter):

Mar 10th - Headline: "Vizcaino in jeopardy of losing spot in Cubs' bullpen" - WHAT? You mean he's not the ace out of the bullpen we all thought he was?

Apr 22nd - Headline: "Bradley returns to Cubs' lineup vs. Reds" Still can't hit.

Apr 26th - Headline: "Cubs seek clutch hitting in finale with Cards" - Actually, we'll just settle for hitting.

Apr 26th - Ron Santo quote of the day - "He definitely I think may be swinging. Or maybe not."

Apr 29th - Headline: "Unfazed Soto returns to Cubs' lineup" - Really? Cuz from here he looks fazed

Apr 30th - Headline: "So far, Hendry's moves haven't worked out for Cubs" - Oh my God! What a scoop!

May 3rd - The next one's my own dipsh*ttedness
Quade needs realize that Having DLee on deck is that much more reason to send the freakin' runner! Posted before Lee's AB for the record.
Derrek Lee then hit a Grand Slam, literally seconds after I posted that...

May 10th - Headline: Elbow injury has Cubs' Fox facing uncertain future (AP) - It should read "Fox having trouble accepting pretty darn certain future"

May 24th - Headline: NL scout: 'Derrek Lee doesn't drive the ball like he used to' - OMG! Really? Are you sure? I mean you DO have a scout's trained eye...

May 25th - Quote - And with the $15.65 million Aramis Ramirez on the disabled list, the $30 million Milton Bradley hitting .188 with a pitcher-esque .310 slugging average and 2008 rookie of the year Geo Soto still stuck at .202, Piniella's options for shakeups fall somewhere between few and none. - It's interesting because in this example, he cites the two positions - Right field and Catcher - that actually DO have "options for shakeups". Ahem Hoffpaiur and Hill.

May 28th - Headline: "Cubs Hendry defends trading away Mark DeRosa" - Yeah. Davy Crocket defended the Alamo...how'd that work out for him?

June 19th - Heeadline: "Cubs GM Jim Hendry wouldn't hesitate to deal" - Really? Cuz from here it looks like hesitating...
More to undoubtedly come...

June 28th - Headline: "Marmol isn't ready to give up his All-Star dreams" - Get Ready......Fast

June 29th - Headline: "Soriano needs final push for All-Star start" - Great. Happy to help. Where's the cliff?

July 16th - Headline: "Piniella meets President Obama" Any chance of a Bradley Bailout? How about Soriano relief? What's FEMA's position on bullpens?

August 13th - Headline: "Cubs look to finish season series [vs. Phillies] strong" - At this point, we'll settle for "not weak"

August 19th - via Twitter - @PWSullivan Cubs have no answers for August slide. - Oh really? How about the 2009 slide?

August 19th - Musky the Cub's blog - "8/19 Hendry: "It's 'whatever it takes' time" - Except of course actually doing anything...

August 23rd - Headline: Dodgers slap Cubs 2-0; Soriano open to some time off - You mean like, the next 5 years?

Knock Knock Knock

So, now we know the asking price for Peavy - two young ML ready pitchers with strong potential and two lower level prospects. Interesting. I'm still not thrilled at the prospect of a 4 for 1 swap, but Peavy called out Hendry - I'm here...just waiting for you to man up. "Middle America" cough cough Chicago cough cough. Peavy all but said I'm not going anywhere but Chicago - north Chicago that is. So bring him in Jimmy. Maybe he can catch a plane with us on Sunday...

Jake Peavy to White Sox?

Sigh..

This would just be the final nail in the coffin that is the utter dismal failure of an offseason that Jim Hendry had. Have at him White Sox. Good for you. If anyone needs me, I'll be on the ledge.

Strike three called

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Damn. It's really f%*ing annoying watching the same thing over and over again isn't it????
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Who the heck is "The Miz"???

So wrestling came to town the other night allowing dozens of trailer park security guards to take the night off. During this little Hicks Gone Wild soap opera, some dude called "The Miz" called out Soriano who was, unbelivably, actually there, and proceeded to bash Alfy and our beloved Cubbies, using all the standard cliches and proving that WWE script writers are drastically overpaid and should probably be returned to their respective zoos.

Here's the thing Mr. Miz.:
A. there are many many easier targets on the Cubs to rip this year. Sori's actually been somewhat of a Godsend this year, so bashing him only further illustrates your ignorance.
B. It will take more on your resume than "has been MTV reality show cast member" before anyone takes you seriously.
C. Sori makes more money per games than you d in a year.
D. Unlike your occupation and your wife's orgasms, what Sorino does is real.

So sit down Miz, come up with a stage name that doesn't make you sound like a pompous woman, and most importantly - Know your role and shut your mouth!

It kinda makes me wonder...

How many other failed center fielders we can send to the Orioles. Or right fielders for that matter. Patterson, Pie, Gathright - Here's the best part, the Orioles are sending us cash to make up for Freel's Salary. So let's examine this trade a bit -

Gathright - a "Speed guy" who's gotten picked off more often than the's actualyl stolen a base.
Freel - "Super-utility" man with the versatility of DeRosa, but not the bat.

I'll take Freel. Granted in this case he's the lesser of two evils, but if Piniella had any sense he wouldn't even give Gathright an uniform any more.

Hendry has just pulled off his first successful move since last October. So he's like 1 for 12, which coincidentally is also Freel's BA.

What does it take???

This is mostly directed to Aaron Miles and Milton Bradley but would someone please tell me whose rod we have to suck to get these pansies to swing the freakin' bats??? Are the Cubs just believing too much of their own press about how "patient" they are at the plate? Time and timw again just staring glass-eyed while the umpire calls strike 3. Aaron and Milt are by far the biggest offenders, but they're all doing it. Patience at the plate means exactly d*ck if you strike out every other AB.

So step up and swing the bats for crap's sake.

Manny goes down.

OMFG

All the posturing, all the glamour, all the crap.

He's Barry Freakin' Bonds. No wonder he wouldn't cut his hair.

About Booing...

Booing is a necessary part of the fan experience. It's overused and imprecise, but it's our right to do it.
Before the Home Opener, fans booed Glendon Rusch and Jason Marquis - why? Jason Marquis was traded - and probably shouldn't have been - either way - no choice there.
Glendon Rusch - c'mon the guy almost died. And the Cubs held onto him for the rest of the season when he almost died. He recovered and went elsewhere - that's not Booable - that's applaudable.

But anyway....Now, if all the fans could simultaneously say "Gee Lou, this lineup sucks" or "Hey Theriot, we really think you should've caught that ball", then yes booing in general is a bad idea. We however do not have the ability to sync up 40,000 voices to deliver a message - so we boo.

You're all big boys - get over it or get off the field. Go play in Kansas City where they expect mediocrity. Not here. Not any more.

Now shut up and stop screwing up.

Reflections on the Last week.

Normally, I'll reflect on each series, but it's been a weird week.
Good homestand bookended but complete nonsense.
Overall - That's more like it.
Last Friday - wtf?
Last Tuesday WTF?????
The "Lincecum Lineup" needs to go - you did a great misservice to the fans and Marshall throwing that crap out there.
The booing on Friday and Tuesday were WELL DESERVED.
The other games were more on par what we've come to expect. Friday and Tuesday were what we USED to expect.
Lou this isn't golf - you don't get a lineup mulligan.
I'm probably not done talking about the "Lincecum Lineup"

5 Reasons not to panic.

5. 87% of the season is left.

4. The Cardinals, Brewers, Reds, and Pirates are not that good.

3. The Cubs are not this bad.

2. Alfonso Soriano is showing more patience at the plate, and hitting the piss out of the ball for the past 30 days - well beyond his normal pattern

1. The Cubs started slow last year too - not THIS slow, but slow. In 2007, they were worse (10-14) and we remember how that season ended.

Five reasons to Panic

5. Virtually every move Jim Hendry made over the offseason has failed thus far.

4. Derrek Lee is still batting in the middle of the order.

3. Marmol's losing ways from the WBC don't seem to have ended with the WBC

2. The bullpen can't seem to find the strike zone with both hands and a flashlight.

1. 13% of the season is over