Predictions vs. Half way Projections

Halfway point. Let's see how pathetically miserable we're doing. Current x2 projections are in parenthesis.

Total wins - 94 (82 - unfreakin' real)

1st NL Central by 5 games (down by 3)

Team Batting Average - .264 (.247)

Milton Bradley games - 96 (112 - of course many of those are pinch hit appearances)

Fukudome games - 100 (138)

Rich Harden Starts - 24 (26)

Rich Harden Starts of 7+ innings - 5 (no idea, but I believe he's had at least 1)

Over/under 200 innnings for starters -
Dempster - over (210)
Lilly - over (222)
Zambrano - over (192)
Harden - under (140)
Marshall - under

No surprises there.

Home Runs -
The Hoff - 13 9 (14 - I was closer on my first guess)
Bradley - 25 (12 - "The Mistake" nuff said)
Lee - 20 (32 - but he will not continue hitting at this sick pace. Like A-Ram, prolly closer to 22-25)
Ramirez - 33 (8 - but he did miss 2 months on the DL. Not gonna be 30, but maybe 22-25)
Soriano - 35 (28 - assuming he remembers how to hit at some point)
Fontenot - 23 (12 - who knew making him an every da player would freak him out so much...)
Soto - 19 (16)

Yes, Fontenot will have more home runs than Lee. (Umm..no...He won't)

Home Wins - 52 (50)
Road Wins - 42 (32)

This is based on nothing except gut. We'll see.

Soi basically what it boils down to is nobody saw THIS bad a performance coming. Lee is hitting much better than he has in the last 3 years, Soto is starting to hit the ball, and BRadley's fine as long as he's batting right-handed - hmmmm. Fontenot has performed way below expectations, and looks to continue that way. Overall, the division is still winnable but only because it's so incredibly bad. I thi k they'll end up with more than 82 wins - prolly closer to 86, but that's good enough to win this division. We'll have our asses handed to us in the post season once again, but hey...

Jim Hendry better start typing his resume if he doesn't get anyone as 2B or SS (which would then move Theriot to 2B) before the deadline. One more bullpen arm would be nice too.

Mark DeRosa take 4??

So now the Cubbies have Jeff Baker. Lou summed up his senility in one statement to the press.

"He's a versatile guy, can play three infield position and the corner positions in the outfield, and he can swing the bat a little bit," manager Lou Piniella said. "So he will give us some versatility and a good right-handed bat coming off the bench."

Hey. That sounds great! Just imagine how valuable a super utility guy who can play infield and outfield and swing a solid right handed bat...wait...

Jeff Baker is not and never will be as valuable as DeRosa. He is simply the latest in what will be long line of utility players Jimmy will recruit to help repair him image as someone who did not royally screw all of us with a molten hot poker.

We see through your bullsh^t Jim, and it's still just as stinky. I would suggest you leave town before the Cardinals come in this weekend...

Enjoy Pittsburgh

Ok folks. Get your easy chairs - you know with the puffy cushions, and crack open your beers and kick back and relax. You have three games. Three games against the Pirates. Three games that don't mean a whole lot. Three games of worry free baseball.

Then home. vs Milwaukee. Then St. Louis. 4 games a piece with each. An 11 game stretch with the Braves sandwiched in between that could and most likely will determine the rest of the season. Make no mistake - these are the biggest games of the season so far, and will likely be the biggest games of the season overall. What OMC? OMG You're SO overreacting! Really?

Think back to a certain road trip up to Milwaukee last August. That 4-game sweep nailed the coffin shut on the Brewers. Remember the 5 game St. Louis series in '03? Yes it was in September, but it catapulted the Cubs to within 5 outs of the World Series.

So yeah - these games are THAT big. Cubbies it's time to get them swingin', and I don't mean the bats - but honestly those too. It's time to show the Cardinals that a one-man-band goes out of tune real quick. It's time to show the Boo-Hoo Crew, that while they're really cute, those kids are not ready to play with the big boys.

Or it's time to whimper and cry and curl up into a corner and let them take what is ours.

Your call. You've got three days to make your decision. Let us know if we're all wasting our time.

Apologies

Normally, I try to keep the blog as profanity free as possible. There's a lot of "freaking"s and special characters, and the like, and rest assured that minimal profanity trend will continue, except when talking about DeRosa and the F-up that Jim Hendry has become. In a future entry, we'll tackle some of the best and worst moves of Jimmy's career thus far.

Caution! R-Rated post!!!

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Home field advantage should be an advantage...

Some background From Red Line Rundown

This just in - Ozzie hates Wrigley

Yes yes Ozzie, go ahead and bash the Crumbling Confines once again - better that than talk about how abysmal your team is.

Could someone please show me the passage in the MLB rulebook that says it's the home team's job to make the visiting team comfortable? Because it seems like it's gotta be in there somewhere with all the complaining going on. If I were the Cubs, I'd make the visiting clubhouse smaller, and make one leg on every chair about 1/4" shorter than the rest.

It's called Home field advantage for a reason. You're not supposed to look forward to going there. Tell ya what - here's what we'll do.

We'll excavate behind the visitor's dugout and put the clubhouse there. Then, we'll install moving sidewalks from the clubhouse to the parking lot - so you don't have to walk. Then, we'll load you up with plushy vibrating massage chairs - two per player in case you want to sit more than once - each with it's own fridge microwave and flat screen TV. Then we'll block out half of the tickets in the stands for IP addresses located on the South side (online sales), area codes starting with 708 (phone sales), and people at the box office wearing Sox hats.

Will THAT make you happy Ozzie? You're going to the other team - it's our job to make you uncomfortable. Get over it.

Sorry Sori - You're Screwed.

I can't help but laugh at all the people who complain about Soriano leading off, and here's why - When he's hot, everyone complains that he's hitting too many home runs solo. When he's cold (or in recent history glacial), everyone complains that he doesn't hit enough.

Now, I'm the first to defend Soriano leading off - not because he's a leadoff hitter, but because that's the only place he's even close to being productive. He can't hit a beach ball with a tennis racket if he hits elsewhere. Stat upon stat upon stat backs this up and people just won't hear it. Lou is not coddling Soriano, or bowing to him, he's doing what a good manager does - he's putting his players in a position to succeed.

Now however, Soriano is sucking cheetah toes. So, it seems to me he can suck elsewhere in the lineup. Once he gets his swing back, he can go back to hitting leadoff home runs, but until then, he has to be moved, or he can ride the pine next to "The Mistake". Your call Lou.

The Traffic camera thing in Illinois is Bogus...kinda

Sorry for the non-Cubs related post, but I had to get this off my chest, and posting here updates my facebook profile and gives me a public link I send to all the #$%^#$% that continue to spam my inbox.

Ok people, I'm sick of getting this email. STOP! It's not true. At least not entirely. For details see here -
http://www.snopes.com/politics/traffic/illinois.asp
Ok, yes snopes marks it as true, but we're gonna break this down:

Illinois will begin using photo radar in freeway work zones in July. One mile per hour over the speed limit and the machine will get you a nice $375.00 ticket in the mail. Beginning July 1st, the State of Illinois will begin using the speed cameras in areas designated as "Work Zones" on major freeways.

This is mostly crap because Illinois has been using these vans for 4 years already. It isn't THIS July, it's July 2005.

Anyone caught by these devices will be mailed a $375.00 ticket for the FIRST offense.
The SECOND offense will cost $1000.00 and comes with a 90-Day suspension.

This part is true. Steep.

Drivers will also receive demerit points against their license, which allow insurance companies to raise Insurance rates.
Total Horse crap. Illinois does NOT and never has used "Demerit points" on driver's licenses. Some states do, but not all. So the scenes in Fifth Element do have some basis - just not here.

This is the harshest penalty structure ever set for a governmental unit involving PHOTO speed enforcement. No idea, but sure why not?

The State already has two camera vans on line issuing tickets 24/7 in work zones with speed limits lowered to 45 MPH. Total crap, in that they have 5, not 2.

For more info: http://www.dot.state.il.us/press/r033005.html
This link results in a "page not found" or similar error, and here's why - look at the file name - r033005.html

Let me write that another way for you - 03/30/05. Yes. this was a press release in 2005. The most recent press release reiterates the true portions of this email -
http://www.dot.state.il.us/press/r062409.html

By the way - they have _5_ vans for the entire state of Illinois. Chicago has more than 5 expressways. You are in no more danger on July 1 of getting a ticket than you are today.

Long story short - do you HAVE to slow down in construction zones? Not because of these "NEW" laws. Should you? Absolutely.

So stop sending this to me!!!!

2009 Roster - mid season update

See the previous Roster breakdown

Here's your midseason update with 1 or 2 coming every day up until the All Star Game

Roster #1 - Milton Bradley - "The Mistake". Can't hit, can't field, can't count outs, can't keep his mouth shut. Everything we expected.
Roster #2 - Kosuke Fukudome - Little tip - it helps if you face the plate when the ball crosses it. Stop spinning, even if it is June.
Roster #3 - Kevin Gregg - Not exactly the dominant closer we were all looking for. Neither was Wood, but this guy's last name ain't Wood.
Roster #4 - Geovany Soto - Thought his weight gain in the offseason was rookie laziness. Turns out it was the munchies.
Roster #5 - Ted Lilly - Nobody liked this sign and nobody was right about what was to happen. Only All-Star candidate on the team this year.
Roster #6 - Carlos Marmol - Still can't close the Dutch, let alone an ML team. 12 balls then 9 strikes. You can almost set your watch to it.
Roster #7 - Aaron Miles - When you're batting .203, you're not a switch hitter. You're a switch stander.
Roster #8 - Micah Hoffpauir - The Hoff. That's right, the Hoff. 71 games in and he's still the Hoff. Boo-yah.
Roster #9 - Jake Fox - Never before has one dimensional play been so awesome.
Roster #10 - Derrek Lee - Suddenly realized that the Hoff can play 1st base. Hasn't stopped hitting since. In May, this is a different entry
Roster #11 - Aramis Ramirez - The savior of the Cubs, assuming he gets his stroke back before September and keeps it past October 1.
Roster #12 - Mike Fontenot - Your 2009 starting 2nd baseman - unfortunately. Following the trend of our other lefties.
Yeah, yeah..the rest of these are late. I'm working on it...

8-10-09 - You know what - these useless a-holes aren't worth finishing this roster. Get back to me at the end of september...

Roster #13 - Coming July 1
Roster #14 - Coming July 2
Roster #15 - Coming July 3
Roster #16 - Coming July 4
Roster #17 - Coming July 5
Roster #18 - Coming July 6
Roster #19 - Coming July 7
Roster #20 - Coming July 8
Roster #21 - Coming July 9
Roster #22 - Coming July 10
Roster #23 - Coming July 11
Roster #24 - Coming July 12
Roster #25 - Coming July 13

Reflections

I've been asked about more regular postings - any why not after all, and I was trying to keep up with the "Reflections" posts, but frankly how many different way can you say - Gawd- these guys ain't hitting. Yes there was that brief shining moment from Thurs - Sunday when the Cubs managed to beat a bad Sox team and then sweep a really crappy Indians team, but beyond those four days - newsflash - the Cubs have completely and totally 100% without exception sucked pretty large hemorrhoids.

Guess what folks - this is rapidly shaping into a repeat of the 2004 season. And Jimmy Henny is a large part of that - dismantling a team that won 97 games and repalcing them with inferior parts.

It is a freaking died int he wool miracle that the Cubs are only 3.5 games out of first right now. An absolute God-send. This, folks is a .500 team. Period. As the half way point approaches, we'll re-do the roster breakdown. In fact, let's start now - on twitter and here, leading up to the All Star Game.

Stay tuned.

Nearing the half-way point..

Anyone remember this?
http://oneminutecubs.blogspot.com/2009/04/predictions.html

Yep, as the Cubs play game #73, we near the half way point. We'll take a look at some stats at that point and see how woefully wrong I was, and still am.

I for one am not looking forward to this, but you undoubtedly are...

Soriao needs a nap and other changes.

Lou recently talked aobut some "tough decisions" to come. One of those tough decisions better not be putting Soriano at second. Soriano needs to sit for a while. I was initially thinking a couple of days, but I saw a commenter somewhere suggest a DL stint, and maybe that's not such a bad idea either. Although the prospect of putting in someone who's actually worse defensively (read the Hoff or Fox) kinda scares me. But as long as someone's there who can hit, I'll take it.

Some other names that popped into my head during my 1 hour commute this morning of guys who might be available at positions we can actually change - Miguel Tejada - could play third for a while, then move back to short when Ramirez comes back, then put Theriot or Fontenot (whichever you didn'th ave to move to get Tajada) at second.

Dan Uggla - not thrilled by his defense, but he's shown a relatively consistent and decent power bat.

Brain Roberts - oh yeah. I went there. Not sure how trade-for-able he is tho. Granted these are just names with no research or anything, just names I've heard might be available going to positions we can change.

More on this later.

Vindication...

This pretty much sums up the day:

Yeah, I'm a Bad Ass.


OMG! I'm a dumbass!


What a dumbass...

You F^cking Dumbass...

Bobby Abreu watch - .297/.398/.415/.814

Disclaimer

Hey folks, listen up, cuz I'm only gonna say this once.

I'm a blogger, not a journalist, and barely a "writer" though I do use the English language better than a lot. I don't have a press pass, I don't have any inside contacts, and the longest conversation I've ever had with an athlete was Mark Grace when I was 12 ("Hi!" "How are you?"). So everything I say is baseless. None of it has any substance and for the most part, unless I quote statistics, I don't even research this stuff. Most of what I say is my opinion based on what I see on TV or hear on the radio. Nothing more. If ever there comes a time that I do have anything of substance to report, I will probably die of shock and I WILL cite my sources.

Meantime, enjoy the dialogue, and by dialogue, I mean the posts, and by posts I mean...yeah.

One thing I can say for certain tho - Rickie Weeks does indeed suck - and suck a lot.

Been a while...

Ok, ok, so I've neglected my throngs of readers here on OMC. I've been tweeting up a storm tho, so hopefully you follow me over there. But in general, I haven't had much more than 140 characters worth to say.
One update - Milton Bradley shall henceforth be known as "The Mistake" - he still sucks.
Jake Fox was sent to the minors to make way for switch hitting Miles - nice move - actually - he could use the consistent AB's so I don't have too much of a problem with that.
Derrek Lee no longer sucks monkey balls. He's been upgraded to just not hitting for power, which still sucks, but...
Fuku has shocked the baseball world by not sucking in June.
Soto has shocked the baseball world by continuing to suck into June.
Ted Lilly is emerging as the Ace of the staff, tho Z did have a good showing last night.
Guzman is seeking full time employment in Marmol's job.

More to come undoubtedly...

Missed opportunity...

So McClouth is a Brave now. This rather irritates me because, once again, as I called for back in Nov-Dec. I'd rater see McClouth in a Cubs uniform than Milt. Coulda saved us a bunch of money, gotten some speed and power in the lineup and prevented the necessity of other bone-headed moves (Read: DeRosa). Coulda had Mickey in center, and Fuku in right.

Now a move doesn't make sense, unless you're dumping Milt or Fuku - yeah right. So good for the Braves. Bad for Jimmy.

WSOX is on the air...

Well, congratulations Sox fans - you've got your own radio station now. The Score announced today that Dan McNeil - formerly of the Mac, Jerko and Harry show - will join the WSCR team on June 15th, replacing Holmes, Hampton and Murphy, and virtually guaranteeing that any talk about the Northsiders will be minimal and as negative as possbile. Granted, that won't be that hard this season. WSCR hasn't officially gone so far as to change their call letters to WSOX, but they've made their intentions pretty clear with this move.

Mac worked out so well for the ESPNers that he was both suspended and fired within the space of the last year, so have fun with that Scoreians. I will keep my radio locked firmly on WGN or ESPN, when I bother to venture into the AM world at all.

Murph - you weren't the best host in the world, but at least you could reliably at least refer to the Cubs on about a daily basis, and that will be missed. LHolmes and Hampton - I wasn't always awake for your show, but whne I was, it was ok to listen to, tho you're both far more football oriented than I normally care for.

So, to sum up, congratualtions Sox fans - you have your own station now. I'm sure you'll flock to the station in droves - as long as they keep winning. First losing streak, and I'm sure the Score will see how much a good idea it is to align their station with Sox fans.

P.S. All Score references from here on out will be referred to as "WSOX"

No Defense...

Headline: Chicago Cubs' Jim Hendry defends Mark DeRosa trade

That should read: Jim Hendry attempts to explain his long series of bone headed moves, which happened to include Mark DeRosa. It included this little nugget:
"But there wasn't anywhere else to get left-handed, you know. And over time, I think we will see that we got pretty good guys for him. So we mixed and matched some of the dollars that were made with [DeRosa] and other guys who are not here, and added the guys that we did."

Ok, first of all, if I hear one more Cubs guys say the words "left-handed", in relation to bats of bullpen, one more time I'm going to go Farnsworth on your ass.

Second of all - let's examine how these lefties have improved the team:

DeRosa - 266/.333/.446/.779
Miles - .204/.250/.265/.515
Bradley - .200/.328/.390/.718
Fontenot - .223/.309/.385/.693

Wow...those lefties are really hitting the sh*t out of the ball huh?
Oh and PS. DeRosa has more homers than the other three...COMBINED!

And let's not forget
Blanco - .182/.262/.364/.626
Bako - Currently working as a boat cleaner in Dayton, OH.

As it turns out, Hill blows both out of the water, so to be fair - that one doesn't hurt too much.

Dumb A$$ things people have said about the Cubs

Constantly updated. Here's a few that have already happened (from twitter):

Mar 10th - Headline: "Vizcaino in jeopardy of losing spot in Cubs' bullpen" - WHAT? You mean he's not the ace out of the bullpen we all thought he was?

Apr 22nd - Headline: "Bradley returns to Cubs' lineup vs. Reds" Still can't hit.

Apr 26th - Headline: "Cubs seek clutch hitting in finale with Cards" - Actually, we'll just settle for hitting.

Apr 26th - Ron Santo quote of the day - "He definitely I think may be swinging. Or maybe not."

Apr 29th - Headline: "Unfazed Soto returns to Cubs' lineup" - Really? Cuz from here he looks fazed

Apr 30th - Headline: "So far, Hendry's moves haven't worked out for Cubs" - Oh my God! What a scoop!

May 3rd - The next one's my own dipsh*ttedness
Quade needs realize that Having DLee on deck is that much more reason to send the freakin' runner! Posted before Lee's AB for the record.
Derrek Lee then hit a Grand Slam, literally seconds after I posted that...

May 10th - Headline: Elbow injury has Cubs' Fox facing uncertain future (AP) - It should read "Fox having trouble accepting pretty darn certain future"

May 24th - Headline: NL scout: 'Derrek Lee doesn't drive the ball like he used to' - OMG! Really? Are you sure? I mean you DO have a scout's trained eye...

May 25th - Quote - And with the $15.65 million Aramis Ramirez on the disabled list, the $30 million Milton Bradley hitting .188 with a pitcher-esque .310 slugging average and 2008 rookie of the year Geo Soto still stuck at .202, Piniella's options for shakeups fall somewhere between few and none. - It's interesting because in this example, he cites the two positions - Right field and Catcher - that actually DO have "options for shakeups". Ahem Hoffpaiur and Hill.

May 28th - Headline: "Cubs Hendry defends trading away Mark DeRosa" - Yeah. Davy Crocket defended the Alamo...how'd that work out for him?

June 19th - Heeadline: "Cubs GM Jim Hendry wouldn't hesitate to deal" - Really? Cuz from here it looks like hesitating...
More to undoubtedly come...

June 28th - Headline: "Marmol isn't ready to give up his All-Star dreams" - Get Ready......Fast

June 29th - Headline: "Soriano needs final push for All-Star start" - Great. Happy to help. Where's the cliff?

July 16th - Headline: "Piniella meets President Obama" Any chance of a Bradley Bailout? How about Soriano relief? What's FEMA's position on bullpens?

August 13th - Headline: "Cubs look to finish season series [vs. Phillies] strong" - At this point, we'll settle for "not weak"

August 19th - via Twitter - @PWSullivan Cubs have no answers for August slide. - Oh really? How about the 2009 slide?

August 19th - Musky the Cub's blog - "8/19 Hendry: "It's 'whatever it takes' time" - Except of course actually doing anything...

August 23rd - Headline: Dodgers slap Cubs 2-0; Soriano open to some time off - You mean like, the next 5 years?

Knock Knock Knock

So, now we know the asking price for Peavy - two young ML ready pitchers with strong potential and two lower level prospects. Interesting. I'm still not thrilled at the prospect of a 4 for 1 swap, but Peavy called out Hendry - I'm here...just waiting for you to man up. "Middle America" cough cough Chicago cough cough. Peavy all but said I'm not going anywhere but Chicago - north Chicago that is. So bring him in Jimmy. Maybe he can catch a plane with us on Sunday...

Jake Peavy to White Sox?

Sigh..

This would just be the final nail in the coffin that is the utter dismal failure of an offseason that Jim Hendry had. Have at him White Sox. Good for you. If anyone needs me, I'll be on the ledge.

Strike three called

Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called

Damn. It's really f%*ing annoying watching the same thing over and over again isn't it????
Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called Strike three called

Who the heck is "The Miz"???

So wrestling came to town the other night allowing dozens of trailer park security guards to take the night off. During this little Hicks Gone Wild soap opera, some dude called "The Miz" called out Soriano who was, unbelivably, actually there, and proceeded to bash Alfy and our beloved Cubbies, using all the standard cliches and proving that WWE script writers are drastically overpaid and should probably be returned to their respective zoos.

Here's the thing Mr. Miz.:
A. there are many many easier targets on the Cubs to rip this year. Sori's actually been somewhat of a Godsend this year, so bashing him only further illustrates your ignorance.
B. It will take more on your resume than "has been MTV reality show cast member" before anyone takes you seriously.
C. Sori makes more money per games than you d in a year.
D. Unlike your occupation and your wife's orgasms, what Sorino does is real.

So sit down Miz, come up with a stage name that doesn't make you sound like a pompous woman, and most importantly - Know your role and shut your mouth!

It kinda makes me wonder...

How many other failed center fielders we can send to the Orioles. Or right fielders for that matter. Patterson, Pie, Gathright - Here's the best part, the Orioles are sending us cash to make up for Freel's Salary. So let's examine this trade a bit -

Gathright - a "Speed guy" who's gotten picked off more often than the's actualyl stolen a base.
Freel - "Super-utility" man with the versatility of DeRosa, but not the bat.

I'll take Freel. Granted in this case he's the lesser of two evils, but if Piniella had any sense he wouldn't even give Gathright an uniform any more.

Hendry has just pulled off his first successful move since last October. So he's like 1 for 12, which coincidentally is also Freel's BA.

What does it take???

This is mostly directed to Aaron Miles and Milton Bradley but would someone please tell me whose rod we have to suck to get these pansies to swing the freakin' bats??? Are the Cubs just believing too much of their own press about how "patient" they are at the plate? Time and timw again just staring glass-eyed while the umpire calls strike 3. Aaron and Milt are by far the biggest offenders, but they're all doing it. Patience at the plate means exactly d*ck if you strike out every other AB.

So step up and swing the bats for crap's sake.

Manny goes down.

OMFG

All the posturing, all the glamour, all the crap.

He's Barry Freakin' Bonds. No wonder he wouldn't cut his hair.

About Booing...

Booing is a necessary part of the fan experience. It's overused and imprecise, but it's our right to do it.
Before the Home Opener, fans booed Glendon Rusch and Jason Marquis - why? Jason Marquis was traded - and probably shouldn't have been - either way - no choice there.
Glendon Rusch - c'mon the guy almost died. And the Cubs held onto him for the rest of the season when he almost died. He recovered and went elsewhere - that's not Booable - that's applaudable.

But anyway....Now, if all the fans could simultaneously say "Gee Lou, this lineup sucks" or "Hey Theriot, we really think you should've caught that ball", then yes booing in general is a bad idea. We however do not have the ability to sync up 40,000 voices to deliver a message - so we boo.

You're all big boys - get over it or get off the field. Go play in Kansas City where they expect mediocrity. Not here. Not any more.

Now shut up and stop screwing up.

Reflections on the Last week.

Normally, I'll reflect on each series, but it's been a weird week.
Good homestand bookended but complete nonsense.
Overall - That's more like it.
Last Friday - wtf?
Last Tuesday WTF?????
The "Lincecum Lineup" needs to go - you did a great misservice to the fans and Marshall throwing that crap out there.
The booing on Friday and Tuesday were WELL DESERVED.
The other games were more on par what we've come to expect. Friday and Tuesday were what we USED to expect.
Lou this isn't golf - you don't get a lineup mulligan.
I'm probably not done talking about the "Lincecum Lineup"

5 Reasons not to panic.

5. 87% of the season is left.

4. The Cardinals, Brewers, Reds, and Pirates are not that good.

3. The Cubs are not this bad.

2. Alfonso Soriano is showing more patience at the plate, and hitting the piss out of the ball for the past 30 days - well beyond his normal pattern

1. The Cubs started slow last year too - not THIS slow, but slow. In 2007, they were worse (10-14) and we remember how that season ended.

Five reasons to Panic

5. Virtually every move Jim Hendry made over the offseason has failed thus far.

4. Derrek Lee is still batting in the middle of the order.

3. Marmol's losing ways from the WBC don't seem to have ended with the WBC

2. The bullpen can't seem to find the strike zone with both hands and a flashlight.

1. 13% of the season is over

Monkeys playing with their own poop

Would someone please explain to me why we're all root root rooting for these
dipsh1ts? What are we thinking? Adding insult to injury tonight, Lou Piniella has gone freakin batty now. Let's examine this move here -

Well, gee, I've got my left-handed (remember the l;eft handed crap????) third-baseman whoi is noramlly a second baseman playing out of position, comeing up to bat against a leftly reliever. I have the Hoff, Johnson, Ramirez, and Soto on my bench (and Gathright, but we don't really count him), let's see who I should pinch hit with -
A. The Hoff - nah lefty lefty combo.
B. Soto - Eh, he's been kinda weak recently, and I'm not sure I want to use my backup catcher in a pinch hitting role.
C. Ramirez - Pinch hit a natural, right handed, clutch hitting, third baseman for a third baseman playing out of position?

No, no, no. Here's a better idea - I'll pinch hit my weak-hitting center fielder, and THEN, I'll play my catcher at third base and put my backup catcher behind the plate.

Now, go ahead. Tell me I'm second-guessing. F-You. F-You hard at night. this isn't second guessing. This is common freaking sense.

What in God's name are we watching here????

Twittering Tweets

Just FYI folks - I update twitter far more often than I do the blog. If it can be said in 140 char or less, that's where it goes.

Most folks would say I'm more tolerable in small doses anyway...

I also accept any and all friend requests on Facebook.

http://oneminutecubs.blogspot.com/2009/03/omc-on-web.html

Reflections on Arizona

Lefties scare the bejesus out of our newly-refurbished left handed lineup.
In order to be successful, you have to know your role, even if that means you have to sit down for the currently-superior catcher - Koyie Hill.
Lou doesn't know that.
Arizona is not a Cub-friendly environment.
May may not be considered "early" anymore.
The Cubs got off to a slow start last year too - but not this slow.
Derrek needs to move down.
Milt tripled his hit count over the weekend and broke that elusive triple-digit batting average barrier.
The Cubs can walk in runs too.

Reflections on St. Louis

The Cardinals are better than we all expected.
The Cubs aren't.
One cannot expect an offensive onslaught when one's four best hitters can't play - unless it's Sunday
Lou Piniella is Milton Bradley's prison b-$%6.
Tony LaRussa and Dave Duncan's kung fu is very strong
Daddy got Chris Duncan his job - that and the fact that he can hit the piss out of the ball.
Ron Santo is only alive because Pat Hughes keeps pulling him off the ledge.
It's only 17 games in, so it's early. But not THAT early.
We have found the one bench player even more worthless than Felix Pie - and he jumps over BMW's.

Top ten reasons why Jim Hendry sucked (base)balls this offseaon

The top 5 involve Mark DeRosa.
10. Signed Paul Bako to a 1 year deal worth $750,000 as backup catcher, only to realize later that a guy who cut off his hand catches throws and bats better. Meanwhile, the mentor of your now slumping primo catcher signed for the same price to the Padres.
9. Failed to close the door on Jake Peavy while the Padres were in a position of weakness. Now they're winning, and we suck. Good for you for not taking the ridiculous 5 for 1 deal, but you shoulda whittled it down to a 3 for 1 or something similar.
8. Signed the hot headed, but who really gives a crap about that, and more importantly INJURY PRONE Milton Bradley who right now is a 30-million dollar bench player.
7. Failed to resign Kerry Wood for a 1 year deal. Even at 10 million, which I honestly don't beleive it would've taken, he effectively turned a huge strength last year into a huge weakness this year. The loss of a dominant power pitcher at the end of the bullpen cannot be unerestimated.
6. Focused far too much on which side of the plate someone stands on without paying attention to other minor points, like i don't know, the ability to play.

And now...the D-Ro 5....

5. Traded Mark DeRosa, eliminating a clubhouse leader, a versatile player, a clutch hitter, and a fan favorite - not a good days work.
4. Attempted to repalce him with Aaron Miles, who is a switch hitter, but only plays middle infield positions. This would be the same Aaron Miles who the Cardinals did not want. This would be the same Cardinals who are now using a left fielder to play second base - Miles' position. If that's not a warning sign, I don't know what is.
3. Effectively eliminated a reasonable backup for Aramis Ramirez, who by the way, had to leave yesterday's game iwth a calf strain and seems headed for the DL.
2. Only received 3 prospects in the trade. Yes, I said prospects, not one of which is even close to ML ready. This move did not ultimately culminate in a Peavy trade making it a complete and total failure.
1. With two players not playing - Milt and Ramy - the missing D-Ro is magnified because he played both of those positions remarkably well.

So, in summary, while I have been a Hendry fan in the past, this past winter we completely dropped his kibble and obsessed with left-handed hitting, when just hitting would've sufficed.

You reap what you sow

Here is the latest and greatest from Musky the cub. Bradley, it seems doesn't like talking about being injured or him not hitting.
"You come in here and all they want to talk about is how often you get hurt and your attitude and everything. I've given them an example right off the bat. I just don't feel like getting caught up in all the negativity."

Here's a thought Milt - Stop getting hurt and hit the ball. Guess what? You can't not be hurt - this should be old to you by now. You've been on the DL so often, people are starting to think you retired. Get over it. You can't come to Chicago and be surprised that people - and by the way I should say - a $^&%load of people want to talk about you being a hot head in a wheelchair.

If the shoe fits, Milty.

Oh and by the way -

Abreu - AVG - .373 OBP - .433 SLG - .407 OPS - .840

I'm not sayin' - I'm just sayin'

Reflections on Cincy

Ouch...that one hurt.
The first series we lost this year - Cincy.
Their pitching is pretty good.
Ours isn't.
Griffy? Dunn? Who needs 'em?
2 weeks does not a season make, but batting below the Mendoza line does not a baseball player make.
Ahem, Fontenot, Miles, Bradley.
Lilly may very well be the most consistently good pitcher on this staff.
That's a scary thought.
Samardzija may not be the answer.
We're not sure what the question is yet.
Soriano is not carrying us any more. Our 10 days are up. Please check back around the end of May. And as always, thank you for calling.

The Return of Dusty...

Here's a story by Gordo Today - We're gonna break this one down a bit...

Three years later, all Dusty Baker has to do is walk on the field to make a pitching change with his new team, and the boos rain down from the stands at Wrigley Field -- the chorus every time he emerged from the Cincinnati dugout Tuesday night.

Cubs veterans who played for him in Chicago day he doesn't deserve it.

Um, yeah, he kinda does...MAYBE 3 years is a little extreme, but, yeah....he kinda does..

''I don't really understand it. I don't know what he did to still be getting booed here,'' said first baseman Derrek Lee, whose Florida Marlins ended Baker's first-year October run with the Cubs in 2003 before he played the next three seasons under Baker.

Well Derrek - he kinda sucked - a lot and failed to keep the team from sucking and made LaTroy a closer, and played Neifi all the time, and killed Wood and Prior's arms, and you get the idea....

''It's a little disappointing,'' he added.

So was 2006...

''It wasn't his fault,'' said third baseman Aramis Ramirez, who played all four seasons with Baker in Chicago. ''I mean, nobody could manage that team we had in [2006]. We had guys coming from AA. [Carlos] Marmol was a starter. We had Juan Mateo -- you guys don't even remember him, probably. We just had a bad team, and it's not his fault.

I know A-Ram...you're so right. I mean that'd be a improbable as, oh I don't know, managing an 83 win team into a World Series title...

''If you give Dusty a good team, I guarantee, he'll be in the playoffs, too.'

If you give ME a good team, I'll get you in the playoffs...

And Lou, I might actually win a game....

Reflections on St. Louis

April can be a "Playoff Atmosphere"
Daddy got Chris Duncan his job.
The Cardinals aren't as bas as we expected this year - but they still suck.
Ryan Ludwick is going to be a PITA this year.
Alfonso Soriano can lead off just as long as he wants - and shut up about it.
Ramirez remain the best clutch hitter on the Cubs and maybe in baseball.
Gregg can, in fact, pitch more than 1 inning.
Cleveland Indians - HOLY CRAP!! - not from our series, but noteworthy enough to mention.
The Cardinals are and always will be securely bent over at the waist right in front of us with their pants around their ankles.

Reflections on Colorado

Baseball players from DENVER Complain about our cold.
It was really freakin' cold on opening day
4 pound pretzels are really hard to find, especially when nobody knows they have them.
Cubs fans will boo anyone who is no longer a Cub, including those who left involuntarily and those who almost died.
Lilly was a sleeper all the years before he became a Cub and is a lot better than anyone gives him credit for.
Reed is an average player who has milliseconds of greatness at JUST the right time.
Marquis wasn't as bad as everyone thought - today he was better.
Fontenot can play 3rd base, but don't quit your day job.
It's ridiculously hard to keep track of who's who when everyone wears the same number and no names on their backs. Except Reed - He looks like Scott Ian...

The Pretzel Saga...

Took my wife to Opening day for her birthday - yes, I have a wife who's cool enough to accept opening day tickets for as a b0day present. When we go there, she tells me about this 4-pound pretzel that everyone is talking aobut and how she really wants one. Ok, sweetie muffin honeycake, I'll get you one. So off I go. Bear in mind, we're sitting in section 236, which is almost on Sheffield Ave.

I went to the concourse, or "the basement" as I like to call it, and ask the first vendor I see. He blinks twice and says "go that way" and points to his right, which is by the waty the only way I can go without leaving the park. So I stop by another conseccion counter. Enter "Deer in headlights" guy who turns to the counter manager person, who also looks lost, but with an unmistakable air of authority to their losticity. They tell me to go near the main gate. Ok. So I go to a place by the main gate, and ask and they say "Go to stand 1" Ohhh..hey..stand one. That sounds like official terminology, so that's gotta be right. Stand 1 by the way is about 6 feet away from Waveland Ave - Remember where I said I was sitting? So I get to stand one, and they have no idea what I'm talking about, but I should try and find a roving vendor in the stands...right...So I go up stairs, back into the stands and find an usher who looks like they're just a hair under 85 - must be new - and ask them. No idea. right. So I climb the stairs, and ask another usher - this is because there are no vendors wandering the empty stands 30 min before scheduled game time (and aobut 90 min before actual game time) - go figure - and they tell me to go ask the stand that's right under the radio booth. Ok...So I ask them. They say they've gotta be in the concourse. Uh huh. so back down I go. I find another styand, and I'm told stand #7. Really? Where's that? oh you see right over there? Yeah. They have them...alrighty! Hi, are you stand 7? Great. Can I have a 4 pound pretzel.......Yeah...no idea. So I turn aorund and start my way back, when suddently it hits me - Customer Service - they gotta know. Excuse me, do you know where I can buy a 4 pound pretzel? And here's the words I've been looking for - "No, but I will find out...one moment." YES! I'm going to get my pretzel!!
So Morty comes down. His name is not actually Morty, but I call him Morty cuz he looks like a Morty. So Morty leads me to this place called "The Blue W" and there it is...One vendor among 100 that sells these damn pretzels and can I have one of those? 15 bucks?!?!? Fine..give me the dang pretzel.

And it was mine and it was good. My wife was very happy, and as they say on 'GN - Happy wife, Happy life.

Pictures to follow.

Reflections on Milwaukee...

Our closer can't do more than 3 outs.
Our offense has a good chance of digging us out of any holes our bullpen digs
Milton - told ya so...
Fonzie and Aramis are both cadillacin' it on routine grounders.
Fonzie is a game changer - offensively in a good way, defensively in a bad way.
No doubles doesn't always mean no doubles.
Maybe Fuku won't suck as bad as we all thought....but he still might.
Prince won't offer at the inside breaking ball.

The definitive guide to locating the four pound pretzel

That's right, I said 4 pound pretzel. Lots of folks have been talking about this thing, but I actually found it.

So the first thing you need to know is: Don't ask anybody. You will only confuse them and be told something that will get you as far away from the person you are asking as possible.
Second, it's called a northside twist, but this information will not help you.
Third, they say it's a two pound pretzel, not 4 pound - by the time I found it, I did not care. Nor did I care about the $15 price tag.
Step 1. Go to the concourse.
Step 2. Proceed in the direction of the main gate behind home plate.
Step 3. Once at the gate turn away from them.
Step 4. Locate 'The Blue W'. This is a vendor, not a flag or a letter of the alphabet.
Step 5. Ask the cashier for the big friggin' pretzel.
Step 6. Do the happy dance.
Step 7. Post an appreciative comment here...You're welcome.

Dang....Aren't we critical??

Check out Gordo's latest on last night's clusterf%&^:
Cubs still out of sync
Some highlights:

• The cocktail party is over
  
• ...Ryan Theriot's back-footed throw from deep in the shortstop hole...
  
• ...Gregg's 3-2 slider to nondescript Chris Duffy... <--Bulletin board material!
  
• ...and a nine-game homestand in front of a crowd with little tolerance for shaky closers.
  
• ...Miles hit into a double play to end the inning. And Marmol was spent for nothing.
  
• But Piniella also promised ''adjustments'' if needed. And it won't take many finishes like this one for that to happen.
  

I mean, that's nothing compared to some of the stuff I've said over the past 10 months, but I'm a blogger. I can get away with that :) I'm not saying I disagree with any of it - far from it - but it's not the type of journalism I've come to expect.

Just interesting is all. BTW: In the interest of being fair, I don't plan to jump on the "Fire Gregg" bandwagon until he reaches 5 Blown Saves - Kerry Wood had 6 last year and everyone love him.

I WILL say tho - Gregg is NOT Wood, nor should Hendry have pretended he was. You could've signed Wood for a song and you said "No thanks, we've got Gregg. We're good."

Dipsh%$

Reflections in Houston

What did we learn?

Zambrano CAN actually win an opener of some sort.
Everyone on the Cubs douses their drawers at the intimidating prospect of facing the great and mighty Wandy.
Chicks dig the long ball - and so apparently does Ted Lilly.

In all, the offense did nicely - kinda sputtered a bit in game 2. Lou's still learning the bullpen. Overall, series win - good things.

On to Milwaukee!

One down...

161 to go...

Z pitches well. Soriano and Ramirez do what they do best. Sadly, so do Lee and Fuku. The Hoff comes through. Gregg gets the save. Bradley only tanks one ball in the OF. 20 games.....20 games.....

All good times. Sure Gregg's ERA is 9. who's gonna notice a little thing like that?

The secoind best part of the day - Fat Bastard got lit up in Baltimore....Just something about him being on the Brewers and annoying us like a mosquito in our ear just makes me hope he fails...and fails bad. But hey, he's not even in our league any more. So let's not burn up too many minutes on him. Rickie Weeks - still sucks donkey BA115.

Important point of the day - Z is no longer winless in openers...

Opening Day!

Hendry finalized his roster yesterday. Took me until today. I was getting nervous about those last two spots, but thankfully, there are deadlines.

It's OPENING DAY!!!!! OMFG I'm so psyched. I've been chomping on the baseball bit for quite some time now and now I get to watch meaningful baseball....or at least baseball that counts...

Booyah!

Predictions

Yeah....open mouth insert foot. I might break these down a bit, but for now - here we go:

OVerall impressions - Less impressed with this lineup than last year. There is less versatility, but more potential pop. I don't beleive for a second that Milton Bradley will start more than 100 games or that Aaron Miles will have anywhere near the production of Mark DeRosa. I do however think that having Fontenot at second closer to full time will be a benefit. The bullpen is also weaker overall, but not bad. So, without further ado, lets get into it.

Total wins - 94

1st NL Central by 5 games

Team Batting Average - .264

Milton Bradley games - 96

Fukudome games - 100

Rich Harden Starts - 24

Rich Harden Starts of 7+ innings - 5

Over/under 200 innnings for starters -
Dempster - over
Lilly - over
Zambrano - over
Harden - under
Marshall - under

No surprises there.

Home Runs -
The Hoff - 13 9
Bradley - 25
Lee - 20
Ramirez - 33
Soriano - 35
Fontenot - 23
Soto - 19

Yes, Fontenot will have more home runs than Lee.

Starters ERA - 4.25
Relievers ERA - 3.85
Marmol ERA - 2.49
Gregg ERA - 3.15

Runs Per Game - 4.89
Runs Allowed Per Game - 4.35

One Run games W - 59%

Home Wins - 52
Road Wins - 42

This is based on nothing except gut. We'll see.

Less than thrilled.

Judd Sirrott...sucks...Listened to about 10 minutes of him in the car...dang...

Cubs in NY...Less than impressive. Lilly and Harden both got lit up. Excellent.

But hey, it's spring, so who gives a crap. The biting commentary starts Monday.

Coming Soon...

You're not really considered a sports writer unless you do this. Somehow it defies all logic and reason, but it's gotta be there. Mostly, I think, just so people can make fun of you in 6 months. But who am I tro argue with convention...

Predictions and over/unders for the upcoming season.

Whoa boy...

Brick wall..

You know? I'm happy for the Bear. good for you. you got a great Quarterback. But couldn't you have done this back in January? C'mon, it's 3 days before opening day and people are STILL talking about the Bears. Shut up people..it's our turn now.

Damn you Bears. Damn you...

Pitching decisions...

From the Gordo twitter -
Lou and Hendry met this AM: Final pitching decisions to go into weekend. 4 for 2 spots: Samardzija, Gaudin, Patton, Guzman

So, let's look.

Samardzija - started to hiccup just a bit late last year. Has had a less-than-impressive Spring. It's decision time - make him a reliever, which he did well for the bulk of his playing time last year, or move him to starter in which case means going to IA.
Gaudin - The Dark Horse better art of the Harden deal last year. Frankly hasn't impressed me yet, some good outings, some bad outings. Out of options - no way in hell he clears waivers and hasn't missed a bat all spring...But...keep him for now.
Patton - Pretty much unhittable this spring, but if there's one thing spring teaches us, it's that you have to read between a lot of lines to figure out what'll happen up north. However if you don't keep him, you lose him...
Guzman - Has never impressed me, at all. Not that he's not good. I'm sure he's a decent reliever, but just not needed right now.

Props for Kapper

Very enjoyable show tonight by our good friend David Kaplan on the 'GN. Basically he contacted gms and beat reporters of other NL Central and get the low down.

My favorite highlight was Doug Melvin, up north. When asked, what is your biggest strength, Mel's reply was something to the effect of:

We have 9 really good players that can all play 150 games easily.

Umm...just so we're clear - you're the GM of a baseball franchise, and your greatest strength is your ability to field a complete team?

And you guys wonder why you can't win...

Is Rickie Weeks one of those starters?

Anywho, once again props to Kapper for a very enjoyable show tonight.

Closers up!

Well, well well. No ego stroking coming out of camp this spring. Kevin Gregg is your closer, winning out against Carlos "Dutch flubber" Marmol. I was actually rather hoping this would happen for a couple of reasons. Now, Gregg gets a short leash, with Marmol ready to step in if needed. And Marmol can actually go back to doing what he did so insanely well last year and that's closing the door in the 7th and 8th innings.

Yes, we know Marmol was "supposed" to be the next great closer. But for now he's the best bullpen man in baseball, including closers and Carlos, you're just gonna have to settle for that.

"His mediocre spring numbers and WBC struggles weren't a factor, he said."

Uh huh...

670 The Score's Tournament of Bad

From my limited understanding, here's what I believe the Tournament of Bad is: A list of 64 bad things face off against each other NCAA March Madness style. People vote which is worse, winner moves on, etc. Here are the Cubs entries -

Ronnie Woo Woo, Cubs Playoff Baseball, Ron Santo's Hairpiece

Cubs Playoff Baseball was knocked of in the second round being extremely bad, but not as bad as "The View" - ok, no argument there. Ron Santo's Hairpiece looks to make its exit against the same program in this round. Ronnie Woo Woo is still holding strong in round 3, having beaten "Boneless, Skinless chicken breast" and "Sarah Palin" and while that would be a close matchup, yes Ronnie is worse. Woo Woo could take this thing all the way, needing to beat out only DePaul Basketball to advance to the final four.

Having said that, my personal favorites in this tournament -
"The Creepy Relationship Between Billy Ray and Miley Cyrus" (still alive)
"The misuse of their, there and they're" - although they could've included sooooo many other words (still alive)
"Joaquin Phoenix - The Rapper (eliminated in the first round)

Irony of the day

From http://blogs.chicagosports.chicagotribune.com/sports_hardball/2009/03/cubsd-add-restaurant-may-move-from-mesa.html

"The Cubs might leave Mesa as a spring training homeafter 2012. Kenney said the Cubs need a more modern and expanded facility, especially for their year-round baseball operations, and have been talking with cities in Florida."

Umm....does Krane know where the Cubs play during the regular season?

OMC on the web.

So here's how you can find me elsewhere on the web, if you care enough :)
I'll update this with more links as they become available.

Twitter - http://twitter.com/oneminutecubs
Facebook - http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1488293531&ref=profile

No, no, no

I swear to everything holy, I will take a baseball bat to anyone who thinks of another way to break this curse. In the latest dose of stupidity, on an international scale no less, you know what - just read. It's so incredibly inane, I can't bring myself to say it - http://www.suntimes.com/sports/baseball/cubs/1476588,CST-NWS-cubs14.article

This is blowing up the Bartman ball, this is bringing a goat to opening day, this is eating goat burgers, and this is bringing a Greek Orthodox priest to the first game of the 2008 playoffs. This is acknowledging the curse as anything but what it is - a stupid little fairy tale we tell our kids get them to go to bed.

Talk about the curse, joke about it, acknowledge it all you want, but don't try to break it, because trying to break it only makes it stronger. The ONLY way, ONLY way ONLY WAY to break it is to win. Period, done, end of list.

Nothing to worry about?

So I'm listeing to WSCR Zach Z, and he's going on and on about how this is the best spring trianing and we have nothing to worry aobut and blah blah, and I'm thinking to myself - we have more holes than last year! Let's talk aobut a few things -

A. A closer that can't close out the Dutch
B. A starting pitcher who can't be relied on for over 80 pitches, maybe 25 times.
C. No full time second baseman with all due respect to Fontenot.
D. A Right Fielder who played 20 games in RF last year - this is not a knock on his defense. This is a knock on his health.
E. No backup for Aramis Ramirez.

Three Words - two-thousand-four. everyone was sitting pretty back then thinking we had it made....for a minute anyway...

2009 Roster

On twitter, I've been doing one roster member per day as a countdown to Spring training. I'll compile them all into here:

Roster #1- Carlos Zambrano - Being this crazy never looked this good. Scary when he's on. Scarrier when he's off.
Roster #2 - Aramis Ramirez - Mr. Clutch in the regular season needs a freakin' tennis racket in the post season.
Roster #3 - Carlos Marmol - Can't close against the Dutch, but I'm sure he'll do fine against the Cardinals and Brewers
Roster #4 - Ryan Dempster - #3 starter had a #1 year, due mostly to the fact that he twists his hand unnaturally and he's Canadian.
Roster #5 - Ted Lilly - Was supposed to not suck. Was supposed to eat innings. Then he goes and wins 34 games over two years. How dare he?
Roster #6 - Mike Fontenot - Your 2009 starting 2nd baseman. He's mini-me with a mega-bat.
Roster #7 - Reed Johnson - Platooning once again. Don't bunt to Longoria again - ever - and we'll be ok...
Roster #8 - Alfonso Soriano - He's going to lead off. Get over it. He can't hit a beachball if he doesn't. Theriot can lead off after him.
Roster #9 - Milton Bradley - More than 20 games in RF would be nice. Remember there's no wussy DH over here...
Roster #10 - Derrek Lee - He's a solid leader, both in the clubhouse and in double plays. No longer a #3 hitter - more like 5 or 6.
Roster #11 - Micah Hoffpauir - The Hoff. That's right. The Hoff. Got a problem with that?
Roster #12 - Kevin Gregg - Your new Kerry Wood, only not. Your new closer, only not. Your dominant setup guy, only not... Who is this guy??
Roster #13 - Rich Harden - Devestating stuff. The best pitcher in baseball - 20 pitches at a time.
Roster #14 - Kosuke Fukudome - probably won't suck as bad as he did last year...As Tom Seleck said "It's not a srump!"
Roster #15 - Neal Cotts - At this point the only lefty option out of the bullpen. Which is exactly the only reason he has a job...
Roster #16 - Geovany Soto - His dad gave him a catcher's mask when he was 3 and said "Shut up and wear it". Go dad....
Roster #17 - Aaron Miles - He's like a bargain basement Mark DeRosa wannabe who costs half the price - you get what you pay for...
Roster #18 - Ryan Theriot - The Riot! On-Base fiend. Thinks he's a lot faster than he actually is. If he can up the steal rate....scary...
Roster #19 - Koyie Hill - Gets his hand cut off and still catches 95 mph heaters. Frickin' hard core baby...Frickin' hard core...
Roster #20 - Joey Gathright - The new Felix Pie. Will come in handy if we need to steal a base or, you know, jump over a BMW...
Roster #21 - Sean Marshall - Should be the primary lefty bullpen option, but then Peavy should be wearing blue pinstripes...Cest La Vie
Roster #22 - Luis Vizcaino - You better not suck as bad as I think you're gonig to.
Roster #23 - Aaron Heilman - Traded twice during the offseason. So good, 2 teams wanted him.Wait.That also means 2 teams didn't want him.
Roster #24 - Angel Guzman - Keeping things warm for Samardzija or Hart until Piniella realizes just had bad this guy is..
Roster #25 - David Patton - Never pitched above A-ball? You'll fit right in. Welcome to the Cubs.

Closer Marmol can't seem to close...

Ok, so I didn't hear about the FIRST time the Dominican Republic managed to blow a game to the Netherlands, but the second time, it seems it was our little boy, I'm pitching, no I'm not, yes I am Marmol blowing the savge. Against the Dutch. All due respect to our European brothers and sisters, but the Royals have more talent on their team than the Netherlands, led by their fearless leader Randall "The-Sausage-King-of-wait-is-he-really-Dutch?" Simon.
Granted there was an error in the inning, but umm does this not scare the living Bejesus out of anyone else? Am I alone here?

I'd love to say "Suddenly, letting Kerry Wood walk doesn't seem like such a great idea," except, it's not SUDDENLY.

I sure hope Gregg can close...

minute...

The beginning of the end

Great...First Facebook, which is BTW a joke in case you haven't figured that one out yet...Now, yes, I've taken the twitter plunge. Although I have yet to figure out a use for this riduculous service. Gordon "I'm Jaques Jones's prison B$^&" Wittlessmeyer not too bad on it, but i'm not sure I have it in me...

We'll see where it goes. About the only place I can see this going is my posts here getting shorter...

https://twitter.com/onetwittedcubs

What Milton wants...

http://www.suntimes.com/sports/baseball/cubs/1461426,CST-SPT-cub05.article

''I'll take the asking about my health [over] asking about my character or the person I am,'' Bradley said. ''I can live with that.''

hehehe....really.. because quad-man, that's EXACTLY what people will be talking aobut. Not that you're moody-spice, but the fact that you're not playing. Like at all. There is no DH in the NL, sparky, so let's not get hurt shall we? Or believe me, talking about the fact that you're ape-sh%^ crazy will seem like a honeymoon.

We've had our injuries - Prior, Wood, Corey Patterson, D-Lee, Soriano. You're just next in line, but this is the first time we ever signed a free agent straight to the DL and we're not the leat surprised...

Another new feature for OMC

We're calling this one - new rules in baseball. Just some ideas that might make the game more enjoyable or at least less distasteful to some.

Here's the first -
Speaking of Bobby Cros

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2009/03/03/SPBU167P8F.DTL
"I was hoping to be Oakland's shortstop, and that's obviously not in their plans," he said. "I've enjoyed it here, but the best thing for me is to go somewhere I can be an everyday shortstop. They've made up their minds, and I just hope they can give me the opportunity to move on."

Now, here's Bobby's numbers - AVG/OPG/SLG

2008 - .237/.296/.349
Career - .239/.306/.380

Now here's the rule -

You waive your right to ask for/demand a trade if you suck. You want to be traded? Be tradable.

Not another Bobby....

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2009/03/04/SP07168C7A.DTL

Shortstop Bobby Crosby becomes the A's backup middle infielder with the Cabrera acquisition, but there could be some interest in him before the spring is over - including from the Cubs, according to one source. One of Chicago's top scouts was watching Tuesday's game and is known to have been a fan of Crosby in the past.

Why? Is he left handed???

Facebook

A lot of folks recently have been bugging me to get on Face book. I continuously tell them "You're lucky I have a blog..." but fine. I'm on face book. You'll find me under "OMC Smith". I tried One Minute Cubs, and they wouldn't allow it...Go figure...

So, if it floats your boat, friend me, finger me, poke me, tickle my Elmo. I'll probably do crap there less than I do here. Actually, I'm curious if there's a way to simul-post both places...yes, I'm that lazy...

Have a minute on me...

Un-Freakin'-Believable

http://www.suntimes.com/sports/baseball/cubs/1453251,bradley-sick-injured-022709.article

"Bradley goes home with flu, sick and sore"

So, uh....how's half-price Bobby doing?

Manny F#$%$& Ramirez...

Ok seriously....this Manny crap has to stop. 45 million dollars for two years - and he doesn't even have to cut his hair. The Dodgers are negotiating against themselves and that never ends well (cough cough Soriano cough) so seriously, the Dodgers need to cut bait and run. "Screw you Manny. You wanna dick us around, then KMA you dread locked freak. Go ahead - see how much the Giants can throw at you with no one else bidding..."

Yes Manny is a game-changer. And yes, he automatically makes just about any team a contender. But no, Virginia, you don't get to dick around the only team that actually wants you. It's attitude and baggage like this that got Bonds out of the sport. Granted Manny's head isn't several hat sizes too big, but the relative attitude is not something that should be tolerated.

Manny shut up and sign up. You whiny freakin' baby.

Headline of the day....

"Bradley leaves with mild quad tightness"

Ok! Who had 16 minutes in the pool?

Does Bradley even deserve a full minute???

Headlines of the day

"Hoffpauir's grand slam boosts Cubs past L.A."

A mere 5 months too late...

"Soriano plans to return to steal business: targets 30"

Uh huh...

"Indians closer Wood slowed by sore back"

Good to know it's not just us...

Good times...For a minute, The Hoff shines...

Life is good.

When you have a T1 line...With my boss's permission, I ordered tickets from work today.

Opening day, 2 Sox games, and my annual bleacher game - about 500 bucks...ouch.


Like so many things in life, you need to click it to get the full effect...

Yeah...that'd be 80 browsers. That's how I roll...

It took longer to write this post...Barely a minute...

Typical stupid men vs. women argument.

So a buddy of mine at work pointed this out to me:

http://www.dennydavis.net/poemfiles/wmnmen.htm

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there is a man on base. (Dave Barry)

This is such a stereotypical comment it makes me sick. Dave Barry should be ashamed of himself as well. I'm so sick of hearing this idiotic commentary it makes me want to puke. I mean EVERYONE knows that you have to consider not only men on base, but also how many outs there are for the infield fly to take effect.

Sheesh.

Not to mention the runner can also still advance....ok..my minute's up!

:D

Miller Park South???

http://www.suntimes.com/sports/baseball/cubs/1427817,cubs-brewers-amtrak-021209.article

The first 100 Brewers fans who buy tickets to the Cubs’ Sept. 17 game at Wrigley Field will get a free, round-trip ride to Chicago on Amtrak.

The Brewers call the promotion Miller Park South.

[giggle]

You're, um, kidding right? Let's make one thing perfectly clear -

100 fans may be a significant boost to your little team's attendance up there. Down here, 100 fans is the line to the bathroom. You think you can box up 100 peons and send them COD to our town and, what, you think there will be a difference? Please. You've been drinking a bit too much of your sponsor up there kiddies.

Let us know when you wanna play with the big boys. I'll stop laughing in a minute...

P.S. Rickie Weeks is still on your payroll? Silly Beotches...

Now, let's examine this left handed obsession

So Jim Hendry and Lou Piniella, both of whom have done good jobs since coming here, we need a left handed bat. In fact, it seems we need as many as possbile - Aaron Miles - switch hitter, Milton Bradley - switch hitter, Paul Bako - left handed hitter. So we've got them. I've questioned every one of them.

Miles is NOT DeRosa.
Bradley played 20 games in the OF last year
Bako - well, he's just Paul Freakin' Bako.

Cost wasn't a factor -
Henry Blanco - 750,000
Paul Bako - 750,000
Bear in mind the 2008 stats are skewed buy Bako having 170 more AB's than Blanco - AVG/OBP/SLG -
Blanco 2008 - .292/.325/.392
Bako 2008 - .217/.299/.328
More hits, more walks, more power
Ohh but look at the career stats -
Blanco Career - .227/.289/.364
Bako Career - .231/.305/.317
A whopping .004 higher BA. Woot!
Now, here's the REALLY fun part -
Blanco vs LHP - .316/.350/.421
Bako vs LHP - .240/.240/.408
Ok makes sense - Blanco is a righty, so of course.
Blano vs RHP - .316/.350/.421
Bako vs RHP - .224/.315/.303
Holy Crap! But Bako's a LEFTY. and lefties hit righties better right??
Wrong....

Oh...one last thing.

Blanco - Mentor to the upcoming star Geovani Soto
Bako - Stands on the "correct" side of the plate.

Yeah...

First of all - let's recap what I've said...

http://oneminutecubs.blogspot.com/2008/10/more-offseason-thoughts.html

"FA's the need to be re-signed - ... Henry Blanco - A better backup catcher cannot be found."

http://oneminutecubs.blogspot.com/2008/11/tough-question.html

"Right now, the need is a bat. The Cubs will tell you they need a left handed bat. I would argue that they need a bat that can hit righties as well as lefties."

I know this is crazy stuff....so what actually happened -

Blanco signs with the Padres.
Paul Bako signs with the Cubs.

Blanco is right handed.
Bako bats left handed.

Peavy deal Dead. DeRosa still not here.

http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/rumors/post/Heilman-deal-appears-to-end-pursuit-of-Peavy-for?urn=mlb,137550

"We've had no talks about Jake Peavy since they were well-documented during the winter meetings," assistant general manager Randy Bush said. "I don't anticipate anything happening."

Ok, so I'm officially ticked. Not only, have you traded away arguably our most reliable hitter from last season, traded away a lefty from our lefty sparse bullpen, manged to hang on to Rich "out of options and out of baseball" Hill, and traded away our best extra pieces, but now you're once again killing the Peavy trade possibility.

Maybe Jim Hendry is just a baseball genius and I just don't get it. Do we have a better team than last year? I seriously doubt it. Maybe after Milt plays more than a baker's dozen games in the OF I'll change my opinion, but for now I don't think so.

And a minute later, DeRosa is still not here. Hope that World Series ring looks good on him...

Know where your checks come from.

Ryan Dempster was recently criticized by the entire nation of Canada (or at least those not watching the hockey All-Star Game) recently when he revealed he would not pitch for Oh, Canada in the upcoming WBC. Here's the thing - I think it could be argued that pitchers run the highest risk of injury during the daily execution oft heir job. Yes position players could get hurt, but it seems that pitchers are more fragile than the average shortstop. Here's a thought -

Instead of adding 1,000 more pitches to an MLB'ers season, why not use minor league pitchers for the classic? AAA type guys who are not quite ready for prime time. It gives them the opportunity to try out at the big league level, on a world stage, and frankly, it gives the fans the offense they crave. Now, I'm not saying some college hurler should go up there and throw batting practice or anything. But your Kevin Harts and Angel Guzman types.

Just a thought. and a minute. A minute-thought.

What a shame

I realized recently that I snubbed Ronny. Once again, Ron Santo failed to get into the Hall of Fame, and I was completely remiss on reporting it, cuz it's a big deal. So allow me to update this entry with a backdated minute about Ron Santo and his quest for the hall.

HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH!

You wanna make the hall? Stop making everyone listen to you day after day.

HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH!

Ok...Sorry for the omission folks. There's a minute in the past...

Ricks is the picks...

So all I'm hearing over the past couple of days continues to be - "Hey, this Ricketts guy's gonna be a great owner..he's a great fan and we drink beer together all the time.." Ok, so not that last part, but from what these folks are saying, it seems like that line should be in there. Seriously. "He lived across the street from Wrigley", "He met his wife in the bleachers" - hmm, makes me wonder - bikini top? - "He's a big Cubs fan."

Folks, just because he's a Cubs fan, does not mean he's a bad business man. From what I hear, it's going to cost somewhere int he neighborhood of $250 million to fix up Wrigley so it's all pretty and ready to go. He's already spent $900 million on the team. So, where exactly do you think that money's going to come from? Nostalgia? No, it's going to come from several different places, to name a few possibilities: Higher ticket prices, lower payroll, naming rights. Those are just off the top of my head.

Now this isn't anything different that what any other owner would do. But, just because Ricketts used to sit in the bleachers, contrary to popular opinion, does not make him an automatic idiot. "But no, he wouldn't do that to us, the true fans." Yes he would, and probably will, because there are other fans out there with more money than you, so be sure to pay your cable bill, and keep calling WGN for those free tickets.

Tom - wanna win my love? Bring me Peavy on a platter. And some of those kindergarteners Hendry got for DeRosa better be in the package cuz otherwise that'd just piss me off...

I'm the winning bidder for this minute...

Bye Bye Fe-Pie

Finally, we no longer have to listen to Pie this and Pie that. Great defender yes, but hasta la pasta pookie. Maybe, MAYBE if he had more options, I could see holding on to him, but no ...buh bye. So long. Next goes Rich Hill, which is by the way, a sad story, but anyway...Finally, Ronny "Squeak" Cedeno.
And we get back Garrett Olson. Lefty, with a horrid ERA. Maybe LArry can straighten him out, or maybe he too will be flipped for Peavy.

Still waiting for a good reason why D-Ro was traded. Haven't gotten one yet...

Patiently waiting Jim...

For a minute

A coupe of signings...

Just a couple of short entries - 30 second each on a couple of interesting lifers jumping ship and moving to different teams -
http://www.mlbtraderumors.com/2009/01/brewers-nearing.html
This is actually a really good signing for the Brewers. It makes their bullpen suck less and I do not look forward to ninth innings vs the Boo-Hoo Crew. What I DO look forward to is innings 1-8. :D

http://sports.yahoo.com/mlb/news?slug=ge-lowesmoltz010809&prov=yhoo&type=lgns
Somltz is moving on to the Red Sox. Smoltz has been with the Braves longer than Atlanta practically, but the Red Sox topped the Braves offer by "a couple of million". Seriously? You made 14 mil last year. I said it about Dempster before we resigned - what can you do with 5.5 that you can't with 3.5, when you made 14 mil the year before? it's a difference between 19.5 and 17.5.
Seriously Smoltz. You've got like fumes left in the gas tank, and you're going to piss off an entire city for 2 mil? A-hole.

Miiiiiill--toooooooooonnnn!

So it's official, the Cubs are getting a highly qualified DH. Wonderful. I find it really amazing that the number one concern I've heard expressed about this signing is his temper/personality. Don't get me wrong, if my parents named me after the Monopoly guy, I'd probably rather piss on you than look at you too.

Yes he's got good numbers. Yes he led the AL in OBP last year. Yes he'll wig out if anyone start Jaques Jonesing him. I'm totally not worried about that. Here's the little factoid I'm worried about.

He played 20 games in Right Field last year! 20 games. For the non-mathematically inclined, that's 12% of games last season. That would be 2/27ths of last season. And Wrigley Field is supposed to be one of the hardest RF's to play.

But hey. I'm sure it'll be fine. Who needs an actual right fielder who's a consistent left handed power bat (cough cough) Abreu (cough cough)...

But heck. What do I know? I was begging JH to sigh Barry Zito a couple years ago...

Welcome to Chicago Milt. Don't piss us off, or we'll never let you forget it...not even for a minute.

Something brewing....?

So it seems Mark DeRosa and Jason Marquis have left the building...I'd be remiss if I didn't express my opinion here. Aaron Miles is a bargain basement Mark DeRosa. Sadly asd in most things, you tend to get what you paid for. WEill Miles be a switch hitting DeRosa? No. He won't be bad, but he won't be DeRosa.

De-Ro is coming off a career year, and actually his numbers have only gotten better since getting here. But he is also in the lkast year of his contract, and Hendry would not be resigning him for more than he already signed for, so DeRosa was gone at the end of the year anyway. May as well get something for him now. Milers offers less field flexibility for more plate flexibility, which is where the Cubs failed 3 months ago.

Marquis was a good 5th starter. In many rotations he's a decent 3rd starter. So's Sean Marshall. We can totally live without him.

All of this though, just reeks of something bigger. Some maneuvering that will send 5 players to San Diego. Something like a Cendeno, Pie, two of the 3 prospects we just picked up and maybe a Rich Hill.

It's possbile. And it's also the only thing that will make this DeRosa crap not suck.

Following former team members in the offseason...

A scoop! Take THAT ESPN, Yahoo sports, Marty the stinking know-it-all who hangs out by the vending machines talking sports....I got it...you don't.

The complete text of Greg Maddux's retirement speech to be given tomorrow. That's right tomorrow. Don't ask how I got it. It involved bribes, a solid "second story man" and a drunken panda, but I done did got it.

And I'm gonna share it with you.

You ready? Here it is. Every eloquent word that will flow from the master's mouth in just a touch over 24 hours. I'm sure you can imagine how Grego will convey this monumental decision of his. Well, now you don't have to. Here it is.

"I've decided to retire. Thanks."

Boo-yah baby! You tell 'em Greg!

"Spin" of the day

http://mlb.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20081206&content_id=3704406&vkey=news_chc&fext=.jsp&c_id=chc&partnerId=rss_chc

Headline: Cubs freeze 33 percent of ticket prices

Umm, that means they're raising 67 percent of ticket prices. Oh and adding a new "price tier". So let's recap the price tiers:

Economy - We recognize that everyone in baseball has cheap prices every now and again, so we'll give you 3-5 games - but only when the temperature is below 50 degrees and it's so cold, your only possibility of relief is drinking yourself warm and numb.

Regular - This is our normal price structure. Yes, these games only happen before June and after August, but it's "Normal"

Premium - June - August, otherwise known as the only really great time to coem out and watch a game. There are more premium games, than normal games. Wouldn't that make this "normal" then?

New Tier - Also known as the "Second Mortgage Tier" - You didn't actually want to come see one of these games did you? No problem, just skip a car payment or two, and come on out to the old ballpark.

All White Sox games will be in this last tier BTW. Try and hide your surprise. For a minute at least...

History

So, I'm voting, lord knows why, for TYIB awards - it's actually more just an excuse to watch more Cubs highlight reels - and I come across Z's no hitter once more. And I'm watching it, and thinking about watching it live back then. And then I'm thinking about Kruk's comments about how Lou Piniella put a player before the team and let a player who was already hurt go out there repeatedly and let that player gets an accomplishment rather than putting the team first.

You know what? That no-hitter wasn't about Lou, and wasn't about the Cubs, and it wasn't about Zambrano. That no hitter, and every no hitter is about baseball. It's about the magic that happens just every so often and when it happens you have to respect it. You have to respect the game and it's moments. And then, you get to sit back and just say "Wow." THAT'S why we all watch the game. That's why it's so special. Every once in a while, we get to see history, and recognize it for what it is at that moment. Not a year later, not a decade later, but right here, right now, THIS is history. And that deserves respect.
.
.
.
.
Screw John Kruk!

No Jake For You!!!

For those of you anticipating the best rotation in baseball, and yes that would've included alternate dimensions -

http://www.suntimes.com/sports/baseball/cubs/1297404,CST-SPT-cub25.article

On the continued rumblings -- notably out of San Diego -- that the Cubs still might be pursuing starting pitching, such as the Padres' Jake Peavy or free agent Randy Johnson, even after the Ryan Dempster signing: ''No. Starting we don't need. We're set. We've got six good starters [including Sean Marshall], and they're all experienced. Getting Dempster back was the key. We're in good shape with our starting pitching. Bullpen-wise, [we're looking for] possibly one more experienced pitcher. We've got a lot of young kids out there.''

http://mlb.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20081123&content_id=3689645&vkey=news_chc&fext=.jsp&c_id=chc&partnerId=rss_chc

The Padres are trying to cut costs, and acquiring Marquis wouldn't do that. He's owed $9.875 million in 2009. The Cubs headed into the offseason knowing they could afford either Dempster or Peavy, but not both.

Two sources in one day. Yeah...would've been nice, but I guess Jake will be getting his snuggles elsewhere...

11 days and counting....

Since the Cubs cut ties with Kerry Wood and he's STILL NOT SIGNED...

That's a window Jim, and it's closing...

Tough Question

http://mlb.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20081119&content_id=3685573&vkey=hotstove2008&fext=.jsp&partnerId=rss_mlb

The San Diego Padres say the Cubs are still interested in trading for right-hander Jake Peavy. The Cubs, however, insist they would need to be very creative with their finances and get another team involved to swing a deal.

So here's the question. What to do? A month ago, I would've said go after Peavy all hard and old school. However now, after a bit of reflection, here's your rotation-

Zambrano, Dempster, Lilly, Harden, Marquis.

I can actually live with that. Right now, the need is a bat. The Cubs will tell you they need a left handed bat. I would argue that they need a bat that can hit righties as well as lefties. But let's say for the sake of argument, we need a left handed bat.

Looking back if anything failed the team during the season/offseason, it was offense. Due partially to the fact the Kosuke dropped his kibble in the last half of the season, and D-Lee forgot how to hit home runs. So given that, it would seem the offense has to be the bigger priority. So, Jake, unless Towers folds, looks like you're off to somwhere else, or stuck on that crap-ace team. At least the beach is nice eh?

Doin' it right.

I'm overdue for this post. Sorry.

It's good to see that Handry and Dempster did the right thing. The deal Demp signed is fair, prolly a little home-town discount, but again, what can you do with 60mil that you can't do with 50?

Now Ryan - this is not a license to suck. At least not for a few more years...
Definitely more than a minute

From Woody to the Big Unit?

http://www.mlbtraderumors.com/2008/11/cubs-interested.html

So is this kinda a if you can't beat 'em join 'em philosphy? I don't have a major problem with himReplacing Marquis. Prolly get us a few more wins. He's definitely not the Johnson of old, now he's just Johnson old.

So, noiw, thinknig ahead - Peavy, Zambrano, Lilly, Harden, Johnson?

OR

Peavy, Zambrano, Lilly, Dempster, Johnson (with Harden gonig to Pads for Peavy)

Just a thought. for a mninute

Jimmy - you've got some 'splaining to do...

Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy. You have been officially called out. What the H-E-Double-Idiot-Sticks are you thinking? From all I've read the conversation went something like this.
"Sorry Wood, we can't pony up the dough for ya, so go, get your big, long-term contract. We'll still respect you in the morning."
"Um actually Jim, my wife and I have talked aobut it and we'd like to stay. If you can't do a long term thing now, I get that. So let's do a year and figure it out next year."
"No really, Woody. we're good here. We'll miss you and we hate to let you walk away..."
"But Jim. Seriously, Whatever you think is fair. it's all good."
"Aww Woody, it hurts so much, but we just can't afford you."
"Ok, so what. Maybe like a mil. How's that sound?"
"Woody, poor poor Woody. You'll be missed. The fans all love you and you're a good closer too. Say hi to Walt for me."
"Jim. how 'bout half mil. how bout the league minimum. Seriously, I've got cash, I'm not worried aobut it."
"No...it's horrible, we just cant' afford a pitcher of your great skill..."
"Jim. Tell you what. Buy me a Happy Meal, and I'll see you in February. Cool?"
"Oh Woody, I'm so sorry we can't scrape the fund together to keep you."
"Yeah...whatever..."

So really Jim. WTF? Woody offers you not only a 1 year deal, but undoubtedly way below market value, and you piss him away because you got Kevin Gregg? What is the REAL reason you don't want Woody here? We're listening. Speak up. Why did you not sign Wood to a 1 year deal and make our bullpen that much better? Why Jim. Your reasons are bulls@#$. Tell us the real reason. This is far and away the WORST move you have made in your time here, and we just want to know why.

Can you spare us a minute to explain?

WTF Hendry?

http://blogs.chicagosports.chicagotribune.com/sports_hardball/2008/11/wood-leaving-cu.html

From Paul Sullivan -

While Wood was understanding about the Cubs' decision, which Hendry said was made in the best interests of Wood and his family, he did say he would've been amenable to staying and "would have done anything" to stay a Cub. The Cubs told him to go get a three- or four-year deal for more money, but Wood said he would've agreed to a one-year deal to stay.

So Woody's available to stay for one year, like I suggested in my previous post, and you say no thanks?? Are you freakin' kidding me? Why? so you can be Woody's buddy and let him walk and significantly deplete our bullpen.

Jim...Get Kerry on the phone, and beg him to come back...at elast for a minute. The guy wants to stay...don't be a d#$%...

Buh bye

We don't got Wood...

Pttth...well that sucks. As Jim Memolo put it - We finally figured out how to use this guy, and he's off to greener pastures. It seems the problem with Wood is, he's going to get a huge (comparatively) contract now that he's an established closer, and definitely top 3 on the market with so many teams having so many bad bullpens.

I swear he better not end up in St. Louis.

So now we get this Gregg guy. 9, yes that's right Nine blown saves last year. He didn't cost us anything really. Just some kid who MAY grow up to be big and strong, but no help right now. But I also see it as, we lost Woody too.

Now, it's possible that Hendry is assuming Woody wants big bucks, or more prohibitively, big years, but maybe Woody, being the good Chicago guy he is, write another blank check. Gimme one more year to get through the sale and get your lefty bat, then we'll talk some business.

Maybe, but I don't see it. Well, fare thee well Kerry. This is just the latest in a long line of disappointments coming from your career. If you end up in St. Louis or Milwaukee, I hope you vomit up your own appendix.

Seriously, he better have enough respect to go out of the central division. If not, he's just a bee-otch.

Peavy coming to town?

So, it seems the Cubs are becoming the front runners for the Peavy deal AND keeping Dempster. Only problem is, according to some experts, that would likely mean we can't resign wood and go cheap on a left handed right fielder. But is that really what the Cubs need?

Don't get me wrong, I was salivating over that rotation just a couple of weeks ago. But, if I remember correctly, and I'm quite sure I do, let's play a little pretend.

The Cubs get Peavy and send away oh say Pie, Marshall, Marquis (while eating some salary), and say a minor leaguer.

With the rotation of Peavy, Zambrano, Dempster, Lilly, Harden, and Marmol closing, I'm projecting, all things being equal, the following -

95 games in which the Cubs lead or are tied after 5th inning
25 games in which the lead is lost after the 5th inning
30 games in which long relief is needed, long relief defined as starting nit he 4th inning or earlier.
30 games in which the Cubs come back/win late.
100 wins

Granted this is plus or minus 10%. But what it all adds up to is -

3 more losses in October.
1,000,000 "World Championship" t-shirts destroyed.
And at least another minute in the spotlight before wilting under the pressure...

Blago hypo

http://www.wgntv.com/landing/?Blagojevich-says-Obama-replacement-searc=1&blockID=127706&feedID=1536

"Blagojevich heaped praise on nearly every one mentioned, but refused to name any front-runners and said he hadn't even thought about it yet out of fear he would "jinx" Obama."

Yet this is the same guy who showed up for a Cubs Post season rally before THAT started...So Blago jinxed us? What the heck? You gotta get your priorities straight man. I mean this is the World Series we're talking about...not some stupid election...

Jeez.

:D

Dempster dipping the proverbial toe in the water...

http://www.mlbtraderumors.com/2008/11/dempster-will-t.html

Dempster Will Test Open Market

So Ryan says he won't sign with the Cubs before other teams have had their say. So, Ryan lemme get this straight - We signed you fresh off of Tommy John, put you in the bullpen into the closer job you wanted, left you there even though the fans wanted you dead (except me and I will argue that til my dying day), and then put you in the rotation like you asked, but F-you, I wanna talk to some other teams?

Tell you what - how about you go work at WalMart (because that's where you would've ended up had we not gotten your crippled a-hole off the scrap heap) for a couple days, then get back to us.

You're going to pitch here little boy. Hendry would be foolish not to sign you. You just want to squeeze as much money out as possible? What exactly can you do with 60 million that you can't do with 50? Greed...It's a deadly sin...

Hendry - Get he Padres on the line!

Think about that for a minute.

Random Thought....

This is my all time favorite joke, and I only get to tell it twice a year, so here ya go -

"And in local news, 17 people were injured today when told to 'Spring ahead, and fall back'..."

BOO YAH!!!!